jokes

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Daveyboy

Daveyboy

Sicc Triple OG
#1
Apr 25, 2002
1,169
2
0
42
#1
any of yall got any funnies you'd like to share...this is the place.
i'll start this shit off...

two aliens land on earth and there walking through the desert and they come acrossed a tire, one alien looks at the other and say's "watch this", he pulls out his laser gun and say's "tell me who your leader is or i'll blow your ass away"...the tire says nothing....BOOOM, the alien blows the tire away, so then they start walking again and they come across an old couch, and the other alien looks at his buddy and says "my turn" so he pulls out his laser beam and blows the couch up, and they start walking again until they see this gas station, they both look at this gas pump outside and one turns to the other and say's " you shot the last one so its my turn this time". "i dont know if you should" says the other, why not....the other replies "cuz thats a bad mother fucker man"...the other is like fuck that so he pulls out his laser gun and zaps the gas pump...KAAABOOOOM!!!...the two aliens fly back like 300 yards...they both wake up 10 minutes later and look at each other and one say's " how did you know that was a bad motherfucker" the other replies" cuz anyone that can take there dick and wrap it around their shoulder twice and stick it in their ear, is a bad motherfucker.
 
U

Unregistered

Sicc OG
#3
May 3, 2002
1,012
2
38
#3
I'm not good at telling jokes, but here's an attempt...
One night a drunk guy shows up at a police station and demands to see the burglar who had broken into his house the night before, but is stopped by the clerk at the front desk. "You'll get your chance to confront him in court," says the clerk. The drunk guy replies, "I'm not here to confront him, I'm just here to ask him how in the hell did he get into my house without waking my wife."
 
Daveyboy

Daveyboy

Sicc Triple OG
#4
Apr 25, 2002
1,169
2
0
42
#4
ok here's another one,

a kid walks into a whore house carrying a dead flattened frog on a string...he goes up to the women at the front desk and say's "I want the nastiest filthiest bitch you got". the women looks strangly at him and say's " room 115 upstairs to the right" the kid walks up stairs and comes back down 10 minutes later..he pays the lady but before he walks out the women stops him and asks" young man why did you ask for the nastiest filthiest whore we have" the kid says "well check this out, i fuck the nasty whore and i get the ganaherpesiphilis, then later i go home and fuck the babysitter, then she gets the ganaherpesiphilis, when daddy takes her home he gets the ganaherpesiphilis, then tonight mommy and daddy fuck then she gets the ganaherpesiphilis, and tommorow when daddy goes to work, mommy fucks the mailman, AND THATS THE MOTHERFUCKER THAT RAN OVER MY FROG!!
 
A

AdolfOliverBush

Sicc OG
#20
Apr 25, 2002
4,688
2,578
113
45
Houston
#20
There is a guy sitting in a bar. A man comes and sits down next to him. The man then pulls a 12 inch tall man and a little piano out of his coat and the little man sits down and starts playing the piano. The other guy stares in amazement and says, "Whoa, that is awesome! Where did you get that miniature man from?" The guy pulls out a lamp and says, "From the genie in this lamp. He will grant a person one wish." The other man says, "Can I please make a wish?" The man says, "Sure." So the man rubs the lamp and the genie comes out and says, "I will grant you one wish." The man immediately says, "I wan't a million bucks." The genie says, "Granted", and POOF! After the smoke clears, the man notices that there are a lot of ducks. So the man says, "What the fuck is this? I asked for a million BUCKS, not a million DUCKS." The other man says, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, the genie has a hearing problem. Do you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?"
 
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