FUNNY SKRIP CLUB STORIES

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saladbowlking

saladbowlking

Sicc OG
#1
Mar 25, 2005
3,801
2,000
113
#1
I WAS IN MEX A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO AT THIS SPOT CHOPPING IT UP WITH ONE OF THE HOTTEST BITCHES IN THE SPOT THAT NIGHT...I KNEW SOMETHING WASNT RIGHT WHEN I NOTICED SHE WAS COVERED UP MORE THEN USUAL FOR A BITCH AT A STRIP CLUB...SO SHE STARTS TELLING ME HOW SHE JUST HAD A KID 2 MONTHS AGO AND HOW SHE WANTS TO TRY TO GET HER BODY BACK IN SHAPE AND IM TELLING HERE SHE DONT NEED TO DO MUCH CUZ SHE WAS OFF THE HOOK ALREADY.SO AFTER MORE BULLSHITTING SHE ALL OF A SUDDEN GOT SEXY ON ME, STARTED RIDING ON MY LAP LOOKING INTO MY EYES N SHIT...SO SHE PULLS DOWN HER TOP AND STARTS RUBBING HER NIPPLE FOR A MIN...THE NEXT THING I KNOW THIS BITCH PROCEEDED TO SQUEEZE MILK OUT HERE TITTY LIKE THAT SHIT WAS SEXY! I WAS LIKE WTF!!!! I WAS SO FUCKED UP I THREW THE BITCH OFF OF ME AND STARTED LAFFIN UNCONTROLABLY FOR ALONG ASS TIME..MY BOSSES THOUGHT I WAS ON SOMETHIN TIL I TOLD THEM WHAT WAS UP THE NEXT DAY......I KNOW SOME OF YOU FUCKS HAVE SEEN SOME WILD SHIT WHATS CRACKIN????
 
R

R

Sicc OG
#3
Dec 7, 2005
7,629
1,807
113
34
#3
man i was at this strip club in the vip and the stripper was about to suck my dick.. all of a sudden i hear 'MAX B MAX B MAX B !!' coming from the peasant's section of the club, so i ran out of the vip to see what the problem was cos maybe MAX B was having a fight.. As I walked into the regular part of the club I saw a stripper rubbing her pussy and people were shouting "MAX B MAX B" at her.. I was just standing there thinkin WTF?! THIS AINT MAX B WTF??
 
leftcoast415

leftcoast415

Sicc OG
#4
Feb 16, 2006
1,384
6
38
www.thebayisback.com
#4
Went to one in mexico a few years ago...it was cool..... except a cockroach ran across the stage and jumped off and disappeared under the table I was sitting at.


Not funny.....but the last time I went....i wasn't trying to spend money, just wanted to see some titties.... and this one chick was trying hella hard to get me to get a lap dance from her....i kept saying no so the bitch bit my face. The fuck kinda shit is that?
 
onmeshow

onmeshow

Sicc OG
#5
Mar 20, 2007
1,021
1
0
35
#5
Handsworth4Life said:
man i was at this strip club in the vip and the stripper was about to suck my dick.. all of a sudden i hear 'MAX B MAX B MAX B !!' coming from the peasant's section of the club, so i ran out of the vip to see what the problem was cos maybe MAX B was having a fight.. As I walked into the regular part of the club I saw a stripper rubbing her pussy and people were shouting "MAX B MAX B" at her.. I was just standing there thinkin WTF?! THIS AINT MAX B WTF??
Click to expand...
LMAO
 
mrtonguetwista

mrtonguetwista

$$ Deep Pockets $$
#6
Feb 6, 2003
23,473
7,035
0
81
#6
saladbowlking said:
I WAS IN MEX A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO AT THIS SPOT CHOPPING IT UP WITH ONE OF THE HOTTEST BITCHES IN THE SPOT THAT NIGHT...I KNEW SOMETHING WASNT RIGHT WHEN I NOTICED SHE WAS COVERED UP MORE THEN USUAL FOR A BITCH AT A STRIP CLUB...SO SHE STARTS TELLING ME HOW SHE JUST HAD A KID 2 MONTHS AGO AND HOW SHE WANTS TO TRY TO GET HER BODY BACK IN SHAPE AND IM TELLING HERE SHE DONT NEED TO DO MUCH CUZ SHE WAS OFF THE HOOK ALREADY.SO AFTER MORE BULLSHITTING SHE ALL OF A SUDDEN GOT SEXY ON ME, STARTED RIDING ON MY LAP LOOKING INTO MY EYES N SHIT...SO SHE PULLS DOWN HER TOP AND STARTS RUBBING HER NIPPLE FOR A MIN...THE NEXT THING I KNOW THIS BITCH PROCEEDED TO SQUEEZE MILK OUT HERE TITTY LIKE THAT SHIT WAS SEXY! I WAS LIKE WTF!!!! I WAS SO FUCKED UP I THREW THE BITCH OFF OF ME AND STARTED LAFFIN UNCONTROLABLY FOR ALONG ASS TIME..MY BOSSES THOUGHT I WAS ON SOMETHIN TIL I TOLD THEM WHAT WAS UP THE NEXT DAY......I KNOW SOME OF YOU FUCKS HAVE SEEN SOME WILD SHIT WHATS CRACKIN????
Click to expand...
Name and location please...I wouldnt mind using my Orbitz to go there this summer.
 
POLTERGEIST

POLTERGEIST

Sicc OG
#7
Sep 18, 2002
4,951
237
0
38
#7
i was in mitchell brothers for the first time this weekend. no real stories but sum asian stripper said to me "im going to cut the bullshit and get straight to the point...i will suck ur dick for $240" i laughed in that bitches face. another one was trying hella hard for me to pay for a dance and unzipped my pants and played with my cock a little bit....im not paying no bitch $240 to gimme head..
 
NiNe2FiVe

NiNe2FiVe

Sicc OG
#8
Apr 26, 2003
10,869
16,112
0
60
East Oakland, USA
#8
Ive been to quite a few strip clubs in my time but my favorite story is when I first went to The Crazy Horse on Market when I was 17. My two friends and I take BART out to the city, get in and take a seat in the 2nd row, we didnt know no better and we actually got there at about 5pm with the "AM Crew" lol. So were hangin out watching some too skinny ho on stage, when this beast hobbles over to us and puts its hoof on the seat next two one of my friends, her (I assume it was a female) belly is hangin about 4 3/4 inches over her bikini bottoms, terrible boob job, but the funniest feature was this fresh botox job on her upper lip which was hangin over her bottom lip down to her chin...So shes talking to my friends and ends up giving me the dirtiest look ive ever got from a female, which is when I notice a brown/yellow stain on her pussu about the size of a silver dollar, lol. She gives me this dirty look again, and I say "What the fuck are you lookin at with that floppy ass lip, and piss stain, bitch" She didnt get mad, she didnt call the bouncer, she looked down at her stain and started crying, balling to be honest, she slowly walked to the back, and popped out about 5 minutes later in her street clothes and bag, and left, still crying, and needless to say, I felt great about myself...lol.
 
jr916

jr916

Sicc OG
#9
Jun 3, 2006
11,502
51
0
44
#9
me na d 2 of my folks fucked this stripper and left her at the motel 6 on hillsdale, we said we were goin to get sum powder and one of us would leave, and then the next person would say "im goin to find this fool" and we bounced

this one broad, kept pesterin me all night for a lap dance, so i asked her to bring me two pitchers of beer and i poured em on her....the bouncers kicked us all out and said we cant treat the girls like that, they just tryin to make a livin
 
N

NorthBay 415

Sicc OG
#12
Nov 8, 2007
3,045
188
63
33
#12
I WAS AT A STRIP CLUB ALSO YESTADAY FO DA FIRST TIME ON BROADWAY IN SF N DIS BITCH WAS TRYNA TALK TO ME N TRIED YO GIVE ME A TOUR N I WAS KOO OFF ALL DAT WASNT TRYNA SPEND

IT AINT FUNNY BUT THOUGHT ID SHARE
 
jr916

jr916

Sicc OG
#13
Jun 3, 2006
11,502
51
0
44
#13
chopacidal said:
last time i went, my brothers friend bit a stripped on the shoulder

fortunately the night was nearing its end, so that little incident didn't fuck the night up

::
Click to expand...
lmao.....when i turned 18 a bunch of my folks took me to a strip club for the first time, and they was payin for me to get lap dances and shit, i told this broad her lotion on her shoulders smelle good and she told me to start kissin her neck and shoulder
 
mrtonguetwista

mrtonguetwista

$$ Deep Pockets $$
#16
Feb 6, 2003
23,473
7,035
0
81
#16
TAMPA, Fla. (AP) — There's Lip Stixx and Centerfolds and the Bliss Cabaret.

There's Diamond Dolls and Bare Assets and the Wild Gentlemen's Club. In fact, there are, by one count, 43 strip clubs in the Tampa metropolitan area — one for each Super Bowl. And the week of Super Bowl XLIII is to Tampa's naughty nightlife what Black Friday is to America's shopping malls.

All the exotic dancing joints have earned Tampa a bawdy reputation — the lads' magazine Maxim even put it on its top 10 list of best U.S. party cities a couple years ago, based mostly on the two score and more night spots to see naked or nearly naked women.

Now, with at least one spot planning to have a tent in the parking lot to handle the overflow of free-spending tourists, locals expect to profit mightily through kickoff Sunday evening.

"Based on what we did last Super Bowl (in 2001), the numbers will quadruple during that weekend," says Nick Polefrone, general manager of 2001 Odyssey, a landmark club known for the spaceship-shaped VIP room rising from the top of the building.

Across the street is Mons Venus, a joint that is listed among the best strip clubs in the world by users of a Web site called The Ultimate Strip Club List. The two upscale clubs — walking distance from Raymond James Stadium, where the Arizona Cardinals will play the Pittsburgh Steelers — have been fixtures for decades. Polefrone figures Tampa's naughty national image grew out from there.

"Tampa has a reputation for having the most strip clubs and the most girls who are a lot of fun," says a 25-year-old exotic dancer named Claudia, who left her usual gig in Las Vegas to work the Super Bowl week here. (She asked that her last name not be used to save her family any embarrassment.)

Claudia says she's worked four previous Super Bowls and expects to make as much as $2,000 a day performing at 2001 Odyssey. Most clubs treat the dancers as independent contractors who pay a flat fee to the house and keep the rest.

"It's so crazy, everybody is in a such a party mood," she says. "It's a whole new level of everything."

The clubs have been busy auditioning more dancers and upgrading their interiors. Some will stay open 24 hours.
 
mrtonguetwista

mrtonguetwista

$$ Deep Pockets $$
#17
Feb 6, 2003
23,473
7,035
0
81
#17
AKRON, Ohio — A northeast Ohio man who was smacked in the nose by a stripper's platform-style shoe is suing a nightclub for $25,000 over injuries he says will require surgery.

Yusuf Evans says in a lawsuit filed Tuesday that he was seated near the stage at the XTC nightclub in Akron last year while a stripper nicknamed "Tiara" performed her routine.

Evans says demonstrative kick caused the stripper's 1970s-style thick-heeled shoe to fly from her foot and into his face. He says he's had trouble breathing ever since.

Evans' lawsuit in Summit County Common Pleas Court says XTC management allowed dancers to wear improper attire and required strippers to perform dances that made the stage "a hazardous area."

Evans says he doesn't normally frequent strip clubs, but made an exception when a cousin visited.

Calls to the club seeking comment went unanswered Wednesday night.
 
tomasjose415

tomasjose415

Banned
#18
Feb 23, 2008
1,462
0
0
34
#18
leftcoast415 said:
Went to one in mexico a few years ago...it was cool..... except a cockroach ran across the stage and jumped off and disappeared under the table I was sitting at.


Not funny.....but the last time I went....i wasn't trying to spend money, just wanted to see some titties.... and this one chick was trying hella hard to get me to get a lap dance from her....i kept saying no so the bitch bit my face. The fuck kinda shit is that?
Click to expand...
she a nasty animal bitch
 
DFresh77

DFresh77

Sicc OG
#19
Dec 4, 2006
17,451
7,542
113
47
#19
I got booted out of Little Darlings in the city for calling a few of those sluts "Pole whore's" ...

It's funny when you pull out a wad of cash in front of their faces tho, them bitches become your "instant friends" on the spot and shit..

I pull the money out, put it back in my pocket and just talk to the ho's. Call them names and make fun of their career and how they carry themselves in there and off the streets..

Oh and Pinky was a cheap whore when she used to work at Market Street Cinema, for a pill or two the bitch would suck your dick and for like 4 pills she would give up the booty. The question is did me and a few of my boys hit those? HELL YEAH WE DID...haha
 
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