The Joke Thread

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savage

savage

OG
#41
Feb 14, 2004
16,667
4,746
113
41
#41
An indian was standing on the corner when this woman on her way to work passed by. The Indian raises his hand in greeting, and says, "Chance!"

Everyday for a whole week, the same thing happened. As the woman would walk past, the Indian would raise his hand, and say, "Chance!"

Finally, she couldn't ignore it any longer, stops, and asks, "You're an Indian, aren't you?"

He nods.

She says, "I always thought Indians said 'How!'."

The Indian says, "Already know 'how'. Just want 'chance'."
 
deep6cixxx6

deep6cixxx6

Sicc OG
#42
May 4, 2007
885
388
0
41
www.myspace.com
#42
How do u castrate a hillbilly?
kicc his sister in the jaw.

A kid gets hit by a car in front of a church just as its letting out. a man sees the kid and runs over 2 comfort him. he tells the boy "you're gonna be fine, but would u like me 2 get the priest?" the boys replies "how can u think about sex at a time like this"

Whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus?
Only takes 1 nail 2 hang the picture.

Biker gets pulled over for speeding. when the officer approaches he informs him that he has 2 severed heads in one saddle bag and a sawed of shotgun in the other.
the officer calls 4 a supperior. when his boss arrives the cop fills him in on the situation. the boss walks 2 the man and say "my deputy says u got 2 severed heads and a sawed off shotgun in those saddle bags". the man says "yeah, i bet the sonuvabitch told u i was speeding 2!"
 
1God

1God

Sicc OG
#43
Feb 9, 2010
881
2
0
#43
What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
Pizzas don't scream in the oven.


Why is Stevie Wonder a bad driver?
'Cause he's black.
 
Irishmutt

Irishmutt

Sicc OG
#48
Mar 12, 2010
2,722
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#48
THERES A HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER AND HE IS NEARING THE END OF HIS SHIFT AND A GUY FLIES BY HIM. THE OFFICER FIRES UP HIS LIGHTS AND PULLS THE GUY OVER. NOT WANTING TO GIVE THE GUY A TICKET AT THE END OF HIS SHIFT THE OFFICER TELL HIM IF YOU CAN TELL ME A REASON FOR YOUR SPEEDING I WILL LET YOU GO. THE GUY LOOKS HIM IN THE EYE AND SAYS WELL MY WIFE LEFT ME THE OFFICER SAYS WELL WHATS THAT GOT TO DO WITH YOUR SPEEDING. THE GUY SAYS WELL SHE LEFT ME TO BE WITH A HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER. THE OFFICER SAYS WELL WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR SPEEDING THE GUY REPLIES WELL I THOUGHT YOU WERE BRINGING THE BITCH BACK
 
Irishmutt

Irishmutt

Sicc OG
#49
Mar 12, 2010
2,722
9
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#49
THIS GUY IS SWERVING ALL OVER THE ROAD AND HE IS COMING TO THE WINDY ROAD IN A MOUNTAIN PASS. AN OFFICER NOT WANTING TO SEE THIS GUY CRASH PULLS THE GUY OVER AND ASKS THE GUY IF HE HAS BEEN DRINKING. THE GUY SAYS YES. THE OFFICER ASKS THE GUY WELL DIDNT YOU SEE THE ARROWS. THE DRUNK GUY SAYS " HELL I DIDNT EVEN SEE THE INDIANS"
 
1God

1God

Sicc OG
#50
Feb 9, 2010
881
2
0
#50
This one guy was ready to go on a long business trip, so instead of letting his wife get lonely, he decided to go to a sex shop and buy her a toy. So he was looking around; he saw a dildo, but thought, that's too boring. Then he saw a doll, but thought, that might be too real. So he went up to the clerk and asked him if he has anything special.
The clerk said, "Well, I have something I'm not supposed to sell yet, but what's the harm in showing you?" That's when he pulled out a dildo and said, "I call this the Voodoo Dick."
"What the hell's a Voodoo Dick?" asked the man. "How does is work?"
"Simple," replied the clerk. "Watch this. Voodoo Dick, door knob!" And the Voodoo Dick rose up and flew into the door knob and started ramming it frantically. "Voodoo Dick, heal!" And the Dick immediately fell to the floor.
"I'll take it!" the man exclaimed.

So, about two weeks after living alone, the wife decided to pull the Voodoo Dick out of the box and try it out. So she said the magic words, "Voodoo Dick, my pussy." And the Dick rose up out of the box and into her vagina, fucking her, and making her climax multiple times. But after about 30 minutes, she was getting tired, so she tried pulling it out, but it just wouldn't stop fucking, and unfortunately, she didn't know what to say to make it stop. And it just kept ramming and ramming and tearing her cunt up. So she got up and ran to her car and started for the hospital.

On the freeway, she was in so much pain that she was speeding. And that's when a police car sopped her. When the cop came up to her, he asked, "Why were you speeding, ma'am?"
She replied, "Sir, you don't understand, I have a Voodoo Dick stuck in my vagina!"
The cop smirked and said, "Voodoo Dick my ass!"
 
B

BossRawToon

Sicc OG
#54
Feb 22, 2007
228
3
0
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#54
whats funnier than a dead baby?

a dead baby laying next to a kid with downsyndrome.


whats the difference between a bicycle and a black man?

a bicycle doesnt sing when u put a chain on it
 
1God

1God

Sicc OG
#55
Feb 9, 2010
881
2
0
#55
LMFAO! @ the bicycle joke.


What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her once.

What do you say to a woman with one black eye?
Nothing, she's a good listener.

What did the black woman get after having an abortion?
A check from Crime Stoppers.

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
 
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