The best Hip-Hop Punchlines....
- Thread starter M.o.B
- Start date
Now Candy was a bitch like Mandy
Diggin' fo' gold, wit a kid buyin hunnids by tha boatload
Black silk shirt with the see-thru sleeves
Thicker than a block of that government cheese
She used to have a man, but he's upstate
Stuck with what I call a Buck Rogers date
And dude will never ever see baby again
She needs anotha nigga to give her some endz
-B-Legit (The Click) "Tramp Dogs"
I think that Buck Rogers line is one of the greatest things that B-La has EVER spit... Fucking savage
Diggin' fo' gold, wit a kid buyin hunnids by tha boatload
Black silk shirt with the see-thru sleeves
Thicker than a block of that government cheese
She used to have a man, but he's upstate
Stuck with what I call a Buck Rogers date
And dude will never ever see baby again
She needs anotha nigga to give her some endz
-B-Legit (The Click) "Tramp Dogs"
I think that Buck Rogers line is one of the greatest things that B-La has EVER spit... Fucking savage
now i beat the rap but that ain't the point/ i had a warrant so i spent two weeks in the joint/now the story ya heard has one little object don't fuck with a bitch from the projects-Ice Cube-once upon a time in the projects
i even went and played the lotto forty million that day/i probably won the muthafucka but forgot that i played-Redman-Jersey Yo
i even went and played the lotto forty million that day/i probably won the muthafucka but forgot that i played-Redman-Jersey Yo
Not a punchline...but I felt like posting it.
"Nigga you in the mirror, checkin' what your make ups' lookin' like
Tryina fool the world wit' a Jacob look-a-like
Jiving like you hold stacks
But ya' car is ten years old homie, ya' drivin' in a throwback
They gon' strip you, have you runnin' naked next
Without security you like unprotected sex
You ain't never gon' finger a trigger
All you do is look in the mugshot book and finger a nigga
If real recognize real, you'd be a john doe
You livin' in a closet and call it a condo
I don't remember you as a slinger that was on the bench
Just a little scrub ass ringer in the tournaments
Now they try to blame the fall of hip hop on fans
Nah, I think its these hip hop con mans
Studio gangstas is played out now
This ain't the eighties, battle raps'll get you layed out now"
Fabolous - "Real Talk"
"Nigga you in the mirror, checkin' what your make ups' lookin' like
Tryina fool the world wit' a Jacob look-a-like
Jiving like you hold stacks
But ya' car is ten years old homie, ya' drivin' in a throwback
They gon' strip you, have you runnin' naked next
Without security you like unprotected sex
You ain't never gon' finger a trigger
All you do is look in the mugshot book and finger a nigga
If real recognize real, you'd be a john doe
You livin' in a closet and call it a condo
I don't remember you as a slinger that was on the bench
Just a little scrub ass ringer in the tournaments
Now they try to blame the fall of hip hop on fans
Nah, I think its these hip hop con mans
Studio gangstas is played out now
This ain't the eighties, battle raps'll get you layed out now"
Fabolous - "Real Talk"
fuck astronauts I rockit
and from now on if ya bite my shit when I see you I'm in ya pocket-Treach (Naughty By Nature)-Craziest
I don play around nor do I f around and you can tell by the bodies that I left around
When some punk jumps up to get beat down broken down to his very last compound
see how it sounds? a little unrational a lot emcees like to use the word dramatical-Krs1 My Phliosophy
is every nigga wit dreads down for the cause ?
is every nigga wit golds down for the fall ? naw
so don't get caught up in appearances it's Outkast Aquemeni another black experience-Andre 3000
look at these eyes baby blue baby just like yourself
if they were brown shady lose shady sits on the shelf-Eminem-White America
I went and played the lottery 40 million that day
I probably won the muthafucka but forgot that I played-Redman-Jersey Yo
and from now on if ya bite my shit when I see you I'm in ya pocket-Treach (Naughty By Nature)-Craziest
I don play around nor do I f around and you can tell by the bodies that I left around
When some punk jumps up to get beat down broken down to his very last compound
see how it sounds? a little unrational a lot emcees like to use the word dramatical-Krs1 My Phliosophy
is every nigga wit dreads down for the cause ?
is every nigga wit golds down for the fall ? naw
so don't get caught up in appearances it's Outkast Aquemeni another black experience-Andre 3000
look at these eyes baby blue baby just like yourself
if they were brown shady lose shady sits on the shelf-Eminem-White America
I went and played the lottery 40 million that day
I probably won the muthafucka but forgot that I played-Redman-Jersey Yo
I was only three steps from a peace prize
a piece of his leg piece of his eye and his right thigh-Treach (Naughty By Nature)-Guard Your Grill
I take seven emcees put 'em in a line
then add seven more brothers that think they can rhyme
now it'll take seven more before I go for mine
now that's 21 emcees ate up at the same time-Rakim-My Melody
emcees I lay out like stiffs in the mourge
praise the lord your in awe when when I'm grippin my mic cord
rhymes I rip with swift execution one verse could coerce ya girl into prostitution-Suckas Need Bodyguards-Guru (Gangstarr)
Yo ya'll niggas never will see my level
rap so hot I slap box with the devil-Keith Murray-Slap Somebody
a piece of his leg piece of his eye and his right thigh-Treach (Naughty By Nature)-Guard Your Grill
I take seven emcees put 'em in a line
then add seven more brothers that think they can rhyme
now it'll take seven more before I go for mine
now that's 21 emcees ate up at the same time-Rakim-My Melody
emcees I lay out like stiffs in the mourge
praise the lord your in awe when when I'm grippin my mic cord
rhymes I rip with swift execution one verse could coerce ya girl into prostitution-Suckas Need Bodyguards-Guru (Gangstarr)
Yo ya'll niggas never will see my level
rap so hot I slap box with the devil-Keith Murray-Slap Somebody
Hi, my name's Ludacris, and I'm high as giraffe pussy
And I'm close to the edge, so yo' parents can come PUSH ME
I curse so much just to get on they nerves
I got kids "Actin a Fool" from the traps to the burbs
My filthy mouth, it won't fight cavities or beat plaque
So I shot the tooth fairy and put my old teeth back
I take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater
And make government officials breathe harder than Darth Vader
It's the chicken and the beer that makes Luda keep rappin
But no pork on my fork, I don't even SPEAK pig latin
I go fishin on my lake, with yo' bitch as the bait
Plus I eat many MC's, but I don't gain no weight
The numba ONE chief rocka, clean out yo' rap lockers
I'm as stiff as a board, y'all more SHOOK than maracas
But my +Trix+ ain't for kids, if you +Dig'um+ you'll get +Smacked+
I'll clock ya - I'll spring forward, you fall back
Every album that I drop has got more than ten bangers
That's cause I'm a shot caller, y'all fools is +Crank Yankers+
{*phone rings*} Ain't a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain
To get chicks from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine
Now I roll up torpedoes, get blunted with rastas
For a hefty fee, I'm +On Your Record+ like Bob Costas
I own so many jerseys I'm a throwback mess
I hit the cleaners and tell 'em I want a full court press (OW!)
So momma toast your glass while I'm countin my cash
Cause every single is a smash, I'm hot as a camel's ass
The competition never just wanna admit that they lost
And that they last about as long as my part in +The Wash+
From yo' car to a crap game, no one rolls wit'chu
One of Mini-Me's shoes got more sole than you
So by the time you figure out why your record ain't spinnin
I'm in the strip club smokin, with President Clinton
So stand clear of the long sideburns and goatee
They made the mold of the penis enlarger off me
I'll be in another room when I hit from the back
Not to mention my refridgerator's taller than Shaq (YUH)
So yippie-kay-yay, yippie-yie-yie-yo
If you can't swim, don't smoke my hydro
I've been lookin for a woman just to put my stamp on
But a lot of y'all are mo' stuck up than tampons
So wash all ya sins away and stop playin
If God's line is busy you might have to two-way him
Then catch me in your backyard, playin croquet
And when I'm drunk tell them kids, "Drugs are bad, mmm'kay?"
Or watch me swing my chain at the Roscoe's off Pico
Got seven cars, get all my rims at Chrome Depot
And people think I'm bad, they say "Oooh he's so evil!"
Cause I go on blind dates, with actual blind people (OW!)
But my album's out the store, yours be on the shelf
I heard you masturbate a lot, so y'all keep to yourself
Cause these women want a man that stay up and stay strong
Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home
All that shit that y'all talkin, y'all can pop it to them
Cause Ludacris'll beat you down with a prosthetic limb
I put my FOOT so deep in yo' ass that you can smell it
And yo' breath will turn to Foot Locker water repellant
I'm the man, I got money far as the eyes can see
And I'm in a group, I split dough with me, me and me
So much money in my jewelry that I'm damn near sorry
So I'ma trade my earrings in, and get a Ferrari (WOO!)
I buy cars with straight cash, have meetings with Donald Trump
Y'all meet with HONDA, no payments for 12 months
Take a look at yo' life, and NO WONDER you so sad
Y'all put up with more shit than a colostomy bag, fool!
-ohhla.com
I'm surprised nobody posted this yet.
And I'm close to the edge, so yo' parents can come PUSH ME
I curse so much just to get on they nerves
I got kids "Actin a Fool" from the traps to the burbs
My filthy mouth, it won't fight cavities or beat plaque
So I shot the tooth fairy and put my old teeth back
I take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater
And make government officials breathe harder than Darth Vader
It's the chicken and the beer that makes Luda keep rappin
But no pork on my fork, I don't even SPEAK pig latin
I go fishin on my lake, with yo' bitch as the bait
Plus I eat many MC's, but I don't gain no weight
The numba ONE chief rocka, clean out yo' rap lockers
I'm as stiff as a board, y'all more SHOOK than maracas
But my +Trix+ ain't for kids, if you +Dig'um+ you'll get +Smacked+
I'll clock ya - I'll spring forward, you fall back
Every album that I drop has got more than ten bangers
That's cause I'm a shot caller, y'all fools is +Crank Yankers+
{*phone rings*} Ain't a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain
To get chicks from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine
Now I roll up torpedoes, get blunted with rastas
For a hefty fee, I'm +On Your Record+ like Bob Costas
I own so many jerseys I'm a throwback mess
I hit the cleaners and tell 'em I want a full court press (OW!)
So momma toast your glass while I'm countin my cash
Cause every single is a smash, I'm hot as a camel's ass
The competition never just wanna admit that they lost
And that they last about as long as my part in +The Wash+
From yo' car to a crap game, no one rolls wit'chu
One of Mini-Me's shoes got more sole than you
So by the time you figure out why your record ain't spinnin
I'm in the strip club smokin, with President Clinton
So stand clear of the long sideburns and goatee
They made the mold of the penis enlarger off me
I'll be in another room when I hit from the back
Not to mention my refridgerator's taller than Shaq (YUH)
So yippie-kay-yay, yippie-yie-yie-yo
If you can't swim, don't smoke my hydro
I've been lookin for a woman just to put my stamp on
But a lot of y'all are mo' stuck up than tampons
So wash all ya sins away and stop playin
If God's line is busy you might have to two-way him
Then catch me in your backyard, playin croquet
And when I'm drunk tell them kids, "Drugs are bad, mmm'kay?"
Or watch me swing my chain at the Roscoe's off Pico
Got seven cars, get all my rims at Chrome Depot
And people think I'm bad, they say "Oooh he's so evil!"
Cause I go on blind dates, with actual blind people (OW!)
But my album's out the store, yours be on the shelf
I heard you masturbate a lot, so y'all keep to yourself
Cause these women want a man that stay up and stay strong
Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home
All that shit that y'all talkin, y'all can pop it to them
Cause Ludacris'll beat you down with a prosthetic limb
I put my FOOT so deep in yo' ass that you can smell it
And yo' breath will turn to Foot Locker water repellant
I'm the man, I got money far as the eyes can see
And I'm in a group, I split dough with me, me and me
So much money in my jewelry that I'm damn near sorry
So I'ma trade my earrings in, and get a Ferrari (WOO!)
I buy cars with straight cash, have meetings with Donald Trump
Y'all meet with HONDA, no payments for 12 months
Take a look at yo' life, and NO WONDER you so sad
Y'all put up with more shit than a colostomy bag, fool!
-ohhla.com
I'm surprised nobody posted this yet.
