Stephon Marbury is NUTS
- Thread starter coondogg26
- Start date
G
While Shawn Marion makes his Heat debut on national TV against the Lakers, we’ll be concentrating on something else.
This may surprise you, but we’re calling NYC this afternoon to have an over-the-phone lunch with Stephon Marbury.
You see, he’s had like all these surgeries on his ankle (or maybe just one surgery), is out for the year, and now he needs what we in the industry call “a friend”.
We intend to be that friend - on the menu is MacDonalds hamburgers - we’ll both be eating the exact same thing so that we can have conversations about the food, just like in a real, in-person meal situation.
We imagine it’ll go something like this:
“Hey Stephon Marbury, how is your McDonalds hamburger?”
“It is good. How is your McDonalds hamburger?”
“It is good, too.”
“I am going to eat six french fries now. You should too, and then we’ll ask each other how they were.”
“Okay.”
…
…
“How were your McDonalds french fries, Stephon Marbury?”
“I am not done yet.”
“Will you tell me when you are done?”
“Yes.”
…
…
“Now I am finished.”
“I am glad. Now we can discuss our McDonalds french fries.”
“Yes. I am looking forward to this part of the conversation.”
“How were your McDonalds french fries, Stephon Marbury?”
“They were good. I am curious if yours were good, as well.”
“Yes, they were. Now I am going to take a drink of the Diet Coke that came with my McDonalds hamburger and french fry value meal.”
“How long of a sip will you take.”
“I will sip with the straw for 2 seconds, at a medium strength.”
“I would like to sip at a strength of 7/10, which is more towards a medium high strength.”
“You are a shrewd negotiator, Stephon Marbury.”
“Ha ha ha! That is funny.”
“Yes, I have made a joke, and the joke has been a success.”
“What you did was take a business phrase and inserted it into a casual conversation about having a meal.”
“The odd pairing of words out of context results in humor.”
“I laughed.”
“I am glad, Stephon Marbury. Are you ready to sip the Diet Coke, as we proposed earlier?”
“Yes.”
“Before we do that, may I ask you a question?”
“Yes.”
“Is your refrigerator running?”
“Yes”
“Well, you better catch it.”
“HA HA HA!”
“HA HA HA!”
“That was another joke.”
“I know.”
“I have lost track of who is who in this conversation.”
“I have, too.”
“Uh, oh!”
“This could be troublesome to the continuation of the conversation.”
“It is called a loss of identity.”
“Earlier, one of us was repeatedly referring to the other as Stephon Marbury so as to differentiate who was speaking.”
“I do not remember which of us was doing that.”
“Keeping track of it became difficult with all of the jokes flying around.”
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Your refrigerator is running!”
“HA HA HA!”
“HA HA HA!”
“EL OH EL!”
“I am enjoying this lunch.”
“I am, as well.”
“Would you like to try taking another bite of the hamburgers?”
“We have forgotten to take the sip of Diet Coke.”
“Things are getting crazy.”
“We don’t play by the rules!”
“And we have running refrigerators!”
“HA HA HA!”
“TEE-HEE!”
“That is how girls laugh.”
“I know - that is the joke.”
“I didn’t know we were still telling jokes.”
“HA HA HA!”
This may surprise you, but we’re calling NYC this afternoon to have an over-the-phone lunch with Stephon Marbury.
You see, he’s had like all these surgeries on his ankle (or maybe just one surgery), is out for the year, and now he needs what we in the industry call “a friend”.
We intend to be that friend - on the menu is MacDonalds hamburgers - we’ll both be eating the exact same thing so that we can have conversations about the food, just like in a real, in-person meal situation.
We imagine it’ll go something like this:
“Hey Stephon Marbury, how is your McDonalds hamburger?”
“It is good. How is your McDonalds hamburger?”
“It is good, too.”
“I am going to eat six french fries now. You should too, and then we’ll ask each other how they were.”
“Okay.”
…
…
“How were your McDonalds french fries, Stephon Marbury?”
“I am not done yet.”
“Will you tell me when you are done?”
“Yes.”
…
…
“Now I am finished.”
“I am glad. Now we can discuss our McDonalds french fries.”
“Yes. I am looking forward to this part of the conversation.”
“How were your McDonalds french fries, Stephon Marbury?”
“They were good. I am curious if yours were good, as well.”
“Yes, they were. Now I am going to take a drink of the Diet Coke that came with my McDonalds hamburger and french fry value meal.”
“How long of a sip will you take.”
“I will sip with the straw for 2 seconds, at a medium strength.”
“I would like to sip at a strength of 7/10, which is more towards a medium high strength.”
“You are a shrewd negotiator, Stephon Marbury.”
“Ha ha ha! That is funny.”
“Yes, I have made a joke, and the joke has been a success.”
“What you did was take a business phrase and inserted it into a casual conversation about having a meal.”
“The odd pairing of words out of context results in humor.”
“I laughed.”
“I am glad, Stephon Marbury. Are you ready to sip the Diet Coke, as we proposed earlier?”
“Yes.”
“Before we do that, may I ask you a question?”
“Yes.”
“Is your refrigerator running?”
“Yes”
“Well, you better catch it.”
“HA HA HA!”
“HA HA HA!”
“That was another joke.”
“I know.”
“I have lost track of who is who in this conversation.”
“I have, too.”
“Uh, oh!”
“This could be troublesome to the continuation of the conversation.”
“It is called a loss of identity.”
“Earlier, one of us was repeatedly referring to the other as Stephon Marbury so as to differentiate who was speaking.”
“I do not remember which of us was doing that.”
“Keeping track of it became difficult with all of the jokes flying around.”
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Your refrigerator is running!”
“HA HA HA!”
“HA HA HA!”
“EL OH EL!”
“I am enjoying this lunch.”
“I am, as well.”
“Would you like to try taking another bite of the hamburgers?”
“We have forgotten to take the sip of Diet Coke.”
“Things are getting crazy.”
“We don’t play by the rules!”
“And we have running refrigerators!”
“HA HA HA!”
“TEE-HEE!”
“That is how girls laugh.”
“I know - that is the joke.”
“I didn’t know we were still telling jokes.”
“HA HA HA!”
