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Apr 25, 2002
Riley: Hey Shaq thanks for a great season.

Shaq: I know I got the MVP.

Riley: Uhm Nash got the MVP but you still had a pretty good year.

Shaq: He got the human votes I got the Klingon votes.

Riley: Ohhh kay, well anyways I wanted to talk to you about your new contract.

Shaq: 30 million for 3 years... thanks alot coach see you in preseason.

Riley: Slow down Shaq.

Shaq. Thiiiiiiiirty millllllion .... threeeeee yeeeeears.

Riley: That's not what I meant. Shaq we want to keep contending for a championship so we need you to take a pay cut.

Shaq: No problem coach, thirty million 4 years.

Riley: That doesn't make sense! We'll be paying you even more.

Shaq: No you won't, cuz after 3 years you won't need to sign me to another max contract.

Riley: Shaq I'm having a problem coming up with that kind of money and keeping talent around you.

Shaq: You have a money problem? (scraches forehead) Contact the Miami Heat organization and I'll take care of it.

Riley: Shaq, I am the Miami Heat organization.

Shaq: Oh no problems then.

Riley: I don't think you understand. Iif we pay you the max we won't be able to afford to surround you with talented players.

Shaq: It's okay, everybody wants to play with me... I can get Reggie Miller, David Robinson, Michael Jordan, and Wilt to play for cheap. They all want to play with me.

Riley: Shaq those guys are retired and over the hill... and Wilt.. well he's dead.

Shaq: It's okay I make the game easier for everyone, Wilt will have an easy time.

Riley: What about Wade in a couple of years he's going to be looking for big money. We can't afford two max contracts.

Shaq: He'll take a paycut, he likes me. I'm his big brother (smacks his elbow) I gave him a nickname. If it wasn't for me he wouldn't have a nickname.

Riley: Shaq, do you hear that?

Shaq: What?

Riley: It's an ice cream truck outside

(Shaq runs out the conference room)

Riley: WTF did I get myself into.