JOKES......Who Has The Siccest Ones?

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SRD420

RAGE-REST-REPEAT
Oct 12, 2004
2,392
1,203
0
Minnesota
#62
Ok, lets see if I can remember this...

There's three guys... Shea, J.Colombo and I AM.
One day they decided to go get some pleasure from a prostitute.
So... first Shea walks in this room and comes out 5 minutes later with a HUGE smile on his face. J.Colombo and I AM ask, "So what did she do, what did she do?"
Shea happily replies, "She put a doughnut on my dick and ate it off."
So I AM, now very exicited, enters the room with the prostitute and 5 minutes later he comes out with a BIG smile on his face. Shea and J.Colombo ask, "So what did she do, what did she do?" I AM says, "Oh man, she put a doughnut on my dick and ate it off."
So now J.Colombo can barely wait to enter the room he's so excited! He enters the room and comes out 30 seconds later with a very very disappointing look on his face. Both Shea and I AM wonder what's wrong and ask, "So what did she do, what did she do?" And very sadly and quietly J.Colombo responds, "She told me to go buy a box of Cheerios."

Aww, poor Colombo :(
 

I AM

Some Random Asshole
Apr 25, 2002
21,001
86
48
#63
Ok, lets see if I can remember this...

There's three guys... Shea, J.Colombo and I AM.
One day they decided to go get some pleasure from a prostitute.
So... first Shea walks in this room and comes out 5 minutes later with a HUGE smile on his face. J.Colombo and I AM ask, "So what did she do, what did she do?"
Shea happily replies, "She put a doughnut on my dick and ate it off."
So I AM, now very exicited, enters the room with the prostitute and 5 minutes later he comes out with a BIG smile on his face. Shea and J.Colombo ask, "So what did she do, what did she do?" I AM says, "Oh man, she put a doughnut on my dick and ate it off."
So now J.Colombo can barely wait to enter the room he's so excited! He enters the room and comes out 30 seconds later with a very very disappointing look on his face. Both Shea and I AM wonder what's wrong and ask, "So what did she do, what did she do?" And very sadly and quietly J.Colombo responds, "She told me to go buy a box of Cheerios."

Aww, poor Colombo :(
LMFAO x 50,000

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice :siccness:
 
Mar 26, 2005
1,485
1
38
36
www.geocities.com
#64
A guy and his girlfriend comes from prom.The guy still lives with his parents till he move out. So they go in his room and his little brother is sleep on the bottom bunk.So the girl and guy start havin sex. He said to go faster say tomato and slower lettuce. So they start she say lettuce..........lettuce.............tomato.............tomato.............tomato..... lettuce..........stop.






The little brother wakes up and says can you guys stop making sandwiches up there you gettin mayonnaise all over me.
 
Aug 6, 2008
10,132
195
0
40
#65
This lady is giving birth to a baby.. the doctor completes the delivery, pulls the baby out and starts beating it senseless.

The mother screams, "What in God's name are you doing?!?"

The doctor says, "Oh I'm just fucking with you, the baby was already dead!".
A guy comes home from work and finds his girlfriend on their bed, crying.

He asks his girlfriend "what's wrong?"

She looks at him and says in disgust, "I know the truth about you..." she sobs and continues, "I know
you're a PEDOPHILE!"

The man walks up to her and hugs her, then he says "Honey, I'm so proud of you 'pedophile' is such a big word for a 10 year old."
Why did princess Diana cross the road?

Cus she wasn't wearing a seat belt
FUCKIN HILARIOUS
 
Jun 30, 2004
1,958
122
0
40
#67
While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said,

"Master, may I grant you one wish?"

Osama responded, "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything."

The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."

Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you." The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side. His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.
 
Sep 18, 2002
4,954
241
63
40
#69
Two rednecks walk into a restaurant, have a bite to eat and talk about their moonshine operation.



Suddenly a woman at a nearby table chokes on a sandwich and begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.



One of the rednecks looks at her and asks "Kin ya swaller?"



The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks "Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The redneck walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her panties and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again the redneck walks slowly back to his tale.

His friend says "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there "Hind Lick Maneuver" but I ain't niver seen nobody do it"
 
Nov 5, 2004
9,218
101
0
41
#73
The Jonas Brothers, NSync, and the Backstreet Boys are on top of the Empire State Building. They decide to have a contest: They're all gonna jump off the building, and whoever lands first wins.



Who wins?


























Who cares?
 
Nov 5, 2004
9,218
101
0
41
#76
Rofl.


How bout this...




What do you call one black man being followed through a field by thousands of white men?










wait for it...














wait....
















Tiger Woods.









Got em! lmao
 
Jun 11, 2004
2,296
1,405
0
#77
Once upon a time, long, long ago, there lived a beautiful woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch...
















But that was a long time ago and it was just that one day.
 
Jun 11, 2004
2,296
1,405
0
#79
There was a priest in a small Irish village who loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.

He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?'

All the men stood up.

'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'

All the women stood up.

'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?'

Half the women stood up.

'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'

Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.. The priest fainted.
 
Jan 18, 2008
7,756
2,745
0
44
Rip City
#80
How do you get pikachu onto the bus?
you pokemon

why dont you take pokemon into the bathroom?
he might pikachu

why did captain kirk look into the toilet?
he wanted to see the captains log

theres some elementry jokes for you. lol