JOKES......Who Has The Siccest Ones?

[BossRawToon]

Why did princess Diana cross the road?

Cus she wasn't wearing a seat belt

 

[Mike Manson]

Why are women like condoms?
They spend 90% of their time in your wallet, and 10% on your dick.

 

[Mike Manson]

A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together. When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No! Someone may see, a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you'd like it, too..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love... Don't be like that..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"

 

[Mike Manson]

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

 

[Red Flaggin]

more baby jokes please.

 

[Mike Manson]

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?



Fucked.

 

[Mike Manson]

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?




Nail its other hand to the floor.

 

[Mike Manson]

What is better than a dead baby?



The revoked child-support.

 

[NorthBay 415]

FUCK THE DEAD BABY JOKES R FUCKN HILARIOUS

 

[scrillafein]

What do you get when you cross a pirate and a pervert?




Arrrr-Kelly.

 

[L.D.S.]

What's funnier than a dead baby?











A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.

 

[L.D.S.]

How do you make a dead baby float?







Take your foot off of it's head.

 

[L.D.S.]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?






When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

 

[L.D.S.]

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?










Bob

 

[L.D.S.]

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying in a ditch?











Phil.

 

[prodigy91]

How did pinoccio get a circumsition?

with a pencil sharpener.

 

[G RAIDER]

A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent’s bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, “Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb!”

 

[I AM]

I find these funny...yes, I have a sick sense of humor.

A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.

His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"

Oh, no: I never found her head.

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night?

Crib death.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left it.

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat.

What's red and orange and looks good on hippies?

Fire.

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."

Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn, licking his balls.

One guy says to the other, "Man, I sure wish I could do that".

The other guy says, "Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"

 

[TLALOC]

the MJ one had me rollin...hahahahahaha

 

[I AM]

i told a couple guys i work with the michael jasckon one...they thought it was pretty funny....