Blight's Incredible Fucking Stories #1 (The Odd, Funny and Addicting stories)
- Thread starter Blight
- Start date
Drug stories are the fun stories.
Date: Late 1998, or early 1999.
Setting: San Francisco.
I went to upper haight in order to get mexican food for lunch before my 5:00pm, Three hour long art history class at Academy of Art. Some of yall might know the mexican food spot im talking about. The red building, across the street from the bank on haight. (just bieng descriptive so you know i aint makin shit up.)
So I ate a big ass fuckin 6 dollar burrito and i remember the exact things i had inside of it. Black beans, sour cream, guacamole, carne, cheese. the reason WHY i still remember the contents of the burrito will be explained later.
I'm walking down Haight. At this time I was sort of involved with the drug scene out on the streets, meaning i knew most of the panhandlers, beggars, squatters, homeless, hippies, drug addicts. Well i ran across a group of kids i had known from before who were currently tweeking their asses off, as noted by the red faced white girl that exclaimed randomly: "DoOd IM SO SPUNNN!!"
Anyways, I made a last-moment decision to buy LSD from them because i knew they was holdin'. And since the girl was tweeking her little tits off, She pulled a sheet (sheet of acid. thats alot of acid.) and rips off this huge piece. Charges me 5 dollars. I'm happy.
So anyways i take what i believe is the 71 bus on haight east down market till i get near golden gate college, where my class was. With a big ass piece of acid in my pocket.
Well, Art history class is 3 hours. shit gets boring, the teacher decides to put on music for all of us to listen to. shit like beethoven, mozart, etc. So i was jammin' to some classical and all the sudden said why not.
broke out the blotter papers. and as beethoven played i began to rip off tab-sized piece of acid and chew on them. I did this about 10 times before i realized that i might need to stop. In a way i almost felt like i got ripped off, they were blank blotters and you never know with acid until your number is called.
well halfmark through the 3 hour class (one hour, 30 minutes) the music was starting to sound like a combination of animal wailing and CP30 from star wars trying to scream on a nigga. To say the least it freaked me the fuck out and i had to leave IMMEDIATELY. so i grabbed my shit and ran up those fucking stairs like the whole auditorium was covered in insects and worms.
I got outside and i immediately felt like fuckin' kunta kinte running from massas house. I remember looking around and having no idea where i was and feeling this state of panic.
did i mention i was new to san francisco?
so here i am on what has to be like 9-11 hits of acid walking around a world of gigantic buildings and thes buses and cars humming by. I'd look at the cars and id see 20 of the same cars behind it in frames.
So i start walking. I have no fucking idea where i am. Eventually, i stumble my wide-eyed ass into the wonderful, beautiful world which is tenderloin.
feel free to google image "san francisco tenderloin district" to get me.
So this is where the burrito comes in.
I'm walking up a hill and i can feel this energy just surging in and out of my body. all the sudden my body let me know that the burrito has to bounce.
I'm walking past this chinese food place as i say this in my head. you know those food places with huge windows where people face the street and eat their food?
i throw up ALL OVER the window in front of these people eating. I will never in my life be able to explain the horror i saw on those peoples faces as i wiped my mouth and continued to walk up the hill.
i notice the 36 geary which takes me home. i try to get on it. everyone on the bus is staring directly at me and they know what just happened and what im on. i get off the bus and i feel like everyones laughing.
i decide to try to walk home. in the middle of this near chinatown, i throw up all over a tree. The LSD had REALLY came on by then. I sat there for a few minutes, tripping off of seeing my throw up drip down the rough texture of a tree. Cars pass by and their lights shine upon the throw up and wood, making for some sort of fireworks display.
i snap out of it and try to continue walking. well the cars in the street are coming towards me (im on the curb) and i felt like every car was gonna hit me. and that bothered me because i had this extreme guilt of some poor soul having to clean up my guts because i was stupid.
a dozen blocks later i try to get BACK on the bus. lights are flickering on the bus. cant take it. get off.
if you know where downtown san fran is and you know where ocean beach is, i walked that. that might be 60-80 blocks.
and when i made it home i took a bath. and i ripped the fucking bath handle out of the wall trying to figure out how "hot" and "cold" worked.
then i got out of the bath lit an insense and looked at a picture book that has racist images. you know, liek the black guy hanging on the tree with all the white people around them, pictures of dogs biting clothes off of black people, fire hoses sprayed on them.
i was THIS close to going up stairs and killing my landlord because i felt it was my duty as a black man to kill white people.
oh yeah. the insense stick?
burned a hole in my wall the size of my fist. never light insense on acid, you WILL forget it exists.
Date: Late 1998, or early 1999.
Setting: San Francisco.
I went to upper haight in order to get mexican food for lunch before my 5:00pm, Three hour long art history class at Academy of Art. Some of yall might know the mexican food spot im talking about. The red building, across the street from the bank on haight. (just bieng descriptive so you know i aint makin shit up.)
So I ate a big ass fuckin 6 dollar burrito and i remember the exact things i had inside of it. Black beans, sour cream, guacamole, carne, cheese. the reason WHY i still remember the contents of the burrito will be explained later.
I'm walking down Haight. At this time I was sort of involved with the drug scene out on the streets, meaning i knew most of the panhandlers, beggars, squatters, homeless, hippies, drug addicts. Well i ran across a group of kids i had known from before who were currently tweeking their asses off, as noted by the red faced white girl that exclaimed randomly: "DoOd IM SO SPUNNN!!"
Anyways, I made a last-moment decision to buy LSD from them because i knew they was holdin'. And since the girl was tweeking her little tits off, She pulled a sheet (sheet of acid. thats alot of acid.) and rips off this huge piece. Charges me 5 dollars. I'm happy.
So anyways i take what i believe is the 71 bus on haight east down market till i get near golden gate college, where my class was. With a big ass piece of acid in my pocket.
Well, Art history class is 3 hours. shit gets boring, the teacher decides to put on music for all of us to listen to. shit like beethoven, mozart, etc. So i was jammin' to some classical and all the sudden said why not.
broke out the blotter papers. and as beethoven played i began to rip off tab-sized piece of acid and chew on them. I did this about 10 times before i realized that i might need to stop. In a way i almost felt like i got ripped off, they were blank blotters and you never know with acid until your number is called.
well halfmark through the 3 hour class (one hour, 30 minutes) the music was starting to sound like a combination of animal wailing and CP30 from star wars trying to scream on a nigga. To say the least it freaked me the fuck out and i had to leave IMMEDIATELY. so i grabbed my shit and ran up those fucking stairs like the whole auditorium was covered in insects and worms.
I got outside and i immediately felt like fuckin' kunta kinte running from massas house. I remember looking around and having no idea where i was and feeling this state of panic.
did i mention i was new to san francisco?
so here i am on what has to be like 9-11 hits of acid walking around a world of gigantic buildings and thes buses and cars humming by. I'd look at the cars and id see 20 of the same cars behind it in frames.
So i start walking. I have no fucking idea where i am. Eventually, i stumble my wide-eyed ass into the wonderful, beautiful world which is tenderloin.
feel free to google image "san francisco tenderloin district" to get me.
So this is where the burrito comes in.
I'm walking up a hill and i can feel this energy just surging in and out of my body. all the sudden my body let me know that the burrito has to bounce.
I'm walking past this chinese food place as i say this in my head. you know those food places with huge windows where people face the street and eat their food?
i throw up ALL OVER the window in front of these people eating. I will never in my life be able to explain the horror i saw on those peoples faces as i wiped my mouth and continued to walk up the hill.
i notice the 36 geary which takes me home. i try to get on it. everyone on the bus is staring directly at me and they know what just happened and what im on. i get off the bus and i feel like everyones laughing.
i decide to try to walk home. in the middle of this near chinatown, i throw up all over a tree. The LSD had REALLY came on by then. I sat there for a few minutes, tripping off of seeing my throw up drip down the rough texture of a tree. Cars pass by and their lights shine upon the throw up and wood, making for some sort of fireworks display.
i snap out of it and try to continue walking. well the cars in the street are coming towards me (im on the curb) and i felt like every car was gonna hit me. and that bothered me because i had this extreme guilt of some poor soul having to clean up my guts because i was stupid.
a dozen blocks later i try to get BACK on the bus. lights are flickering on the bus. cant take it. get off.
if you know where downtown san fran is and you know where ocean beach is, i walked that. that might be 60-80 blocks.
and when i made it home i took a bath. and i ripped the fucking bath handle out of the wall trying to figure out how "hot" and "cold" worked.
then i got out of the bath lit an insense and looked at a picture book that has racist images. you know, liek the black guy hanging on the tree with all the white people around them, pictures of dogs biting clothes off of black people, fire hoses sprayed on them.
i was THIS close to going up stairs and killing my landlord because i felt it was my duty as a black man to kill white people.
oh yeah. the insense stick?
burned a hole in my wall the size of my fist. never light insense on acid, you WILL forget it exists.
One day me and Hulk Hogan were getting some chili dogs, and this guy came up to us and asked us for change. He said "hey, I know you guys....you're Lenard Skenard." we laughed because that always happens to us. anyways, we start singing sweet home alabama, and this guy starts crying and shit telling us how we were his favorite band. hogan said "if we're your favorites, then give us back the change we gave you, and we'll sing you another song." the bum gave us back the change, we bought more fries, and ate them in front of the bum.
HAHAAHA.....what a character that Hogan is.
HAHAAHA.....what a character that Hogan is.
