It seems that before I launch into this letter, I should tell you that Big Rich often recruits horny jerks who bring to Big Rich's cause new energy and a willingness to grasp at straws, trying to find increasingly raucous ways to assuage the hungers of his toadies with servings of fresh scapegoats. Unless you share my view that it frustrates him that he can't shut me up, there's no need for you to hear me further. I don't mean to throw fuel on an already considerable fire, but we must insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward philistinism. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own unruly-to-the-core theatrics. I guess what I really mean to say is that one of his most ethically bankrupt protégés is the point man in a process of creeping fascistization of our society. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that time cannot change Big Rich's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Big Rich can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not postmodernist pettifoggers.
Big Rich's jeremiads are in conflict with accepted morality. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to warn the public against those soporific mob bosses whose positive accomplishments are always practically nil but whose conceit can scarcely be excelled, I must explain to the population at large that if the past is any indication of the future, Big Rich will once again attempt to bring this battle to a fever pitch. His patsies are often caught trying to introduce a zeitgeist of escapism to our society. Of course, they deny this but we all know full well that I have a scientist's respect for objective truth. That's why I'm telling you that Big Rich's mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. Big Rich has a near-legendary lack of common sense, decency, and manners. But that's not the end of the story. Bloodthirsty incubi often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Big Rich enjoys watching respectable people twist and writhe whenever he threatens to attack my character.
Big Rich's inability to fathom what I am talking about is betrayed by his insistence that divine ichor flows through his veins. Only a true-blue disloyal slubberdegullion or one who is totally clueless about corporatism could claim otherwise. Big Rich wants to damage the self esteem and physical health of millions of young men and women. Who does he think he is? I mean, one of his most loyal yes-men is known to have remarked, "Clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking." And there you have it: a direct quote from a primary source. The significance of that quote is that honor means nothing to Big Rich. Principles mean nothing to Big Rich. All he cares about is how best to carry our once-proud nation deeper into savagery and depravity. In a nutshell, Big Rich has become increasingly unconscionable ever since childhood.
