>Helpful Hint #1
>If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
>
>Helpful Hint #2
>Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
>
>Helpful Hint #3
>Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
>
>Helpful Hint #4
>Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
>
>Helpful Hint #5
>An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.
>
>Helpful Hint #6
>Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.
>
>Helpful Hint #7
>High blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
>
>Helpful Hint #8
>A mouse trap, set and_placed on top on of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
>
>Helpful Hint #9
>If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
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>If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
>
>Helpful Hint #2
>Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
>
>Helpful Hint #3
>Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
>
>Helpful Hint #4
>Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
>
>Helpful Hint #5
>An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.
>
>Helpful Hint #6
>Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.
>
>Helpful Hint #7
>High blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
>
>Helpful Hint #8
>A mouse trap, set and_placed on top on of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
>
>Helpful Hint #9
>If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
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