The First Time You got HEAD
- Thread starter ChasinMoneyRep
- Start date
A woman goes to the supermarket. She starts walking up and
down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her
head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch.
After doing this a number of times a man approaches her and
ask if she is having a problem. She tells him no. He says that he would like to know what she is doing at the
beginning of each aisle. She says she is trying to remember her grocery list.
He seems puzzled and asks for an explanation, so she goes
thru the motions again.
She touches her head and says, “Head of lettuce.”
Ears: “Two ears of corn.”
Breasts: “Two chicken breasts.”
Crotch: “Fantastic.”
down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her
head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch.
After doing this a number of times a man approaches her and
ask if she is having a problem. She tells him no. He says that he would like to know what she is doing at the
beginning of each aisle. She says she is trying to remember her grocery list.
He seems puzzled and asks for an explanation, so she goes
thru the motions again.
She touches her head and says, “Head of lettuce.”
Ears: “Two ears of corn.”
Breasts: “Two chicken breasts.”
Crotch: “Fantastic.”
There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head.
The shop assisant said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
He said to his manager, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"
The boy replied, "Minnesota sir."
"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota" asked the manager.
The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there."
"Really?," replied the manager, "My wife is from Minnesota!!"
The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"
The shop assisant said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
He said to his manager, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"
The boy replied, "Minnesota sir."
"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota" asked the manager.
The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there."
"Really?," replied the manager, "My wife is from Minnesota!!"
The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"
Seamus was about to go on his first date, so he asked his brother, the ladies man, for advice. "Give me some tips on how to talk to them."
"Here's the secret," said his brother, "Irish girls like to talk about three things: food, family, and philosophy. If you ask a girl what she likes to eat, it shows your intentions are honorable. If you discuss philosophy, it shows you respect her intelligence."
"Gee, thanks," said Seamus. "Food, family, philosophy. I can handle that."
That night as he met the young lady, Seamus blurted out,
"Do you like cabbage?"
"Uh, no," said the puzzled girl.
"Do you have a brother?" asked Seamus.
"No"
"Well, if you had a brother, would he like cabbage?"
"Here's the secret," said his brother, "Irish girls like to talk about three things: food, family, and philosophy. If you ask a girl what she likes to eat, it shows your intentions are honorable. If you discuss philosophy, it shows you respect her intelligence."
"Gee, thanks," said Seamus. "Food, family, philosophy. I can handle that."
That night as he met the young lady, Seamus blurted out,
"Do you like cabbage?"
"Uh, no," said the puzzled girl.
"Do you have a brother?" asked Seamus.
"No"
"Well, if you had a brother, would he like cabbage?"
