I'm about to boogie off to Whistler and then to NARM, so I can't wait
for
this week's final numbers. SO, I'm gonna report on the 53.58% of the
action
now in. Oh, there could be some sudden movement. But, almost always,
the
chart numbers remain the same after this percentage is in. Although I
WILL
leave out the actual sales numbers, since they're not definitive YET.
1. 50 Cent
Yup, everyone BURNED this. And then UPLOADED the files to the Net.
Where
everybody TRADED IT! Showing that every kid in America's a crook and
NOBODY
wants to buy CDs anymore.
Then how in the hell can we explain a total of almost three million CDs
sold
in under five weeks? Huh? EXPLAIN THAT to me Hilary.
Oh, Hilary's damn good. She'll weasel around this one. I KNOW. But
it's really not about Hilary. It's about Doug Morris... Actually, is it
about Doug Morris, or Jimmy Iovine anymore? Is it about
ANYBODY who knows anything about music anymore?
Universal, king of the heap, is just a pawn in Vivendi's game. To be
sold
off to pay debt. This would be as if...Major League Baseball were to
sell
the Yankees at a fire sale price, saying baseball's HISTORY! But, I ASK
you...is baseball history? Troubled. Mismanaged. But people still LOVE
the game. People still LOVE music. The business over? No fucking way.
The people RUNNING the labels have depressed the value of their
franchises by
bitching in the press. Therefore, the people above THEM, the Fourtou's
, the
Parsons', just want to BLOW the damn things out. And the press buys it
all,
saying music's over, history, kaput.
But, I ASK you. How can music be kaput when we've sold this many 50
Cent
albums in so short a period of time? This rivals the sales of 'N Sync
at the
act's PEAK!! And, if the air hadn't been clouded by the release of the
"8
Mile" soundtrack, with ITS own single, "The Eminem Show" would still be
selling like hotcakes today, certainly in the Top Twenty, probably in
the Top
Ten. Steaming past ten million into legendary territory.
Once again, where's the PROBLEM?
It's OBVIOUSLY not with piracy. It's OBVIOUSLY with the MUSIC! Let me
clue you non-downloading fat cats in... If a CD has three or four
good tracks, you want the whole damn thing. You want the ORIGINAL! If
an
album's a throwaway, a few MP3s are fine. But, if something is GREAT,
you
want the pristine, authorized version, as a BADGE OF HONOR!! Don't speak
to me about logic, this is just a FACT! Ask ANYBODY! Same deal with
burned CDs. If the record's a classic, people have to have
the ORIGINAL!
Ergo, if more albums had three or four great tracks, people would cough
up
the fifteen bucks to BUY them.
But since they DON'T, sales are down.
People are voting with their pocketbooks. They'll buy when they think
something's GOOD!
But, but, BUT you say Bob. Are you telling me that when broadband
reaches
over fifty percent penetration, we'll STILL sell this many CDs? Shit, I
don't THINK so... Then again, maybe there's another way to look at
all this. Maybe downloading isn't cannibalizing AT ALL! Maybe it's
about
ADDITIONAL CUSTOMERS!!! Hell, maybe even some of these people who
discover
on the Net buy a CD they weren't even PLANNING TO! It's about expansion
of
the marketplace baby. THAT'S the paradigm. Not coming down on people
for
being desirous of something.
I think the days of the CD are over. But, based on the sales figures
for
this 50 Cent album, NOT YET!!!
3. L'il Kim
A second-rate rapper with a boob job.
This will have NO legs. People just don't CARE!
Let me ask you, how many real L'il Kim fans do you think there ARE?
Probably less than EVE fans, and HER last album proved there weren't
many of
THEM!!
THIS is what's wrong with the business. Why in the hell would ANYBODY
expect
these acts to have careers, sustain sales. Jay-Z, yes. Maybe even LL
Cool
J. But not THESE babes.
5. Evanescence
All you've got to know is it's on Wind-Up.
ANYBODY can have one big act. But TWO!
It's not like Wind-Up is Madison House, selling the String Cheese
Incident
outside the system. No, Wind-Up is beating the majors at THEIR OWN
GAME! Oh, you'll say it's about the Net. That Wind-Up uses new
marketing
techniques.
I just don't buy that.
Wind-Up seems to be able to pick acts PEOPLE want to HEAR!
The major A&R people are looking at acts that are too cool for the room.
Or
else, lowest common denominator tripe. Whereas Wind-Up is looking for
stuff
straight down the middle. Call it meat and potatoes. Whatever, people
WANT
their stuff, it's an UNDERSERVED MARKET!
Furthermore, Wind-Up is nimble. And the people there care and will work
for
RESULTS for THEIR OWN SAKE, not purely for a paycheck like at the major
labels.
Maybe the exodus should be reversed. Instead of the indies picking up
players shed by the majors, the MAJORS should pick up some of these
indie
players, pay them just a little bit more, INCENTIVIZE them.
All the creative thinking. All the hard work. All the EXCITEMENT is at
the
indies.
And now the sales are there too.
18. Audioslave
The person responsible for this must have been the same person
responsible
for sticking Gary Cherone with Van Halen. Once you start building bands
on
paper... Or, then again, once BUSINESS PEOPLE/MANAGERS start building
bands...
Let's look at history.
MOST bands grow up together. Oh, you might find a better drummer
somewhere,
but the whole...is more than the sum of its parts.
Put together acts. Souther, Hillman, Furay...put together by David
Geffen,
the guys HATED each other and never broke through.
I've never known Chris Cornell to go on record on political issues.
What in
the HELL is he doing with Tom Morello?
Tom...sure, it's disillusioning to lose your lead singer, but that's
LIFE!
To TRY to stay on top, to TRY and not lose any momentum, is
like...jumping
into a new relationship after your marriage ends. What do they call
that,
the REBOUND!
Yup, Audioslave is a REBOUND band. It's a FACSIMILE of a band. The
more you
listen, IF you can listen, you tell yourself...this doesn't feel right,
this
doesn't work, I'm OUTTA HERE!
Music, a BAND, is not made on paper. It comes out of emotions.
Audioslave is a MERGER. And it sounds like one. It's just Asia a
little bit
heavier. And I mean that as an indictment.
Then again, Asia sold more records than Audioslave ever will. And once
again, is Audioslave a shitty name or WHAT!!
for
this week's final numbers. SO, I'm gonna report on the 53.58% of the
action
now in. Oh, there could be some sudden movement. But, almost always,
the
chart numbers remain the same after this percentage is in. Although I
WILL
leave out the actual sales numbers, since they're not definitive YET.
1. 50 Cent
Yup, everyone BURNED this. And then UPLOADED the files to the Net.
Where
everybody TRADED IT! Showing that every kid in America's a crook and
NOBODY
wants to buy CDs anymore.
Then how in the hell can we explain a total of almost three million CDs
sold
in under five weeks? Huh? EXPLAIN THAT to me Hilary.
Oh, Hilary's damn good. She'll weasel around this one. I KNOW. But
it's really not about Hilary. It's about Doug Morris... Actually, is it
about Doug Morris, or Jimmy Iovine anymore? Is it about
ANYBODY who knows anything about music anymore?
Universal, king of the heap, is just a pawn in Vivendi's game. To be
sold
off to pay debt. This would be as if...Major League Baseball were to
sell
the Yankees at a fire sale price, saying baseball's HISTORY! But, I ASK
you...is baseball history? Troubled. Mismanaged. But people still LOVE
the game. People still LOVE music. The business over? No fucking way.
The people RUNNING the labels have depressed the value of their
franchises by
bitching in the press. Therefore, the people above THEM, the Fourtou's
, the
Parsons', just want to BLOW the damn things out. And the press buys it
all,
saying music's over, history, kaput.
But, I ASK you. How can music be kaput when we've sold this many 50
Cent
albums in so short a period of time? This rivals the sales of 'N Sync
at the
act's PEAK!! And, if the air hadn't been clouded by the release of the
"8
Mile" soundtrack, with ITS own single, "The Eminem Show" would still be
selling like hotcakes today, certainly in the Top Twenty, probably in
the Top
Ten. Steaming past ten million into legendary territory.
Once again, where's the PROBLEM?
It's OBVIOUSLY not with piracy. It's OBVIOUSLY with the MUSIC! Let me
clue you non-downloading fat cats in... If a CD has three or four
good tracks, you want the whole damn thing. You want the ORIGINAL! If
an
album's a throwaway, a few MP3s are fine. But, if something is GREAT,
you
want the pristine, authorized version, as a BADGE OF HONOR!! Don't speak
to me about logic, this is just a FACT! Ask ANYBODY! Same deal with
burned CDs. If the record's a classic, people have to have
the ORIGINAL!
Ergo, if more albums had three or four great tracks, people would cough
up
the fifteen bucks to BUY them.
But since they DON'T, sales are down.
People are voting with their pocketbooks. They'll buy when they think
something's GOOD!
But, but, BUT you say Bob. Are you telling me that when broadband
reaches
over fifty percent penetration, we'll STILL sell this many CDs? Shit, I
don't THINK so... Then again, maybe there's another way to look at
all this. Maybe downloading isn't cannibalizing AT ALL! Maybe it's
about
ADDITIONAL CUSTOMERS!!! Hell, maybe even some of these people who
discover
on the Net buy a CD they weren't even PLANNING TO! It's about expansion
of
the marketplace baby. THAT'S the paradigm. Not coming down on people
for
being desirous of something.
I think the days of the CD are over. But, based on the sales figures
for
this 50 Cent album, NOT YET!!!
3. L'il Kim
A second-rate rapper with a boob job.
This will have NO legs. People just don't CARE!
Let me ask you, how many real L'il Kim fans do you think there ARE?
Probably less than EVE fans, and HER last album proved there weren't
many of
THEM!!
THIS is what's wrong with the business. Why in the hell would ANYBODY
expect
these acts to have careers, sustain sales. Jay-Z, yes. Maybe even LL
Cool
J. But not THESE babes.
5. Evanescence
All you've got to know is it's on Wind-Up.
ANYBODY can have one big act. But TWO!
It's not like Wind-Up is Madison House, selling the String Cheese
Incident
outside the system. No, Wind-Up is beating the majors at THEIR OWN
GAME! Oh, you'll say it's about the Net. That Wind-Up uses new
marketing
techniques.
I just don't buy that.
Wind-Up seems to be able to pick acts PEOPLE want to HEAR!
The major A&R people are looking at acts that are too cool for the room.
Or
else, lowest common denominator tripe. Whereas Wind-Up is looking for
stuff
straight down the middle. Call it meat and potatoes. Whatever, people
WANT
their stuff, it's an UNDERSERVED MARKET!
Furthermore, Wind-Up is nimble. And the people there care and will work
for
RESULTS for THEIR OWN SAKE, not purely for a paycheck like at the major
labels.
Maybe the exodus should be reversed. Instead of the indies picking up
players shed by the majors, the MAJORS should pick up some of these
indie
players, pay them just a little bit more, INCENTIVIZE them.
All the creative thinking. All the hard work. All the EXCITEMENT is at
the
indies.
And now the sales are there too.
18. Audioslave
The person responsible for this must have been the same person
responsible
for sticking Gary Cherone with Van Halen. Once you start building bands
on
paper... Or, then again, once BUSINESS PEOPLE/MANAGERS start building
bands...
Let's look at history.
MOST bands grow up together. Oh, you might find a better drummer
somewhere,
but the whole...is more than the sum of its parts.
Put together acts. Souther, Hillman, Furay...put together by David
Geffen,
the guys HATED each other and never broke through.
I've never known Chris Cornell to go on record on political issues.
What in
the HELL is he doing with Tom Morello?
Tom...sure, it's disillusioning to lose your lead singer, but that's
LIFE!
To TRY to stay on top, to TRY and not lose any momentum, is
like...jumping
into a new relationship after your marriage ends. What do they call
that,
the REBOUND!
Yup, Audioslave is a REBOUND band. It's a FACSIMILE of a band. The
more you
listen, IF you can listen, you tell yourself...this doesn't feel right,
this
doesn't work, I'm OUTTA HERE!
Music, a BAND, is not made on paper. It comes out of emotions.
Audioslave is a MERGER. And it sounds like one. It's just Asia a
little bit
heavier. And I mean that as an indictment.
Then again, Asia sold more records than Audioslave ever will. And once
again, is Audioslave a shitty name or WHAT!!
