Heres a bulletin recently....
This is a note to all you people out there that were dumb enough to join myspace mafia and that other pet bullshit. Seriously I mean it in the nicest way. But, FUCK OFF! FUCK YOU GUY's mafia and everything else too. I don't give a shit if your mafia is dying. Your bulletins and messages are straight fucking clutter. I don't give a fuck if someone named Amanda is your pet and she's for sale! How the fuck is buying some fake myspace pet going to brighten my day. HEY TOM! FUCK YOU! Fuck you for letting this garbage into myspace you fucking money driven slut! Your just as annoying as the bulletins I speak of. If I could see you i'd stab you in the nuts with a spork. And Whats with you people who post bulletins about wanting people to repost some shit to know they read your bulletins? Like your gonna fucking cry because there's FAKE people who don't read your bulletins. What kind of shit is that? I mean get a fucking life! And survey's? Come on people. I don't give a fuck what you were thinking about when you watched the notebook for the first time and I really, really dont give a fuck if you've been fingered in a movie theatre. I don't care where you lost your virginity, and I really don't give a flying fuck where you had your first kiss. I don't give a shit what your lucky numbers are and the world will not change if you spend 45 minutes wasting time on a god damn muther fucking survey.
And I'm kind of sick of getting invites to Myspace Texas Hold-Em. I'm not even gonna go into this further. Myspace, just go eat a dick for this one.
Now I hate to hate on the next type of bullshit bulletins, but it is nessecary. I know you all care that Timmy needs an organ transplant and if you don't re-post the bulletin he's going to die. The good news is, yes, you all have feelings, and are great people because you care about Timmy and hope he gets the ten cents for the bulletin being re-posted. The bad news is two things. One, nobody is getting ten cents for any of these useless bullshit bulletins being re posted and making a virtual landfill out of myspace webspace. Two, Timmy is gonna die either way probably. Wait, he's already dead. Yes, dead before this stupid bulletin made it's way into a pile of myspace shit.
People. Bulletins are to announce something worthwhile. It's like a bulletin board. (WHOAH? SERIOUSLY?) You ever gone into an ace hardware? Ever been to a laundry mat? Well those places have nifty bulletin boards where people can post a message to get peoples attention. Maybe a bar needs a waitress. Maybe a band needs a bass player.
Maybe someones skanky daughter can baby sit after school, whatever! Fucking get it?
You wouldn't exactly post a whole survey about how you lost your virginity on prom night to a cocktail weenie that gave youa rufie would you? You know what kind of creeps hang out at laundry mats? Some of those creeps are your friends! You just don't know it yet until you catch them smelling your underwear! I bet if there was a virtual myspace laundry basket, you people would stuff it full of soild panties and boxers for the world to sniff!
Get a fuckin life people!
And fuck your bulletins!