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Jehovah's witnesses can be terribly bothersome. Especially when you're in the middle of an important task, like masturbating, or feeding your dead to the pigs locked in the basement (believe me, its the best way to dispose of evidence). But, just because these fundamentalist assholes are...

I hate some things alot of the time. But I do love myself. Never did before...I just hated everything all of the time...but I changed..thanks to a murderer doing life. I was misguided, dysfunctional, eternally angry and full of self sorrow/pity. My Father was trying to run with the bikers and...

We all have that one moment in our life that we wish we could go back and change, that one incident that freezes time. People stare, mothers cover their children's eyes and ears as if to block the echoing instant. Things are dropped along with jaws on the ground and you go from being another...

Hello my people. In today's society everyone is so bent out of shape over meaningless things such as breathing and getting that Firebird because your buddy just got a Trans Am and if you don't hurry he's gonna be getting all the tail while you sit in your Neon Saturn in the driveway, ashamed to...

also known as "How to jack off in the shower Volume 1" Aquatic Auto-Erotica, or jerking off in the shower, as it's most commonly referred to, is not as simple a task as one would be led to believe. It takes a measure of skill, and personal discipline to sucessfully jerk off in the shower. This...

It was one night, many moons ago that I pondered why drugs continues to be such a big problem in our time. Drug abuse and drug related crimes have skyrocketed since the eighties, not alone in the USA but also here in my small wonderfull country, Holland. The truth hit me like a train hitting a...

Her name was Astrella, and she came from France. The year was 1996, and I was a sophomore in high school. She wasn't the hottest girl in the school, definately the hottest girl in class, and had without a doubt the nicest, biggest set of bazoombas I had seen all year. She may have been 17 years...

Throughout the six hundred year history of professional wrestling, nobody has captivated worldwide cable television crowds with the same unique combination of style and finesse as Sergeant Slaughter. Nobody that is, except for Jake "The Snake" Roberts. Jake is most widely known for becoming...

Everyone has that one embarrassing story.......here is mine So a couple of years I go to visit my aunt for a couple of months. A week before I go, my girlfriend at the time says that while I am gone she doesn't want me to cheat on her so she bought me a Pocket Pussy. I look at her with a tear...

After all the brainlessness that I have been forced to deal with working in customer service, I've often wondered, have I been THAT customer? The customer that irritated the shit out of all the employees? The one that they were still talking about hours or even days after our brief interaction...

Let me set the scene for you sicc people. I was at the ripe old age of 20 and my friends and I had headed down to California for the Rose Bowl. It would be four fun filled days of days of drinking and hanging out with friends who I had not seen in awhile. The hotel we were staying at was having...

I think all of us find in the course of our lives that that one person comes along that make us hornier than anyone. Commonly referred to as the 'soul mate', this person becomes in most cases the one we fuck on a regular basis; that is if we disregard those meaningless times with those random...

You stand there, eyes fixed on all the different varieties. So many choices. Your mind is screaming to make a decision. "Should I get the Lubricated ones? Or should I go for the ribbed ones, for her pleasure? Trojan or Durex? Ultra Thin? Large? Nah, that might look like a pool cover over a...

wheres homeboy go...aint seen em post in a minute

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Ok, what the fuck is up with the toilet paper at the BART stations....I got to take a shit there an when i needed to wipe my ass i reached for some TP, and they got these damn 2"x2" little individual squares of like 1 ply TP, the Tp in jail is better then this stuff...its not even on a roll, it...

Let me preface this post by saying that I am not a man who thinks "potty humor" is the "be all end all" of what is funny. "Potty humor," or "dick and fart jokes," is not my bread and butter (a ridiculous phrase) but it does have its own important rung on the ladder of comedy...a lower rung, but...

Enjoy that green lovin

Eddie slid the little plastic gun back under his closet's shoe rack. He had spent the last half-hour once again pretending to want to commit suicide. The pot didn't help either, his blue eyes now redder than ever. "Fuck," he muttered to himself, "Saturdays are boring as fuck." His tall...

Some of you know that I am originally from California but have been exiled on the east coast, Pennsylvania to be exact for years. When I moved to PA I had never seen snow except for pictures etc. The following occurred my first winter in Pa., over the course of just 2 days. The first time...