> When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
> diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with
> walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through
> year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to
> their
> one-room schoolhouse where they maintained straight-A average despite
their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for
> 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death.
>
> And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had
it and how easy they've got it.
>
> But....
>
> Now that I've reached the ripe old age of * twenty-seven, * I can't help
but look around and notice the youth of today.
>
> You've got it so freaking' easy. I mean, compared to my childhood, you
live in a damned Utopia. And I hate to say it, but you kids today don't know
how good you've got it.
>
> I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet - when we wanted to
> know something, we had to go to the damned library and look it up
ourselves. And there was no e-mail. We had to actually write somebody a letter-with a
> pen -- and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it
in the freaking' mailbox and it would take like a week to get there.
>
> And there were no MP3s or Napsters. You wanted to steal music, you had to go
> to the damned record store and shoplift it yourself. Or we had to wait
> around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the
> beginning and screw it all up.
>
> You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn. You had
to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11. It
was either that or jackoff to the lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog.
> Those were your options.
>
> We didn't have fancy things like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone
and somebody else called, they got a busy signal. And we didn't have fancy
> Caller ID Boxes either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was.
It could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you
> didn't know. You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister.
>
> And we didn't have any fancy Game Cube video games with high-resolution
3-D graphics - we had the Atari 2600. And you could tell who the rich kids
were - they had Intellivision (and eventually ColecoVision). We didn't have
> Grand Theft Auto and Mortal Kombat .... we had games like "Space Invaders,"
> "Pong Sports," and "Asteroids" - and the graphics sucked ass. Your guy was
a little square. And there were no multiple levels or screens - it was just
> one screen ... forever. They didn't have any "How to Win at ... " books -
if they did, "How to Win at Space Invaders" would be one line long - "Don't
get shot." And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and
faster until you died. Just like LIFE.
>
> When you went to the movie theater, there no such thing as stadium
seating. All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy sat in front of you, you
> were screwed. And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was
only like 20 channels and there was no on screen menu. You had to use a little
> book called a "TV Guide" to find out what was on. And there was no Cartoon
> Network. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning ...... d'ya hear
> what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards.
>
> That's exactly what I'm talking about. You kids today have got it too
easy.
> You're spoiled, I swear to God. You guys wouldn't last five minutes back
in 1984.
> diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with
> walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through
> year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to
> their
> one-room schoolhouse where they maintained straight-A average despite
their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for
> 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death.
>
> And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had
it and how easy they've got it.
>
> But....
>
> Now that I've reached the ripe old age of * twenty-seven, * I can't help
but look around and notice the youth of today.
>
> You've got it so freaking' easy. I mean, compared to my childhood, you
live in a damned Utopia. And I hate to say it, but you kids today don't know
how good you've got it.
>
> I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet - when we wanted to
> know something, we had to go to the damned library and look it up
ourselves. And there was no e-mail. We had to actually write somebody a letter-with a
> pen -- and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it
in the freaking' mailbox and it would take like a week to get there.
>
> And there were no MP3s or Napsters. You wanted to steal music, you had to go
> to the damned record store and shoplift it yourself. Or we had to wait
> around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the
> beginning and screw it all up.
>
> You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn. You had
to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11. It
was either that or jackoff to the lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog.
> Those were your options.
>
> We didn't have fancy things like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone
and somebody else called, they got a busy signal. And we didn't have fancy
> Caller ID Boxes either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was.
It could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you
> didn't know. You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister.
>
> And we didn't have any fancy Game Cube video games with high-resolution
3-D graphics - we had the Atari 2600. And you could tell who the rich kids
were - they had Intellivision (and eventually ColecoVision). We didn't have
> Grand Theft Auto and Mortal Kombat .... we had games like "Space Invaders,"
> "Pong Sports," and "Asteroids" - and the graphics sucked ass. Your guy was
a little square. And there were no multiple levels or screens - it was just
> one screen ... forever. They didn't have any "How to Win at ... " books -
if they did, "How to Win at Space Invaders" would be one line long - "Don't
get shot." And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and
faster until you died. Just like LIFE.
>
> When you went to the movie theater, there no such thing as stadium
seating. All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy sat in front of you, you
> were screwed. And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was
only like 20 channels and there was no on screen menu. You had to use a little
> book called a "TV Guide" to find out what was on. And there was no Cartoon
> Network. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning ...... d'ya hear
> what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards.
>
> That's exactly what I'm talking about. You kids today have got it too
easy.
> You're spoiled, I swear to God. You guys wouldn't last five minutes back
in 1984.
