:chinese:
ok first off ill give Khevlar this, he said he was gonna send me the album and he spent about 3$ to send me his album so he lived up to his word and thats good. Unfourtantly after listening to the entire masterpeice known as Suburban Nightmare i dont have too many positive things to say about it.
lets begin with the track by track analysis/breakdown on a sliding 1-10 scale of 10 being the best and 1 the worst.
#1 "
Psykho - welcome to the nightmare" Feat Arjay Produced by YESSURR rating = (-3/10)
This is an appropriate title for the entry of this album because forcing myself to listen to this entire album more than once was nothing less than a nightmare, i can picture hell being similar to this, listening to Khevlars music for 24 hours straight while being trapped in a padded room. The track as best as i can tell is about how you dont want to fuck with Khevlar becuase he is indeed a Psykho oh i get it psy
KHo cause hes
KHevlar very witty and ingenious. Some high points of the song is the beat is upbeat catchy something to bump on your way to the club before you stand on the sidelines all night and then finally at 2:25am work up the nerve and try to talk to the fat ugly bitch with fake eyebrows and bad breath and acne, get shot down and go home alone.
memorable quote "Cops cant stop insanity, strapped down with magic beans"
#2 "
KHaligula" Produced by sho down rating = (-7/10)
I have no idea why this track is called KHaligula but oh well who cares right? lol the basic premise of the track is that Khev's sayin he needs an excorsizm cause hes so crazy or upset at you. the first part of the track Khev says in a very convincing threatening voice "I'm ready to Fucking kill somebody right now!" man i wouldnt wanna be around Khevlar when he gets ready to ride, the beats the same continuous garbage loop over and over again every 4 bars
so many memorable quotes to choose from, heres a few choice ones "i dont care if your rockin stilettos youll get killed in the ghetto!" "My first album is a street authenticated ghetto classic, now im just looking for another way to get richer, when the sick wigger sips liquor he spits spirits and hits mirrors" "i am the greatest lyricist walking on dry land" "and i gotta smash out now and pick up my girlfreind from pre school"
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editors note* (I really dont think i can go on two tracks into 19 and im having second thoughts like a mufucka that has to eat walrus testicals on fear factor but for the siccness ima keep it pushin and sacrifice my mental well being for ya'll, hopefully someone appreciates my hard work and insanity)
*guzzles double shot of remy*
#3 "
Skyin" (shouldnt it be sKHyin? you slipped on that one Khev) Feat Arjay Produced by sho down and khevlar rating = (-2/10)
In this track Khev is sayin he thinks he finally made it in the music business and hes gonna rap about his success, the beat is that usual synth heavy pop bullshit the Arjay hook on here is the closest thing ive heard that actually resembles music on this album. Subject matter includes talk about how much money khevs made in the rap game and how he cant stop till he reaches the top lol good luck with that folks
memorable quote(s) "sold 60 grand and i aint even make it" "Yeah im white, but im stompin and plottin you couldnt be a sick african rapper something something anaconda"
#4 "
Make it right" Feat Bank of Renegades and suprise suprise Arjay Produced by Sinima rating = (-4/10)
This is some of that ole Arjay player shit, lol im freinds with Arjay so i can talk about him, really questioning his judgement for bein on this album so heavily but thats besides the point and ill save it for my final overview of this pathetic excuse of an album. So anyways as the hook states baby lets not fight lets ride together you and I. Another short track thank god talkin bout that stereotypical i wanna get with you baby not fight with you, your my number 1 lady, essentially a song for you to play when your on your way to taco bell drivethru with the fat bitch from the club i mentioned earlier and you only got enough money for two fiesta platters and you know she wants both of um but your hungry so you gotta knock this to avoid the inevitable drama when you get there. I thought Khevlar was having problems tryin to rap but then Bank of the renegades comes on oh my really takes the cake with his innovative rhyme patterns, amazing.
memorable quote (gotta give it to Banks non ryhmein ass this time) "Man all kinda tools, and 7 days a week gone to texas baby girl theres no pressure"
#5 "
Smashdown (city to city)" Produced by Dr. BJ i mean JB rating = (-5/10)
This song is about some more bullshit im guessin its about how khevlar rolls from city to city to city to city doin that gangster shit, clownin people smashin on people representing skwahomish county from the shoulders or with the pistola lol god damn this guy is such a fuckin joke why am i even subjecting myself to this.....
memorable quote(s) "you dont want problems, see we pee pee on children" "picture me monroe, picture me rollin" "Number one in the rap, hip hop game, i dont know how many years ive been #1 on soundclick" "Anybody that say i aint the best is a liar"
#6 "
Taking out the garbage" Produced by sindustry (i wonder if hes related to sinima? lol) rating = (-10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000/10)
Speaking of taking out the garbage thats exactly where im gonna put this Cd when i finish this review lol naw im jus kidding im actually gonna take it to everyday music and get 2$ for it then spend that on some alcohol to help me forget i ever listened to the whole thing numerous times. Well from the sound of this track Khev is real upset and he aint gonna take it anymore, hes gonna kill people and hes gonna do it to a heavy metal hip hop beat oh man my favorite jus when you think this album cant get worse it does, it really does. Khev is upset with greedy bitches and hes rapping about killin um for having herpes or some shit like that
memorable quote(s) "I KILL PEOPLE!!!" "your softer than snot to me" "these dirtbags are infectious evil"
man im glad i never have to listen to that track again
#7 "
Real Monsters" Feat minus of the renegades Produced by Dr. BJ rating = (-1/10)
This track is more like it, its a song for the kids about literal monsters like "the green monster that lives behind monroe high school or the giant man in the woods behind robin hood lane. I like this track the best so far cause the beat is simple as fuck and doesnt make my head hurt or make me wanna hurt ole khevlar for making this horrible music also its rediculous and its ment to be im assuming.
Kids you wanna know whats real scary download this album to your moms ipod and listen to it for an hour oooooooooh
memorable quote "I seen a ghost in the cemetery by joey blairs house" "they almost had those empire bats peeing in their pants"
#8 "
Breathe Deep" Feat Black op from the renegades and Arjay (man poor Arjay he musta lost a bet or something) Produced by VTZ rating = (-5/10)
This song is another romantic ballad for all the females that are down with those Empire batz, smooth laid back beat Arjay serenading the women on the hook Khevlar spittin that good game for the females and black op doin his best to make it sound like hes not reading lyrics directly off a peice of paper and like he can actually rap.
memorable quote(s) "your with the bat king huh? and im right here with you" "(Khev singing)I know im a thug but we can still make love"
#9 "
Breakh yo backh" *i think the extra H is for horrible* Produced by Free Bangaz and Khevlar rating = (-5/10)
Khevlars feeble attempt at a club banger! beat heavy on noisy stabber synths and gay drums, according to Khevlar This ones for the sluts and the whores. This track he admits to trickin off on girls with big round asses, he says he needs a "Sexorsism" lol hillarious call back to the classic track where he talks about needing an excorsism man khevlar where do you come up with this classic material at the end he talks its great, his freind says baby alligator playing with the titties man where do they come up with this shit it cant be original its tooo gooood lol
memorable quote(s) "I had this crazy cunt say shoot me i dont care, but she cried and went home when i puked in her hair" "stick a gun in your pussy while you eat your mother out"
#10 "
Dirty Ladiez" Feat Arjay (im feelin so bad for arjay cause he gets mentioned numerous times in this song) Produced by sho down rating = (-4/10)
Yet another track about Khevlar talkin about whores and bitches, according to the Arjay hook Khevlar can tell that girls want him cause of the way they move their bodies in the club. Similar bullshit stereotypical futuristic boring cruising in the beat up 87 tercel down the mean streets of monroe beat.
memorable quote(s) "looks like your vaginas gonna win the lottery today" "i promised Arjay i wouldnt embarrass him this time" "I need a girl that dont mind my batman pajamas"
#11 "
Say uncle" Feat minus and Barricade of the renegadez Produced by hard headed ent rating = (-9/10)
this song makes me wanna say uncle and abort my mission of reviewing this album and listen to some real music but i have gorrilla nuts so i shall continue for the sicccness, i do it for the NW forum. so anyways back to the track more people from the renegades talking on the mic pretending their rapping someone needs to go to monroe and teach a rap class another heavy metal beat with some of that chipmunk high pitched sampled singing thats popular easily the worst beat on the album thus far makes me wanna beat khevlar with a golf club. The song is about how your gonna say uncle cause he has the rap game in a choke hold.
memorable quote "i aint as gangster but your from a weak block" "nobody sell as many records as us"
#12 "
Princess Freestyle" Produced by Dr. BJ rating = (-8/10)
Im assuming this is a freestyle track, man are you really expecting girls to listen to this song cause no man is gonna knock this real shit, gay ass soft beat freestyle about khevlar talkin about his many whores or his number one whore i guess his princess at least the beat is quiet and my remy is plentiful so i might just make it to 19. innovative rhymes hes almost rapping on beat here prolly cause its a freestyle.
memorable quote(s) "I wanna hit that ass doggy style while you eat out your daughter" "she lets me pee in her ass and then shell bleed in the bath" "your panties cost more than most peoples rent"
#13 "
Ride wit Mey" Produced by sho down rating = (-4/10)
This song is for your hood and khevlars hood his town to your town, its how he gets down. According to Khevlar Skalhomoish county is the roughest and their not afraid to let the slugs out. typical lame beat typical lame content ride with khevlar pop your coller and raise your flag up. seriously though this shit isnt even funny to me anymore im literally starting to want to physically harm khavlar hopefully an Arjay feat on the next few tracks will calm me down .
memorable quote "These bats here are willing to die with Mey!"
#14 "
Nasty Girl" Feat Oxygen of the rengayez and Arjay Produced by the real king kong and khevlar rating = (-7/10)
oh man more Arjay just what i needed also another track about nasty girls I didnt see that one comming in fact its called nasty girls what a suprise. This one is featuring oxygen of the renegayz it sounds like oxygen can actually rap for a second on the hook but then he spits a few bars and its obvious that no he cant actually rap another suprize this song is full of um. I'ma have to sit down with Arjay and have a serious talk with him next time i see him. Beat is on some gay club anthem wanna be type garbage
memorable quote(s) "these breezies call me nonstop" lol "Eminem dont have to worship the devil to sell records, well i do" "Your nipples is attractin me, pullin me in"
#15 "
Turn my back on you" Feat....drumroll...........Arjay! produced by Dr. BJ rating =(-3/10)
I have a good memory and remember this free beat being on soundclick back in 2001 so its a classic! lol another song for the ladies man they cant get enough. Arjay on the hook telling the ladies i hope you understand i dont really wanna be your man i jus want the pussy, i can relate to that message but i cant relate to these lyrics or flow or anything else. A track dedicated to khevlars ex girlfreind who happens to be a whore. he doesnt wanna be with her anymore so he made her a song about it
memorable quote(s) "your the type of girl thats tryin to date every thug" "I aint the only one thats mad alot of the homiez wanna twist your cap"
#16 "
Day & Night" Feat Arjay Produced by sindustry rating = (3/10)
At least Arjay had a decent hook that made this track somewhat bearable that is until khevlar opens his mouth of course. This hook reminds me of why i became cool with Arjay in the first place, hes talented unfourtnatly none of the talent rubs off on khavlar. beat is bland at best and nothing to write home about. got a lil guitar lik in it. songs premise is about how day and night khevlars tryin to get his paper and i can dig that message but just cant relate to the monroe savage known as khvelar. This is my kinda Arjay hook though man might be the remy talkin though
memorable quote "the king of the northwest yes my status is clear" "Khevlar is crazy" lol no shit he thinks hes the king of the nw, man give up rapping please folks dont do it no more its not for you nothing personal just factual shit
#17 "
Flash Dance" Feat the renegays and Arjay Produced by slantize rating = (-6/10)
Khevlars token strip club track, look for me to never play this at the strip club i work at and look for it to never be played at any strip club ever in a million years. lol Arjay soundin a lil T painish in this hook. synth heavy typical beat. Renegaydes attempting to rap as usual oh man so close to the end i cant belive i did all this shit tonight im literally a lunatic. khevlar talkin about bein a trick some more on here, suprise suprise
memorable quote(s) "shell prolly cum when she touch me" "tip her and then pee, meet me in the restroom"
#18 "
suburban nightmare" Feat Arjay Produced by hala-x rating = (-4/10)
Title track its gotta be good right? nope beat got some violin sample on it and repetitive loop, im starting to think Khevlar is seriously on some real life gangster shit up there in monroe cause he had to have held Arjay at gunpoint for a week to do 100 tracks on his album, its the only explaination i can come up with. same shit hes a nightmare fuckin girls and killin people
memorable quote "he aint on my shit list, hes on my he aint shit list"
#19 "
Heaven knowz" man please god dont let Arjay be featured on this track please!.......Feat Arjay FUCK! lol Produced by VTZ rating = (-3/10)
This is an appropriate title for the end of this album because it feels like heaven that im almost done with this album, the shackles will soon come off. Soft piano beat borring as fuck supposed heartfelt track from Khevlar about how hes worked so hard in the rap game and its gotta pay off, according to Arjays hook hes been trying hard to be a man.
memorable quote "tell me who in the fuck is buying my shit?" man thats a great question
Ok its over, im done, im drunk i did this to keep my word cause all i have is my balls and my word, khevlar kept his word and sent me the album so i reviewed it, it was a very accurate heartfelt review, ive known Arjay since before he did his Federal time and im literally amazed he was on 13 out of 19 tracks of this pathetic excuse of an album, but im sure theres a reasonable explaination for it.
Khevlar on a personal note i want you to do something for me go to this music page on myspace
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=204848824
i know this girl her rap name is Subliminal, you guys have something in common you both think you can rap. listen to her flow, thats exactly how you sound over a beat, rhythym wise and delivery wise. Its not a pretty sight and i think both of you and the renegays are dilusional for continuing to rap like that. Thats the best advice i can give you, no matter what i say your gonna do what you do but continue to do you fuck what i say continue to put out as much horrible rap music as you want and if it sells (which we all know it aint) more power to you.
that is all im fucked up and tired of listening to horrible music, ima bump dj quik safe and sound and try to regain some of my sanity im not gonna alter or revise anything i wrote its all there the way i typed it, id like the 3 hours of my life back but im not gonna get it so i hope someone onthe siccness reads some of this and appreciates the hard work i do for yall and the dedication i have for this forum.
... saddle up!
