Annual Stella Awards

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Jul 20, 2002
3,603
5
0
#1
Only in the good ole USA can this happen. No wonder everyone is trying

to get here.

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards.

The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled

coffee on herself and Successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired

the 'Stella Awards' for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the

United States.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:

5th Place (Tied)

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of

her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was

running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were

understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving

toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (Tied)

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses

when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.Truman

apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when

he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th Place (Tied)

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had

just finished robbing by way of the garage.

He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door

opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the

door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The

family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the

garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large

bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the

situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune

of $500,000.

4th Place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical

expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's

Beagle dog. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The

award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been

a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the

fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,

Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her

coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had

thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2nd Place

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a

neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and

knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was

trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the

$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place!!!!!

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,

Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On

his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway,

he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to

go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the

RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued

Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not

actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago

Motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of

this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their

recreational vehicles.
 
Jun 27, 2002
14,469
137
63
#3
I'm suing 91siccness.net and all affiliated....there werent any disclaimers stating that the site could be addicitive and when it goes down I'll slump into a deep depression with thoughts of suicide and homicide....i killed 5 cats when it went down for the weekend and cut myself up pretty bad with a razor...

i swear if it goes down again im going to kill each and every siccness member one by one so they no longer exist and i wont have this problem