Local rap star "Cyco Eva" waits 17 minutes inside a McDonald's.
August 22nd 2009
San Jose Mercury News, San Jose,CA
—Upon being informed by a McDonald's cashier that the lunch menu would not be available until 11 a.m., restaurant patron Eva Maria Flowers who also goes by the nicknames "Hey Bitch" "Whorebag" and "Cyco Eva" elected to wait 17 minutes inside the fast food establishment Saturday until the items she ordered would be served.
"There aren't any other stores or anything that I like around here, so I figured I would just wait," said Flowers, who typically frequents the McDonald's inside the Walmart on Story Road, but chose to stop at the Saratoga location because of its proximity to her nail salon. "The girl at the counter said I could still get breakfast if I wanted, but 10:43's too late for breakfast."
Added Flowers, "I want lunch."
The 34-year-old explained that she had already eaten breakfast earlier that morning, when she and her sister, Lynda, also known as "Bitch", went to Carrows off Hamilton in Campbell. Flowers said she was not aware of the lunch-serving policy at this particular McDonald's.
"They said they start [serving lunch] at 11 on weekends and 10:30 on weekdays," Flowers told reporters. "The one inside Walmart does it earlier, so I guess it's different at different McDonald's. It should probably be the same, but it's different."
According to restaurant employees, when Flowers entered the establishment, she proceeded to order a No. 3 value meal with extra pickles and a large Sprite. After they told her that lunch was not available until 11 a.m., Flowers reportedly stood in silence for a few seconds, backed away from the cash register, and made her way to the seating area.
"Before I ordered, I saw that the breakfast menu was up," Flowers noted. "But sometimes they forget to switch the menu if you get there right when breakfast ends. Also, if it's close, they'll usually serve you lunch anyways. I guess they don't do that here. They might have recognized me from my myspace page, and they may be making me wait longer so they have a chance to stare at me."
After dispensing several napkins and filling two ketchup containers, Flowers selected a booth with a view of the menu board. She then sat for approximately one minute before glancing at her cellphone and returning to the condiment counter to fill another ketchup container.
By 10:53 a.m., Flowers had begun slowly walking around the restaurant's perimeter, perusing the various decorative paintings hanging on the walls. She also examined a plaque featuring a brief description of the restaurant and its founder, even though she had previously read the exact same inscription on an identical plaque inside the Story Road Walmart-McDonald's location.
At one point, Flowers accidentally entered the men's restroom. She then said she was "just kidding" and went into the women's restroom. She later acknowledged that this restroom trip was used mainly to urinate as she is a tad bit constipated.
She insisted that her constipation is from the black tar heroin she takes for her pain management, and not from getting fucked in the ass by multiple dudes in a 24 hour period.
"It's already getting pretty close to 11, so maybe you guys should, like, go away once I get my lunch, cause I got the demons of hell waiting to break free from the BlackHole" Flowers said.
As she waited, Flowers expressed her commitment to ordering lunch, stating that she would not, under any circumstance, be ordering breakfast since she would still be passed out with a needle in her arm in a BART station bathroom.
"Those Egg McMuffin things with syrup inside the bun are pretty good, and the pancakes are alright, but I'm in the mood for something more salty, like a burger," said Flowers, who when spotted moments later eating a hash brown explained that she "needed something to tide her over", and that "hash browns are basically the same french fries."
With five minutes to go before lunch, Flowers began standing in line, allowing customers to proceed ahead of her if they confirmed they were ordering breakfast. She repeatedly peered out at patrons in the drive-thru, apparently to make certain they were not being served lunch.
"There shouldn't be any difference between the drive-thru and when you go inside, I only eat twice a week anyways" she said.
According to Flowers, she has been in this position many times before, though mostly at Burger King off Hegenburger in Oakland—a fast food establishment she said isn't very good at making it clear when or if they ever stop serving breakfast.
"My current pimp usually orders the chicken fries or a chicken sandwich at that Burger King. There's not a lot of options on that menu. JJ's Fish actually has the best tasting chicken...but Tyrone said if i fuck around and eyeball another cashier he gonna beat me blind" She squints her swollen eye to focus and tries to write a text message on her phone.
"I just hope that when the lunch menu goes up they're ready to serve everything," Flowers said. "They should have the fries and the McNuggets already cooked because people are definitely going to order them when they order lunch. You can usually order Sprite with breakfast, so that shouldn't be an issue."
Continued Flowers,
"I wonder if the girl will remember my extra pickles or if I'll have to order it all over again...Hey, I just spent my last $5 and I need $20 more to cop some shit..You lookin for a date?"
San Jose Mercury News received this by email and have not heard from our reporter since, although he has been spotted at Motel 6 in Vallejo and in the Tenderloin of San Francisco. If you have seen Michael Atkins please contact San Jose Police (408)894-7514
August 22nd 2009
San Jose Mercury News, San Jose,CA
—Upon being informed by a McDonald's cashier that the lunch menu would not be available until 11 a.m., restaurant patron Eva Maria Flowers who also goes by the nicknames "Hey Bitch" "Whorebag" and "Cyco Eva" elected to wait 17 minutes inside the fast food establishment Saturday until the items she ordered would be served.
"There aren't any other stores or anything that I like around here, so I figured I would just wait," said Flowers, who typically frequents the McDonald's inside the Walmart on Story Road, but chose to stop at the Saratoga location because of its proximity to her nail salon. "The girl at the counter said I could still get breakfast if I wanted, but 10:43's too late for breakfast."
Added Flowers, "I want lunch."
The 34-year-old explained that she had already eaten breakfast earlier that morning, when she and her sister, Lynda, also known as "Bitch", went to Carrows off Hamilton in Campbell. Flowers said she was not aware of the lunch-serving policy at this particular McDonald's.
"They said they start [serving lunch] at 11 on weekends and 10:30 on weekdays," Flowers told reporters. "The one inside Walmart does it earlier, so I guess it's different at different McDonald's. It should probably be the same, but it's different."
According to restaurant employees, when Flowers entered the establishment, she proceeded to order a No. 3 value meal with extra pickles and a large Sprite. After they told her that lunch was not available until 11 a.m., Flowers reportedly stood in silence for a few seconds, backed away from the cash register, and made her way to the seating area.
"Before I ordered, I saw that the breakfast menu was up," Flowers noted. "But sometimes they forget to switch the menu if you get there right when breakfast ends. Also, if it's close, they'll usually serve you lunch anyways. I guess they don't do that here. They might have recognized me from my myspace page, and they may be making me wait longer so they have a chance to stare at me."
After dispensing several napkins and filling two ketchup containers, Flowers selected a booth with a view of the menu board. She then sat for approximately one minute before glancing at her cellphone and returning to the condiment counter to fill another ketchup container.
By 10:53 a.m., Flowers had begun slowly walking around the restaurant's perimeter, perusing the various decorative paintings hanging on the walls. She also examined a plaque featuring a brief description of the restaurant and its founder, even though she had previously read the exact same inscription on an identical plaque inside the Story Road Walmart-McDonald's location.
At one point, Flowers accidentally entered the men's restroom. She then said she was "just kidding" and went into the women's restroom. She later acknowledged that this restroom trip was used mainly to urinate as she is a tad bit constipated.
She insisted that her constipation is from the black tar heroin she takes for her pain management, and not from getting fucked in the ass by multiple dudes in a 24 hour period.
"It's already getting pretty close to 11, so maybe you guys should, like, go away once I get my lunch, cause I got the demons of hell waiting to break free from the BlackHole" Flowers said.
As she waited, Flowers expressed her commitment to ordering lunch, stating that she would not, under any circumstance, be ordering breakfast since she would still be passed out with a needle in her arm in a BART station bathroom.
"Those Egg McMuffin things with syrup inside the bun are pretty good, and the pancakes are alright, but I'm in the mood for something more salty, like a burger," said Flowers, who when spotted moments later eating a hash brown explained that she "needed something to tide her over", and that "hash browns are basically the same french fries."
With five minutes to go before lunch, Flowers began standing in line, allowing customers to proceed ahead of her if they confirmed they were ordering breakfast. She repeatedly peered out at patrons in the drive-thru, apparently to make certain they were not being served lunch.
"There shouldn't be any difference between the drive-thru and when you go inside, I only eat twice a week anyways" she said.
According to Flowers, she has been in this position many times before, though mostly at Burger King off Hegenburger in Oakland—a fast food establishment she said isn't very good at making it clear when or if they ever stop serving breakfast.
"My current pimp usually orders the chicken fries or a chicken sandwich at that Burger King. There's not a lot of options on that menu. JJ's Fish actually has the best tasting chicken...but Tyrone said if i fuck around and eyeball another cashier he gonna beat me blind" She squints her swollen eye to focus and tries to write a text message on her phone.
"I just hope that when the lunch menu goes up they're ready to serve everything," Flowers said. "They should have the fries and the McNuggets already cooked because people are definitely going to order them when they order lunch. You can usually order Sprite with breakfast, so that shouldn't be an issue."
Continued Flowers,
"I wonder if the girl will remember my extra pickles or if I'll have to order it all over again...Hey, I just spent my last $5 and I need $20 more to cop some shit..You lookin for a date?"
San Jose Mercury News received this by email and have not heard from our reporter since, although he has been spotted at Motel 6 in Vallejo and in the Tenderloin of San Francisco. If you have seen Michael Atkins please contact San Jose Police (408)894-7514
