Dealing with loss...
- Thread starter mrskrilla
- Start date
When I was 15, I had a friend die. And it didn't seem real because a day or so before we'd been on the phone joking around. It was like I was being lied to by a mutual friend we had. I heard him telling me what happened, but it wasn't like it could be real. It couldn't be real because we had just spoken. Things like that don't happen to kids when they're friends. It was a really terrifying feeling of helplessness because there was nothing I could do. Couldn't say goodbye, couldn't finish our conversation, couldn't deal with it and couldn't change it. It's like I hit a wall. Made me very afraid of dying. He died in a car accident. He had not had his license that long and he somehow went off a road.
It happened long ago and in many ways I still can't deal with it. Like I keep expecting him to call me or show up like it was all some weird misunderstanding. Because he was too awesome to die. He was one of the few people who understood me at that time when I had few friends. When he left, I had trouble making new friends for awhile. I also became paranoid about the friends I already had, because I was scared they would leave me too. I'm sure that sounds sad, but I was young and it shook my world.
It happened long ago and in many ways I still can't deal with it. Like I keep expecting him to call me or show up like it was all some weird misunderstanding. Because he was too awesome to die. He was one of the few people who understood me at that time when I had few friends. When he left, I had trouble making new friends for awhile. I also became paranoid about the friends I already had, because I was scared they would leave me too. I'm sure that sounds sad, but I was young and it shook my world.
Talk to someone about it, let your feelings out, if you don't it will haunt you for years and years. Talking about it helps you let go, and you have to let go. You never forget, but you need to let go for your own well being, because you have to continue living.
Just my two cents, my experience, I waited too long to let go.
Just my two cents, my experience, I waited too long to let go.
My first real experience with death was a when I was 14.. a very close friend of mine had moved to Texas and a couple months later was hit by a drunk driver and killed.. we wrote letters all the time back and forth and I received her last letter to me 2 weeks after she passed. Her sister was going thru her things and found it on her nightstand ready to mail out, so she mailed it to me.. .. I kept the letter for several days before I opened it because I was afraid of the pain I would feel when I read her final words to me..
When I was 15 my boy took a bullet in the neck, dude actually lived for an hour after he took the bullet, I couldn't imagine what that would be like sitting there for an hour with a bullet in your neck.
It happened to him during the morning one day, he skipped class and this shit happened to him, he asked me the afternoon before to skip my last class and smoke some bud and I said nah and then this shit happened, kinda wish I went the day before.
It happened to him during the morning one day, he skipped class and this shit happened to him, he asked me the afternoon before to skip my last class and smoke some bud and I said nah and then this shit happened, kinda wish I went the day before.
i lozt my grandma thiz pazt chriztmaz. she died in her bed N my grandpa found her dead chriztmaz mornin. after goin 2 the funeral N everything i still dont believe shez gone i seen them lower her 2 the ground N everythin but i still dont believe it. but i guezz i have 2 cuz i wont be seein her anymo. itz goin 2 be weird goin 2 her houze N not seein her anymo. bcuz she waz alwayz at the houze she neva left.
I've lost several family members, but the one that hit me the hardest was losing one of my best friends in 03 at the age of 19.
^^^ For me, that's what worked the best. Talk about it with the people you're close too. Keep it out in the open, and know that other people are going thru the same thing you are. Keeping your emotions supressed will do nothing but put a strain on your life.
^^^ For me, that's what worked the best. Talk about it with the people you're close too. Keep it out in the open, and know that other people are going thru the same thing you are. Keeping your emotions supressed will do nothing but put a strain on your life.
I went to a funeral once, years ago.. for a woman that had done some wonderful things for me when I was goin' thru it.. anyway.. it was the most depressing funeral of all time and aftwards when folks got together it was worse- for days afterward I was still upset and near tears....so different from most all of my family and close friends that have passed, their funerals have been celebrations of their life and theres been laughter and 'spirits' afterwards... remembering who they were, good times, funny memories, etc.. death is never an easy thing to go thru.. but it depends on how youre raised to see it.. deal with it.. mourn and/or celebrate it..
ive been surounded by death.. man... shit crazy, but... its helped me deal wit how the circle of life works, and makes me more ready for my day of judgement
i was tryin to compile a list of people ive lost that were close to me, but its very long, and i cant remember the dates or years that clear anymore... more recently tho, in the past 2 years, there has been 7 people close to me get killed... 4 in 05, and 3 in 04.. and its no good.. but it makes you understand life more...
if your asking because you lost someone close to you, then im sorry for your loss, just know the pain wont last forever
i was tryin to compile a list of people ive lost that were close to me, but its very long, and i cant remember the dates or years that clear anymore... more recently tho, in the past 2 years, there has been 7 people close to me get killed... 4 in 05, and 3 in 04.. and its no good.. but it makes you understand life more...
if your asking because you lost someone close to you, then im sorry for your loss, just know the pain wont last forever
It's hard to talk to people about it sometimes but I know it's the right thing to do. I'm still working on that. As emotional as I can be, I bottle up the deeper hurts.
I've known people who have been dealt one cruel blow after the other. Lost people left and right. And they cried, and they healed. They're tough people, but they don't let it turn them bitter. They know what it feels like, but they're not growing cold. They'll talk about it with me and it's like they're wiser than their years.
Years later, it's almost kind of sad to think that I still accidently try to dial his number to see what's up. And then I remember. Takes awhile for some people.
I've known people who have been dealt one cruel blow after the other. Lost people left and right. And they cried, and they healed. They're tough people, but they don't let it turn them bitter. They know what it feels like, but they're not growing cold. They'll talk about it with me and it's like they're wiser than their years.
Years later, it's almost kind of sad to think that I still accidently try to dial his number to see what's up. And then I remember. Takes awhile for some people.