F MY LIFE!
http://www.fmylife.com/
Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch Ham Sub. FML
#2104597 (25) - 05/20/2009 at 1:37am by Richie - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (2901) - you deserved that one (169)
Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML
#2104254 (16) - 05/20/2009 at 1:18am by Anonymous - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (2530) - you deserved that one (333)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
#2103981 (47) - 05/20/2009 at 1:10am by Takuma - sex - I agree, your life is f***ed (482) - you deserved that one (3151)
Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I proceeded to place my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML
#2100756 (31) - 05/19/2009 at 11:31pm by EricCartman - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (2392) - you deserved that one (259)
Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML
#2097800 (35) - 05/19/2009 at 10:17pm by Debra2005 - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (3283) - you deserved that one (743)
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
#2095201 (32) - 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm by bopbop - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (4616) - you deserved that one (201)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
#2093858 (62) - 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm by Kens - sex - I agree, your life is f***ed (1045) - you deserved that one (5350)
Today, I walked into the office of my new orthodontist. As I went up to the receptionist to inform her that I was there, she immediately puts down the phone and kindly starts to explain that this is an orthodontists office, and not a dermatologist. I never thought my skin was that bad. FML
#2089501 (19) - 05/19/2009 at 7:16pm by himym_love - health - I agree, your life is f***ed (3832) - you deserved that one (147)