Funny Sex Stories

  • Wanna Join? New users you can now register lightning fast using your Facebook or Twitter accounts.
A

AdolfOliverBush

Sicc OG
#1
Apr 25, 2002
4,688
2,578
113
45
Houston
#1
Anybody have any funny sex stories. I can share one.

When I was in college and living on campus, I had a loft bed, which meant I basically had a top bunk with nothing under it and I could put furniture under it, like a desk, etc. I put a futon under it because that was the only place we could put it in our small dorm room.

One weekend my old girlfriend came over. We slept on the futon because it was wider than my bed. We were going at it and she was on top of me. I got a little too into it and gave her a hard thrust and made her hit her head hard on the bed right above her. She had a big bump on her head. And no, we did not finish and did not have sex any more that weekend. But I had to keep myself from laughing when it initially happened.
 
Q

Queen Bee

Member
#2
Jun 11, 2005
93
0
0
#2
While im riding my BF(at the time) I see a man in his window looking in. I freak out and yell he jumps up and we bump heads. It turns out it was just his friend who came to his bedroom window to tell him to let him in the house. He scared the hell out of me and gave me a headache.
 
M

Meelo

Sicc OG
#3
May 31, 2005
2,420
2
0
36
#3
the first time a chick queefed on my shit i almost punched her in her neck cuz i thought she farted on my shit....plus i was hittin it from the back, i didnt kno what the fuck that shit was at first then when i finally realized what happened we both started hella laughin, that shit was the most un-sexy shit ever in sexual history though. ugh.
 
V

ValleyEnt

Sicc OG
#5
Jul 27, 2005
1,258
17
0
46
#5
smokingoods said:
^^^ive had a broad puke on me while giving me head. i think thats beats out a queef for 'un-sexy'nes
Click to expand...
lol! ^^... One time i was so drunk and i was gettin Head from some chick that was Probaly equally as Drunk as me. I thought i was Bustin a Nut, But it was actually Piss! I pissed all in her mouth! And when i pulled it out a Big yellow stream of "MICKEY's BEER" Piss came out of her mouth! I couldnt control my pissing and started peeing on her Face and hair!!! lol. She was sittin there on her Knees Gaggin and Throwing up for hella Long! She was drenched in Pee! OMFG I'll never ever forget that.
 
TONY206

TONY206

/b/ased
#7
Jun 13, 2002
13,154
525
113
siccness.net
#7
ValleyEnt said:
lol! ^^... One time i was so drunk and i was gettin Head from some chick that was Probaly equally as Drunk as me. I thought i was Bustin a Nut, But it was actually Piss! I pissed all in her mouth! And when i pulled it out a Big yellow stream of "MICKEY's BEER" Piss came out of her mouth! I couldnt control my pissing and started peeing on her Face and hair!!! lol. She was sittin there on her Knees Gaggin and Throwing up for hella Long! She was drenched in Pee! OMFG I'll never ever forget that.
Click to expand...

hahahahahaha omfg HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
DeceptaKhan

DeceptaKhan

Sicc OG
#10
May 19, 2005
2,341
112
63
42
#10
my boy threw a birthday party for his girl,they get shitfaced,he starts hittin guts and i guess didnt realize how fuckin passed out she was.Next morning big problem,shes left before he woke up ,she got escorted to the hospital cause she was on the rag and had a tampon on while they had"crazy sex".So my boy had to go to the hospital to comfort and be by her in such a fucked up sitation,but not even before he goes in the hospital he runs into his girls parents and her lil brother.There there to see why the hell their daughter is in the hospital...ya,there no more anymore

i dunno wut happened to the chick, i think she jus got bruised up pretty bad, but think if you were in that fuckin position
 
m.w.merlino

m.w.merlino

Sicc OG
#11
Dec 18, 2002
3,928
5
0
39
#11
Yall have some horrible shit to talk about...

I was hittin it in a bathroom stall at the college...then lunch rush hit and it was a bathroom full of college girls takin shits...had to wait until everyone left to sneak out, did NOT finish. Never did that again.
 
fillyacup

fillyacup

Rest In Free SoCo
#15
Sep 27, 2004
31,995
11,254
113
25
#15
damn...that piss things funny as fuck

i member i was gettin bossed in the homies room an she sucked at it (no pun intended). so for about a half hour i was thinking hella hard to just bust one so i can get another beer. mean while the homies in the living room wit his girl an older brother watching a movie. his girl is the girls sister that choppin me up. so finially ima bout to bust an she specifically told me not to bust in her mouth, i forgot an in the end she was gettin good so i grabbed her hair an lite weight pulled back but she wanted to continue so she went forward an i busted in her eye an on her shoulder an her forhead. she was wearing them shirts wit no shoulders so it was everywhere. she couldnt see out one eye an ran out the room an slammed into the corner of the halway. then stumbled into the bathroom. i was in the room an heard her sister say "what was that on her shoulder?"

good day
 
eastbayrider510

eastbayrider510

Sicc OG
#16
Jul 25, 2003
8,428
2
0
43
www.brazzers.com
#16
fuck it.. i told my boys about this shyt when it happend

senior year of high skool 4 me 2001.....this little filipino chick who was diggin on me and i was trying to get at finally go out...well we do the usual...food movies....and then i drive to this park to see if ushe was down to walk around wit me and shyt....well when we get there she tell me and i qoute "pull it out"...so pull out the meat sausage shes about to swallow...haha...and shes giving me dome in the car...the only thing is...shes fucking never did it...it was nothing but teeth bj...she wwould grind her teeth up and down almost deepthroating.....and it hurts soooo fucking bad but i dont want to tell her to stop becuz once every minute theres spot of nice contact of just lips on my dick....anyways i end up tit fucking this bitch and finishing up....but the next day on my left and right side of my dick had bruising and purple marks....and it has swelled like a bitch....that shyt was out of commision for a good week....gawd damn beezy
 
G

GAMETIGHT408

Sicc OG
#17
Mar 1, 2004
409
0
0
#17
lol! ^^... One time i was so drunk and i was gettin Head from some chick that was Probaly equally as Drunk as me. I thought i was Bustin a Nut, But it was actually Piss! I pissed all in her mouth! And when i pulled it out a Big yellow stream of "MICKEY's BEER" Piss came out of her mouth! I couldnt control my pissing and started peeing on her Face and hair!!! lol. She was sittin there on her Knees Gaggin and Throwing up for hella Long! She was drenched in Pee! OMFG I'll never ever forget that.
Click to expand...
Funniest story ever!!!! LOL
 
YOUNGNUTT

YOUNGNUTT

I'm so O.C.
#18
Jul 9, 2002
7,282
817
0
44
Santa Ana to Long Beach
#18
FUCC IT.....

BACC IN HIGH SCHOOL, I THINK I WAS A FRESHMEN.
MY GIRL (AT THE TIME) WAS GIVE'N' ME HEAD AS I LAY ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR AT MY PAD. ALL IS GOOD, I BUST A FAT ASS NUTT IN HER MOUTH. SHE COMES UP TO KISS ME (FUCC IT), AND SPITS ALL MY NUTT INTO MY MOUTH!!! :dead:
SHE RUNS AWAY LAUGHING, WHILE I RUSH TO THE BATHROOM TO THROW UP AND BRUSH MY TEETH. WHEN I FINISHED USING A WHOLE TUBE OF TOOTH PASTE, THE BITCH WAS STILL BUT ASS NAKED IN MY LIVING ROOM LAUGHING HER ASS OFF. SO I TAKE ALL HER CLOTHES AND RUN OUTSIDE AND THROW THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.
I KNOW THAT'S NOT EQUAL TO WHAT SHE DID TO ME, BUT I HAD TO THINK FAST!!!
THE HOMIES LOVE CLOWN'N' ME ON THIS STORY!!!
 
fillyacup

fillyacup

Rest In Free SoCo
#20
Sep 27, 2004
31,995
11,254
113
25
#20
wow.....dogg this is the internet yes, an we dont know you, yes, but why still tell that nasty story!?!?!?!


lol!


chop that HOE!!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom