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So I haven't had any pussy for a hot minute, and I don't have the scratch for an escort so I go to a club. Normally I try to avoid this shit like the plague since it involves talking to morons BUT desperate times call for desperate measures.
So first thing I notice after I get by the 5 foot tall bouncer (who better be some sort of MMA powerhouse or the club is in trouble with mini-me at the door), is the fact that hip hop garb is no longer "in." All the dudes are wearing some ol gay shit if I ever saw it.
Poofy sweaters with the dress shirt underneath. Bell bottom jeans with creases. Even the "thugs" were homo, with perfectly starched and straight baseball caps with designer tims with silver buttons. WTF?? Did I die and go to a Alternative Lifestyle Pirate Heaven? I'm hella confused until I just fell asleep on one of the couches, when this fat bitch wakes me up massaging my shoulders.
So I chatted the whore up and go home with her, and she starts pretending like all she wants to do at the house is talk and watch MTV...I lean over to start the foreplay, but she starts blushing and turns away. I'm like fuck this shit, stood up and put on my jacket. She's like where are you going, and I say
"Home to masturbate." She's laughing like I was joking and I'm gonna stick around, but I just went the fuck home and jerked off. Funny shit is, I felt all relieved and calm after that. I should have just done that and stayed in.
So first thing I notice after I get by the 5 foot tall bouncer (who better be some sort of MMA powerhouse or the club is in trouble with mini-me at the door), is the fact that hip hop garb is no longer "in." All the dudes are wearing some ol gay shit if I ever saw it.
Poofy sweaters with the dress shirt underneath. Bell bottom jeans with creases. Even the "thugs" were homo, with perfectly starched and straight baseball caps with designer tims with silver buttons. WTF?? Did I die and go to a Alternative Lifestyle Pirate Heaven? I'm hella confused until I just fell asleep on one of the couches, when this fat bitch wakes me up massaging my shoulders.
So I chatted the whore up and go home with her, and she starts pretending like all she wants to do at the house is talk and watch MTV...I lean over to start the foreplay, but she starts blushing and turns away. I'm like fuck this shit, stood up and put on my jacket. She's like where are you going, and I say
"Home to masturbate." She's laughing like I was joking and I'm gonna stick around, but I just went the fuck home and jerked off. Funny shit is, I felt all relieved and calm after that. I should have just done that and stayed in.