Yeah, still working the night shift, same place, for so long I don't even remember how long I've been doing this fucking job. I think it's been 8 years but it might even be 9, and like 6-7 is just at this same building. Christmas came around so I saw family, and they've gotten to the point where they don't really ask those questions that sink in anymore like "Where are you working now? What do you have going on?", those life questions basically like What are you doing with your life? Have you grown up yet? That used to bug me because I know I've just been stuck in a holding pattern and it doesn't make me feel very good; but it's actually worse when people have realized that and they don't ask anymore. So I had that stuck in my head after working for pretty much two months straight with maybe 5 days off total, not really having much money to show for it when it was all said and done. Not grown man, responsible adult money at least. Then New Years is a time for resolutions and change and that's kind of the mood recently. Getting beyond this
Anyway, just cancelled my dentist appointment. I need two crowns and those are pretty expensive. I think even after they completely max out my yearly dental insurance benefit limit i'll still have to pay like , $900? So have held on for money for that, but I want to get out of this place I'm renting by the end of February when the lease expires and that might include saving up First and Last months rent, plus deposit, which would be like anywhere between $1600-2400 or some shit. I was in this mind-frame like I have to choose between one or the other, but then I called my long time friends brother, who I consider my brother as well.
A long time ago I was visiting his house and he stated he'd be open to me possibly moving in. I brought it up just moments ago and told him I'm weighing my options and looking into new places and if he was still open to it; told me to stop by on the weekend and check it out again. He just bought a huge exercise equipment machine so one of the rooms is taken up, there's a small office, but honestly all i need is room for a new Full size bed and a large dresser, i dont own much.
So it's kind of relieving and I'm feeling pretty good. That was one huge weight off my shoulders. I'll talk to him about our expectations and see if it can work, but I'm pretty positive it will work. I'm kind of curious as to what his vision of us living together would be. Mine is kind of one where we wouldn't be seeing each other much just by the design of our work schedules, and while I'll want to be paying some kind of rent and contributing so it's not a drain financially (not that it would matter he makes 120-150k/yr? and easily a quarter million in the bank I think), I also want to contribute what I've learned over this whole weight loss shit and offer support. Maybe increase the amount I cook too. I've also had these visions of meal-prepping for both of us. I've really wanted to transition to healthy cooking and cooking with whole fresh ingredients because it's cheaper, but really sucks for just one person eating very little. You end up making a huge thing of something then having to eat it for like 12 meals, and I like variety. I could cook whole chickens then divide up the meat portions and cook the carcass into stocks and it'd actually be worht it with someone else eating it too
Damn this has gone on awhile and I kinda went off on a tangent there at the end lol
Anyway.... even though I've long suspected you were a psychic vampire and go through periods of ignoring you and being verbally abusive, I've seen the side of you that's bright, thoughtful, articulate, funny, and passionate for your beliefs and for those you care about and don't want you to hurt yourself; don't be ridiculous
