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caff

caff

Sicc OG
#1
May 10, 2002
17,965
259
83
49
#1
A girl goes up to her father one night and says, "Dad, can I have the car tonight?"

Her father looks at her thoughtfully and says, "Sure, if you give me a blowjob."

So the girl puts his penis in her mouth and almost immediately spits it back out.

"Your penis tastes like shit!" she cries.

"Oh yeah," her father replied, "I forgot I loaned the car to your brother tonight."
 
caff

caff

Sicc OG
#2
May 10, 2002
17,965
259
83
49
#2
joke #2

It's the first of April, and Joe is out of town on business. He returns home to find out that his wife is at the hospital in labor having their first child.

He rushes to the hospital, and goes to his wife's side. She has already had the child. He goes to the nursery to see the baby.

He spots the name on a crib and motions to the nurse. She points at the crib and Joe says, "Yes, he's my son."

The nurse picks up the baby and drops it on the floor.

Joe is aghast. The nurse says, "Don't worry." She picks up the baby and slaps it hard across the face several times. Joe turns white in horror as she throws the baby across the nursery. Joe is about to faint as she holds the baby by it's testicles and swings it around her head.

Joe screams, "Stop you're kiling my baby!!!!"

The nurse responds, "April Fools... It was born dead..."
 
caff

caff

Sicc OG
#3
May 10, 2002
17,965
259
83
49
#3
joke #3

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
 
caff

caff

Sicc OG
#4
May 10, 2002
17,965
259
83
49
#4
joke #4

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."
 
caff

caff

Sicc OG
#5
May 10, 2002
17,965
259
83
49
#5
joke #5

A little girl goes up to her mom and asks, "What's that?"

The mom answers, "A vagina."

And the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?"

And the mom answers, "As soon as you grow up."

Then the little girl goes up to her dad and asks, "What's that?"

And the dad answers, "A penis."

So the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?"

And the the dad answers, "As soon as your mom goes to work."
 
T

THA RIPPA

Sicc OG
#8
May 27, 2002
2,067
2
0
#8
caffeine said:
Joe is aghast. The nurse says, "Don't worry." She picks up the baby and slaps it hard across the face several times. Joe turns white in horror as she throws the baby across the nursery. Joe is about to faint as she holds the baby by it's testicles and swings it around her head.
Click to expand...
that had me rollin
 
TONY206

TONY206

/b/ased
#9
Jun 13, 2002
13,154
525
113
siccness.net
#9
caffeine said:
She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."
Click to expand...
this had me rollin
 
B

BIG J

Sicc OG
#10
Apr 26, 2002
4,128
42
0
43
#10
They're just jokes folks, you guys know he didn't write them. Those were funny as fuck
"I forgot I loaned the car to your brother tonight." LMAO!
 
caff

caff

Sicc OG
#11
May 10, 2002
17,965
259
83
49
#11
@young venom- your polls in top 64 rappers is GAY.. next time read the fuckin thread before enter if you cant take it BITCH..
 
B-Buzz

B-Buzz

lenbiasyayo
#12
Oct 21, 2002
9,673
4,429
0
41
bhibago
last.fm
#12
Hey Caffeine..You pay Pirate his royalties? :devious:

Ill keep my mouf shut...


#1 What'd the pedefile say to the 8 year old as they were walking into the woods?

Quit bitchin, Im the one thats gotta walk outta here alone.

#2 How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, one to hold the lightbulb, the other to drink till the room starts spinnin.

#3 How many people does it take to bury an Italian?

2, a trashcan only has 2 handles

(Im Italian and Irish so dont hate...)
 
Calm 1 NPK 503

Calm 1 NPK 503

Sicc OG
#13
Feb 21, 2003
3,397
55
0
www.myspace.com
#13
caff said:
A girl goes up to her father one night and says, "Dad, can I have the car tonight?"

Her father looks at her thoughtfully and says, "Sure, if you give me a blowjob."

So the girl puts his penis in her mouth and almost immediately spits it back out.

"Your penis tastes like shit!" she cries.

"Oh yeah," her father replied, "I forgot I loaned the car to your brother tonight."
Click to expand...
Hahahahahaha!!!
 
NiNe2FiVe

NiNe2FiVe

Sicc OG
#15
Apr 26, 2003
10,869
16,113
0
61
East Oakland, USA
#15
caff said:
joke #4

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."
Click to expand...
Reminds me of the Donkey Balls joke...
 
C

ChittyBang

Sicc OG
#16
Oct 10, 2009
977
20
0
37
#16
caff said:
joke #3

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
Click to expand...
Fucked up when my Cuzin (female) just died saturday when her neck broke in two places & the bone went into her brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Neshani

Neshani

Sicc OG
#19
May 27, 2009
897
8
0
49
#19
So there's a new priest and its his first day at work. He's super nervous about taking confessions. Luckily the previous priest, Father O'Connor, gave him a list of sins and what their penance is.

So some guy comes in for a confession. He says "Father forgive me because I cheated on my wife this week".

The priest looks at the list and finds adultery and tells the guy what his penance is.

Next a lady comes in to confess. She says "Father forgive me because I gave my boyfriend a blow job yesterday".

The priest looks a his list and can't find oral sex anywhere. He starts to panic. So the priest sticks his head out of the booth and sees one of the altar boys. He quietly calls the boy over.

"Billy! Billy! What did Father O'Connor used to give for oral sex?"

The kid thinks about it for a second and says "Usually a Kit Kat bar."
 
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