Dumbest Drunk Shit You've Heard?
- Thread starter GottaGo
- Start date
I'll tell a story about myself to protect the guilty. I have friends that have done shit that's so stupid they'd be emabarassed if I said it.
So this was on New Years like 4 or 5 years ago. So Im chilling with this girl Im seeing and I ain't have no treez. Most of the time I do dumb shit is when Im out of treez and try to drink hella much to compensate. So Im making hurricane and we're gonna watch the apple drop on tv. This is my first time drinking hurricane and I just got drunk out my damn mind. So time goes by and it's after midnight and the girl wants me to take her home. Like I said I was drunk out my mind and she was pretty dumb for asking me to drive her home since she's sober. So we go to my car and Im so drunk I can't even open the door with my keys. I couldn't even get my key in the key hole. So she starts asking me what's up. I guess I got hella pissed and threw my keys at her hella close range. So she got upset and started crying and ran home. But atleast I didn't kill her.
So this was on New Years like 4 or 5 years ago. So Im chilling with this girl Im seeing and I ain't have no treez. Most of the time I do dumb shit is when Im out of treez and try to drink hella much to compensate. So Im making hurricane and we're gonna watch the apple drop on tv. This is my first time drinking hurricane and I just got drunk out my damn mind. So time goes by and it's after midnight and the girl wants me to take her home. Like I said I was drunk out my mind and she was pretty dumb for asking me to drive her home since she's sober. So we go to my car and Im so drunk I can't even open the door with my keys. I couldn't even get my key in the key hole. So she starts asking me what's up. I guess I got hella pissed and threw my keys at her hella close range. So she got upset and started crying and ran home. But atleast I didn't kill her.
"I love that one dude from that group spice 1 that goes "BLAAH!"
"Everybody LIKES your vega, everybody likes your vega"
"So like, Los Angeles ISNT the capital of California?" (said by a chick from laguna beach, goes to cal poly)
"You have to cross an ocean to get to France?" (same girl as before)
my personal favorite, cuz how the hell would anyone find this out? Do they have scientists testing humans for this?
edit: by the way, none of this was said by drunk people
"Guys get only 1000 boners in their lifetime."
"Everybody LIKES your vega, everybody likes your vega"
"So like, Los Angeles ISNT the capital of California?" (said by a chick from laguna beach, goes to cal poly)
"You have to cross an ocean to get to France?" (same girl as before)
my personal favorite, cuz how the hell would anyone find this out? Do they have scientists testing humans for this?
edit: by the way, none of this was said by drunk people
"Guys get only 1000 boners in their lifetime."
Ah got a recent one, this drunk guy was irritating a lot of people and no one was doin anythin about it, so I provoked him, told him to take it down a notch plz ur not doin yourself any favors and so on...
And he came up to me, and said 'You must think I'm a wanker' I said 'no, but I think you're very drunk' then he says in a real threatening way 'I know Fela Kuti, and I know (random artists I've never heard of, mick Jones or somethin)..'
I was like 'mate, Fela Kuti's dead'
him: (shocked or caught like a fish, maybe both) 'oh?'
he walks backwards away from me, and trips on a bollard n falls over infront of everyone. Picks himself up and fucks off.
fuckin wierd, dumb and pointless. Dunno what he was tryna prove.
And he came up to me, and said 'You must think I'm a wanker' I said 'no, but I think you're very drunk' then he says in a real threatening way 'I know Fela Kuti, and I know (random artists I've never heard of, mick Jones or somethin)..'
I was like 'mate, Fela Kuti's dead'
him: (shocked or caught like a fish, maybe both) 'oh?'
he walks backwards away from me, and trips on a bollard n falls over infront of everyone. Picks himself up and fucks off.
fuckin wierd, dumb and pointless. Dunno what he was tryna prove.
