Time to expose your deepest darkest secret...Who's gonna keep it real...
- Thread starter mustynutz
- Start date
When i was in preschool, i got in trouble for lining the girls up on chairs so i could look under their skirts.
When i was in kindergarten, teachers were still allowed to spank you & I got swatted with a yard stick by my teacher & that mother fucker made me cry in front of my kinder-girlfriend ...i recently went for drinks with her & reminded her about that day lol
When I was in 1st grade my mom sent me to St. John Vianney catholic school & broke hella bread to have me there & I called the nun a fucking penguin on day 1, because she told me i needed to be quiet. I got expelled for that on day 1... no refund.
I started smoking weed in 3rd grade with my older sister & my boy.
When I was a sophomore I got expelled for knocking my teacher "Mr. Wiley" out cold in the middle of class, because he told me to sit down, but poked me in the chest with his finger so I clocked him. When he woke up he declined to press charges.
My last ex thought we were having make up sex & I knew in my mind it was gonna be break up sex before I kicked her out, so I came in her mouth
Some illegal stuff I cant really tell you about.
When I was 15 I used to slang explosives & sold some to the Uso homeboy at school before class started... he ended up blowing the bathroom up with a half stick of dynamite & put a holE in the wall & hurt some kid.... I got arrested / went to juvie for that. He ratted me out.
One time me & my friends found a VW bug broken down at the top of sierra road (in the hills), we pushed it off a cliff with my homies bronco.
One time on way too much acid, we were 4x4ing up off hwy 1 in davenport, & got stuck in a creek that was connected to the ocean & the tide was rising, it was the middle of the night & I cheated on a game of rock paper scissors to see who was gonna have to walk to town to call a cab (pre-cell phone days)
deepest darkest secret: I have a closet full of Ugly Nigga T-shirts & Girbaud shuttle jeans i only wear to church on sundays.
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I was a bully in highschool. I remember this one time I shot a spitball at this one nerd with a huge nose and it stuck right in his nostril and he couldn't get it out. Lol I swear to God. I pointed at him and laughed as hard as I could. We use to bring a camcorder to school and just record funny shit. I found one of the tapes once at my Dads house and watched it. I was the biggest Asshole in the world lol. I went up to the nerd table in study hall and zoomed in on their faces and went around the table and made fun of em all. I got to the last dude, his name was Dick Long haha. When I ripped on em he just got sad and put his head down and I zoomed in on his head and made fun of his dandruff lol. I felt bad and embarrassed so I threw it away. I'm prolly on a list of people to kill or two. Good thing school shootings weren't in style then. Some of it kinda sounds funny but I owe them dudes an apology.
i cum in less than 30 seconds...45 seconds if im really trying to please her
Props:
R, R, Mr G and 13 others
Me n my friends used to fuck with this one crack head who was like 6 years older than us so much back in grade 8-9.
We used to get him to smoke caterpillar spliffs, fish food spliffs, ladybug spliffs (when he smoked it you could hear the ladybugs popping), firecracker spliffs, cigarette filter spliffs. We used to light his boots on fire, shoot roman candles at him, practice any wrestling moves on him, use him as a combo dummy and send him downtown to panhandle all day then buy us discount beer. And some even worse shit I'm not even gonna say lol
This crackhead was so fucked up and got his ass whooped so bad he was impervious to being kicked in the nuts, it didn't hurt him. And he was such a fiend you could pick up anything white on the ground, hand it to him and he'd smoke it, that man was the carpet surfing king.
Looking back at it what's funny is he couldve probably beat all our asses lol
We used to get him to smoke caterpillar spliffs, fish food spliffs, ladybug spliffs (when he smoked it you could hear the ladybugs popping), firecracker spliffs, cigarette filter spliffs. We used to light his boots on fire, shoot roman candles at him, practice any wrestling moves on him, use him as a combo dummy and send him downtown to panhandle all day then buy us discount beer. And some even worse shit I'm not even gonna say lol
This crackhead was so fucked up and got his ass whooped so bad he was impervious to being kicked in the nuts, it didn't hurt him. And he was such a fiend you could pick up anything white on the ground, hand it to him and he'd smoke it, that man was the carpet surfing king.
Looking back at it what's funny is he couldve probably beat all our asses lol
