POSTED ON CONSUMPTION JUNCTION.COM
This shit is nasty but had me rollin lolol.
The Bloody Hooker Postulate
If A=Indy and B=Slut With Big Tits, Then AB= Indy's Dream Turned Nightmare
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve come to the realization that I may, in fact, have a tremendously huge cock. This revelation occurred to me after asking some of my cohorts here in the Far East if they too have the problem of hookers bleeding all over the bed. It took only a couple blank stares for me to figure out that this is solely the plight of the gonadial blessed. Allow me to explain.
It all started the other night when I found myself with two hookers. I’d taken them to my friends’ place as he was out of town and his condo is far nicer and larger than mine. I ordered the dirty whores to bathe and set about arranging the bedroom such that maximum whoremonger-ality would be achieved. Now these two trollops were definitely a sight to behold when the emerged from the shower. They were both about four-foot eleven but one was hot as balls with the mightiest rack I’ve seen in this damn country while her friend was skinny as a rail with a freakishly inverted left nipple.
Skinny started off by saying that she didn’t know how to suck a dick. I found this amusing and laughed for 45 minutes straight at this alone as she started, stopped, then started again to cry. Utter hilarity! A rented woman who doesn’t know how to suck a dick? How absurd! Naturally I should’ve listened to her. I was able to convince her to give it a try (I wanted to warm up before I plunged into the hot one) and began to talk her through the process gently, with my dick in her hand. I’d be lying if I said that she took 3 inches of my cock in her mouth before she turned and started throwing up violently all over the wall. How embarrassing. …for her I mean because I made her clean it up while I started to work on her hot-as-balls friend.
After a bit of making out she hopped on the Indy-stick and started to ride to Albuquerque. She’d only gone a block or so when, drenched in sweat, she slumped over and said in broken English “I think you need to get on top. You too big for me to straddle.” That’s just the kind of thing every red blooded American man loves to hear. So, I flip her over and start doing my work when after a few moments I start to wonder if her winces of pleasure are instead short whimpers of pain. I downshifted for a bit to give her a chance to catch her breath and looked over to Skinny who was scrubbing at the wall using a big sponge with a bucket of hot soapy water at her feet.
“Hey Deepthroat! “ I barked like the arrogant Yankee that I am. “You ever heard your friend scream like this?”
She slopped some soapy water on the wall, looked at her friend and whispered back to me with a hint of sass. “Only when she’s being split open.”
Mortified, I pulled out and jumped up. Sure, the gang and I often joke about beating up and sometimes murdering prostitutes for little more than the last purple Skittle in the bag but fuck me, I didn’t want to hurt this chick. She was fucking fine! I asked her if she’s ok and she was barely able to talk. She stood up, put on one of my buddies t-shirts and excused herself to the CR (Comfort Room). I felt horrible. I didn’t come to this country to make hookers puke and bleed. I just wanted to come all over their faces and maybe in a nostril or two just like I’d seen in one of the videos on the site. I needed to calm down as I was feeling my pulse beginning to quicken. I clapped my hands together twice loudly and fell back on the bed. I ordered Skinny to leave the vomit where it dripped and to pleasure me. I almost wished that I allowed her to fuck me first as she was actually a better lay of the two. That was until she started talking to herself…in the third person.
“Sasha do what Sasha want! Sasha do what Sasha want! Sasha grab you now! Sasha pinch Sasha’s nipples now! Sasha grind you now!”
I was starting to get scared. She came like a rocket and collapsed on the bed next to me where her hot ass friend had been not twenty minutes ago (Twenty minutes? Where the fuck was she?). She pulled back the covers, slid underneath them and curled up in a ball and faced me. Clearly she was quite satisfied. She gripped the blanket in her fist and slowly started twisting it around and around bringing the middle portion of the blanket nearer and nearer to her face.
That’s when I saw the blood stain which her friend had left.
My eyes grew big as saucers and I did my best not to shriek like a sissy and jump from the bed like Martin and Candy in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I took a deep breath and suddenly there was no sound. All that existed was my heartbeat, the blanket, the stain and Sasha’s mouth to which the stain crept closer, ever so slowly as she yammered on about who the fuck knows what. The suspense was killing me. Was I going to let this street walker wipe her face with the twatty-blood of her best friend or would I stop her in just the nick of time, grossed out way farther than I had ever been in life? I took another deep breath and tried my best to give empty replies to whatever the fuck she was talking about “Uh-huh” “Really?” “You don’t say?”
The stain was half an inch from her face and I completely lost it. I jumped up and ran to the other side of the bed so that I was behind her and scooped her up from the bed, blanket and all, and wrapped her as if the blanket were swaddling clothes. She thought I was playing and began laughing, clearly missing the grossed-out look on my face and the fact that I kept both of my eyes fixed on a portion of the blanket that was inches from her face.
I was heading for the door.
Just as I got there the door to the bathroom (the CR, dumbass) opened up and there stood the hot slut who couldn’t handle my cock. Behind her in the bathroom was the mightiest nightmare of blood and toilet paper that I’ve ever seen in real life. I screamed like I had at the monkey/hyena part in the newest Exorcist movie. She was crying a little but it appeared that she was able to clean herself up a bit and that the worst of her fluid loss was behind her. …Literally. Still in the moment of freaking-out-ness I hooked my right foot around her butt and pushed her in front of me. With that same foot I was able to open the door and kick her outside, dropping her friend onto the floor next to her with a comedic “thud”. I ran back to the bedroom, gathered both of their clothes, took a couple thousand piso’s from my wallet and tossed all of it out the door and slamming it shut.
I spend the rest of that evening cleaning hooker puke from my buddy’s wall and wondering if any of this would’ve happened if I’d had a smaller dick.
C’est la vie
This shit is nasty but had me rollin lolol.
The Bloody Hooker Postulate
If A=Indy and B=Slut With Big Tits, Then AB= Indy's Dream Turned Nightmare
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve come to the realization that I may, in fact, have a tremendously huge cock. This revelation occurred to me after asking some of my cohorts here in the Far East if they too have the problem of hookers bleeding all over the bed. It took only a couple blank stares for me to figure out that this is solely the plight of the gonadial blessed. Allow me to explain.
It all started the other night when I found myself with two hookers. I’d taken them to my friends’ place as he was out of town and his condo is far nicer and larger than mine. I ordered the dirty whores to bathe and set about arranging the bedroom such that maximum whoremonger-ality would be achieved. Now these two trollops were definitely a sight to behold when the emerged from the shower. They were both about four-foot eleven but one was hot as balls with the mightiest rack I’ve seen in this damn country while her friend was skinny as a rail with a freakishly inverted left nipple.
Skinny started off by saying that she didn’t know how to suck a dick. I found this amusing and laughed for 45 minutes straight at this alone as she started, stopped, then started again to cry. Utter hilarity! A rented woman who doesn’t know how to suck a dick? How absurd! Naturally I should’ve listened to her. I was able to convince her to give it a try (I wanted to warm up before I plunged into the hot one) and began to talk her through the process gently, with my dick in her hand. I’d be lying if I said that she took 3 inches of my cock in her mouth before she turned and started throwing up violently all over the wall. How embarrassing. …for her I mean because I made her clean it up while I started to work on her hot-as-balls friend.
After a bit of making out she hopped on the Indy-stick and started to ride to Albuquerque. She’d only gone a block or so when, drenched in sweat, she slumped over and said in broken English “I think you need to get on top. You too big for me to straddle.” That’s just the kind of thing every red blooded American man loves to hear. So, I flip her over and start doing my work when after a few moments I start to wonder if her winces of pleasure are instead short whimpers of pain. I downshifted for a bit to give her a chance to catch her breath and looked over to Skinny who was scrubbing at the wall using a big sponge with a bucket of hot soapy water at her feet.
“Hey Deepthroat! “ I barked like the arrogant Yankee that I am. “You ever heard your friend scream like this?”
She slopped some soapy water on the wall, looked at her friend and whispered back to me with a hint of sass. “Only when she’s being split open.”
Mortified, I pulled out and jumped up. Sure, the gang and I often joke about beating up and sometimes murdering prostitutes for little more than the last purple Skittle in the bag but fuck me, I didn’t want to hurt this chick. She was fucking fine! I asked her if she’s ok and she was barely able to talk. She stood up, put on one of my buddies t-shirts and excused herself to the CR (Comfort Room). I felt horrible. I didn’t come to this country to make hookers puke and bleed. I just wanted to come all over their faces and maybe in a nostril or two just like I’d seen in one of the videos on the site. I needed to calm down as I was feeling my pulse beginning to quicken. I clapped my hands together twice loudly and fell back on the bed. I ordered Skinny to leave the vomit where it dripped and to pleasure me. I almost wished that I allowed her to fuck me first as she was actually a better lay of the two. That was until she started talking to herself…in the third person.
“Sasha do what Sasha want! Sasha do what Sasha want! Sasha grab you now! Sasha pinch Sasha’s nipples now! Sasha grind you now!”
I was starting to get scared. She came like a rocket and collapsed on the bed next to me where her hot ass friend had been not twenty minutes ago (Twenty minutes? Where the fuck was she?). She pulled back the covers, slid underneath them and curled up in a ball and faced me. Clearly she was quite satisfied. She gripped the blanket in her fist and slowly started twisting it around and around bringing the middle portion of the blanket nearer and nearer to her face.
That’s when I saw the blood stain which her friend had left.
My eyes grew big as saucers and I did my best not to shriek like a sissy and jump from the bed like Martin and Candy in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I took a deep breath and suddenly there was no sound. All that existed was my heartbeat, the blanket, the stain and Sasha’s mouth to which the stain crept closer, ever so slowly as she yammered on about who the fuck knows what. The suspense was killing me. Was I going to let this street walker wipe her face with the twatty-blood of her best friend or would I stop her in just the nick of time, grossed out way farther than I had ever been in life? I took another deep breath and tried my best to give empty replies to whatever the fuck she was talking about “Uh-huh” “Really?” “You don’t say?”
The stain was half an inch from her face and I completely lost it. I jumped up and ran to the other side of the bed so that I was behind her and scooped her up from the bed, blanket and all, and wrapped her as if the blanket were swaddling clothes. She thought I was playing and began laughing, clearly missing the grossed-out look on my face and the fact that I kept both of my eyes fixed on a portion of the blanket that was inches from her face.
I was heading for the door.
Just as I got there the door to the bathroom (the CR, dumbass) opened up and there stood the hot slut who couldn’t handle my cock. Behind her in the bathroom was the mightiest nightmare of blood and toilet paper that I’ve ever seen in real life. I screamed like I had at the monkey/hyena part in the newest Exorcist movie. She was crying a little but it appeared that she was able to clean herself up a bit and that the worst of her fluid loss was behind her. …Literally. Still in the moment of freaking-out-ness I hooked my right foot around her butt and pushed her in front of me. With that same foot I was able to open the door and kick her outside, dropping her friend onto the floor next to her with a comedic “thud”. I ran back to the bedroom, gathered both of their clothes, took a couple thousand piso’s from my wallet and tossed all of it out the door and slamming it shut.
I spend the rest of that evening cleaning hooker puke from my buddy’s wall and wondering if any of this would’ve happened if I’d had a smaller dick.
C’est la vie
