Riley: Hey Shaq thanks for a great season.
Shaq: I know I got the MVP.
Riley: Uhm Nash got the MVP but you still had a pretty good year.
Shaq: He got the human votes I got the Klingon votes.
Riley: Ohhh kay, well anyways I wanted to talk to you about your new contract.
Shaq: 30 million for 3 years... thanks alot coach see you in preseason.
Riley: Slow down Shaq.
Shaq. Thiiiiiiiirty millllllion .... threeeeee yeeeeears.
Riley: That's not what I meant. Shaq we want to keep contending for a championship so we need you to take a pay cut.
Shaq: No problem coach, thirty million 4 years.
Riley: That doesn't make sense! We'll be paying you even more.
Shaq: No you won't, cuz after 3 years you won't need to sign me to another max contract.
Riley: Shaq I'm having a problem coming up with that kind of money and keeping talent around you.
Shaq: You have a money problem? (scraches forehead) Contact the Miami Heat organization and I'll take care of it.
Riley: Shaq, I am the Miami Heat organization.
Shaq: Oh no problems then.
Riley: I don't think you understand. Iif we pay you the max we won't be able to afford to surround you with talented players.
Shaq: It's okay, everybody wants to play with me... I can get Reggie Miller, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, and Wilt to play for cheap. They all want to play with me.
Riley: Shaq those guys are retired and over the hill... and Wilt.. well he's dead.
Shaq: It's okay I make the game easier for everyone, Wilt will have an easy time.
Riley: What about Wade in a couple of years he's going to be looking for big money. We can't afford two max contracts.
Shaq: He'll take a paycut, he likes me. I'm his big brother (smacks his elbow) I gave him a nickname. If it wasn't for me he wouldn't have a nickname.
Riley: Shaq, do you hear that?
Shaq: What?
Riley: It's an ice cream truck outside
(Shaq runs out the conference room)
Riley: WTF did I get myself into.
Shaq: I know I got the MVP.
Riley: Uhm Nash got the MVP but you still had a pretty good year.
Shaq: He got the human votes I got the Klingon votes.
Riley: Ohhh kay, well anyways I wanted to talk to you about your new contract.
Shaq: 30 million for 3 years... thanks alot coach see you in preseason.
Riley: Slow down Shaq.
Shaq. Thiiiiiiiirty millllllion .... threeeeee yeeeeears.
Riley: That's not what I meant. Shaq we want to keep contending for a championship so we need you to take a pay cut.
Shaq: No problem coach, thirty million 4 years.
Riley: That doesn't make sense! We'll be paying you even more.
Shaq: No you won't, cuz after 3 years you won't need to sign me to another max contract.
Riley: Shaq I'm having a problem coming up with that kind of money and keeping talent around you.
Shaq: You have a money problem? (scraches forehead) Contact the Miami Heat organization and I'll take care of it.
Riley: Shaq, I am the Miami Heat organization.
Shaq: Oh no problems then.
Riley: I don't think you understand. Iif we pay you the max we won't be able to afford to surround you with talented players.
Shaq: It's okay, everybody wants to play with me... I can get Reggie Miller, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, and Wilt to play for cheap. They all want to play with me.
Riley: Shaq those guys are retired and over the hill... and Wilt.. well he's dead.
Shaq: It's okay I make the game easier for everyone, Wilt will have an easy time.
Riley: What about Wade in a couple of years he's going to be looking for big money. We can't afford two max contracts.
Shaq: He'll take a paycut, he likes me. I'm his big brother (smacks his elbow) I gave him a nickname. If it wasn't for me he wouldn't have a nickname.
Riley: Shaq, do you hear that?
Shaq: What?
Riley: It's an ice cream truck outside
(Shaq runs out the conference room)
Riley: WTF did I get myself into.