Originally Posted by candii00
Yes, he died yesterday. Dad came home to find police here and they told him that he'd already passed. He wasn't allowed up. We don't know how long he'd been gone. Thank you for the nice things that you said about that. He really was a riot.
I hope that nobody ever has to go through something like this. It is not easy. It is very difficult to understand. However, I'll share what I've gathered so far in the hopes that maybe it will help someone else out.
He suffered from bipolarism and depression (both of which may be hereditary). They are illnesses that somehow affect the mind. There are a few theories as to how. One of which has to do with neurological signals being dull or ineffective. He didn't usually have situational "triggers". He loved his life, his friends, and his family. Despite that love and despite fear of the unknown and afterlife, he had a compulsion to die. This compulsion didn't make sense to him (as it doesn't to most people) but it was still very strong. His Highs were very high and then would swing extremely, suicidally, low for no apparent reason.
His attempts and threats were exhausting, even to me. But it's part of the illness. The only reason they were "attempts" is because he had been caught before succeeding.
This illness was like a cancer in that the neurological control that we have over our choice to live, he did not have. This illness ate away at him everyday and everynight. He saw the good in his life and the friendships and love, and battled with this insane illness as best he could, but he didn't win. He didn't just give up. It won. Even up until the end, he still tried to reach out (which is one of the few ways we know how to fight this poorly understood disease), but it won. To those that tried to fight this exhausting battle with us, we thank you. Thank you for helping to extend our time with him. We tried... so hard. I'm so sorry. But, thank you for all that you did do.
Sincerely,
Rosalind Biggs (big sister)
ps: i only signed on the explain and thank and i will put the final arrangements that we make on this site if anyone is interested. I can't respond to pms, comments, or anything else, though. Sorry.