True Story....Old Lady and Face Full of Noodles

[MRTHECOSE]

About ayear ago this time I was doing laundry in my aparments laundry room. And there are sum little kids squirting guns at each other. When they see there is a faucet in the laundry room and head over to refill. I aiint trippin as long as they don't wet my dry shit or me. So the first one fills up and bounce and his little bro probably 4yrs old goes in and I guess the grandama was walking behind them(eating a bowl of noodles) the whole time cuz as soon as he goes in she looks over and runs toward the laundry room screaming "quack quack" sum shit. Right when she hits the threshhold bam! She eats shit right in front of me and the kid face hits the bowl of noodles and the floor simultaniously damn I had to hold it in cuz I was trying to help her up and she refused help. She got up all noodles in her hair and shit rubbing her knees head hahahahahahahaha damn that was great. Me and the kid looked at her as she walked out I continued doing laundry he stood there dumb founded tell she walked back in and snatched his ass.

Anyone else got an old lady falling story?

 

[DASICCLV702]

YA I WAS UP IN SKOOL IN SCIENCE DOIN MY WORK I SWEAR THIS IS THE MEANEST BITCH YOU WILL EVER MEET SHE UGLY TOO ANYWAYS ONE DAY I WAS TALKIN WIT THE HOMIE AND SHE BITCHIN AND BITCHIN AND BITCHIN (SHE ALWAYS DOES) BOUT HOW WE TALKIN AND TALKIN SO SHES PASSIN OUT PAPERS GOIN AROUND THE DESKS(THE FLOOR WAS TILE) THERE WAS THIS PEN CAP ON THE FLOOR AND SHE STEPPED ON IT AND SLIPPED AND DID A SUPER MAN AND FELL AND BELLY BOPPED ON THE FLOOR (YOU KNOW HOW U DO IT IN THE POOL) AND ALL YOU HEAR IS FLIIIIISH, BOOM,AND THE U HEAR HER SAY"OOOOOOOH SHIT" I SWEAR THE CLASS BUSTED OUT LAUGHIN LIKE A MOTHAFUCKA (WE DIDNT HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR THAT OLD CRANKY FAT BITCH SHE WAS MEAN) SO SHE GOT UP RUBBING HER ARM I GUESS THATS WHAT SHE LANDED ON CUZ I GUESS HER STOMACH SAVED HER LIFE FROM BITING THE FLOOR ANYWAYS SHE GOT ALL EMBARRASED AND TURNED RED AND TOLD THE CLASS TO "SHUT UP" HAHAHA GOOD DAYS GOOD DAYS

 

[VSTXDJ]

I was on bart one day on my way to work and we stop at civic center. This old lady hops on the bart anD trips on the Gap between the train and the platform. She falls all crooked and lands on her back and as she falls the bart doors closed on her hahahahahahha. Shit was fucked up but funny as fuck non the less.

 

[MRTHECOSE]

Lol ohhh damn that last one kills . Fuckin door closing on her hahahahahaha.

 

[BOMBSAC]

cuz as soon as he goes in she looks over and runs toward the laundry room screaming "quack quack" sum shit.
Anyone else got an old lady falling story?

LMAO!!
i can imagin that....a while back my husband and i were at blockbuster and we were sitting in the car with the doors open waiting for my older daugher to come out...anyways there was this hindu lady with her kids trying to get them into the car and they were all runnin around and shit and she started screaming at them like "WA WA WA WA WA" hella loud, we started crackin up, she hella just threw them in the car and took off...its hella funny cus sometimes when the kids arent minding, we will hella yell at them like "WA WA WA WA WA" they just look at us like were crazy lol

all these stories are hella funny!

 

[:ab:]

^^^^lol that was a good one

i don't have a old lady falling down story
but when i was in college, we were at these apartments
and everyone was hella partying cuz it was the end of the school year
this one white girl comes walking down the stairs
and she mistakingly thought there was another step or something but
she stepped and fell face down in the dirt (where the landscaping/plants were at)
and she was so embarrassed
it took her a minute to get up, not because she was hurt
but because there was like hundred plus people laughing at her
good times

 

[YadadiFresh]

LOL yall are wrong. i admit i laugh when it happens but damn, i feel bad. hahaha

 

[LeScrapper]

i got 2 funny ass stories. Ight the first one goes, me and my homie were chillin during our lunch at in-n-out and we were just grubbin, this little square ass wanna be bmx rider kid comes in and starts muggin, i wasnt trippin cuz this fool was hella square and id beat his ass like it was nothin. so anyways we're all just eatin and this fool is still muggin, so i was like fuck this imma wait for his ass outside. So i waited for him to come out, as soon as he came out i yelled "aye bitch, u got a motha fuckin problem or what?!" and he went on sayin some dumb shit, so i was like whatever, this kid is like 16 and im 18 so i cant really do shit with these rent a cops around, so we walk to our cars and the kid jumps on his bike, as me and my homie were on our way to the car the kid yells out "fuck both u bitches!" i was like hell naw this fool did not just say that shit, so i start to run after him. This fool thought that he was hella cool so when he took off on his bike he was goin hella fast and he cut thru the drive thru while doin a wheelie, as soon as he got in the drive thru he scrubbed hella hard and flew into a bush and his bike hit this car in the drive thru, so me and my homie bounced. shit was hella funny.

the next one happened while i was on bart, i forgot where i was going exactly but i was just chillin there waitin to get to where ever it was i was goin, when these 2 def kids walk in. at first i was like wtf are these fools def for real? and i just watched them as they were signing to each other and then went on about my business. About 10 mins into the ride, one of them jumps up and starts makin some noise like he was tryin to yell, then the other dude jumps up and starts doin the same shit. i was like oh shit im bout to see a retard fight so i bust out my video camera on my phone. these fools were hella arguing using hand signals, that shit was so fuckin funny i couldnt stop laughin, cuz they were makin some funny ass noises and i had never seen some one sign as fast as they were. so time went by and they cooled down, then they started doin it again but this time one of them walked away and was tryin to get to the next car, but the driver of the train hit the brakes and this fool went face first into the door, the other def dude was hella tryin to laugh but all that came out nothin, i was rollin hella hard when i seen that.

both fucked up, but funny

 

[J-Boeg]

about 2 weeks ago i was at my friends grandpa's funeral and his grandma was on stage talking...she was done and i guess she forgot ahe was on steps or something cuz she took one step to the side and ate shit...she fell down like 6 stairs...she was ok though

 

[VSTXDJ]

AHAHAH ^^ THAT DEAF KID ONE WAS FUNNY. I GOT ANOTHER ONE MANG.

In my african history class there was this old as man that would sit next to me. So one day he comes into the class hella late and breathing hard as fuck ( i guess he ran to class). So he makes this big scene when he walks into the class and hella speed walks to his seat, someone exchanged seats and took his because the other one had a big ass piece broken off of it. At a glance the seat looks normal but theres only half of the part left on where you put your ass. So this guy sits down sideway thinkin he gone grab the edge of the seat, but there's nothing there and he falls ass down hella hard. He made an "ummblughkhmmph" noise and just sat on the ground for like a minute. I offer him some help to get up and he's all proud talkin bout "naw i can do it myself" . Keep in mind this fucker is on the floor surrounded by desk. I say fuck it and leave him alone, so this fucker tries to get back up and busts the shit out of his head on the under part of his desk and falls back down making thata wierd ass gurgling/moan/screech sound again hahahahahahahah, HOLY shit that was funny ass fuck and i couldnt help but laugh. I offered him help again and that time he was like "yeah thanks man"

 

[MRTHECOSE]

This one is about me.
I worked at Great America in santa clara in the rides dept. So one day I was taking people off the old school cars on a bullshit track underneath The Grizzley. I would pull a lever and control gas and brake on the side of the car to take people to the exit. They'd hop out and I would load the next and letem go.
I thought I was o.g. Pimpshit when I learned to use my leg on the lever. Its stupid to think that's cool but I was barely 18 fuck it.
I'm wearing shorts and I unload then load a kid then blam! I fall ass backwards hard as fuck on the street and curb all fucked up like. People in line laff but not roaring laughter like what was coming.
So I had a rip in my shorts and got my white shirt dirty no big deal.
I go to tell the lead what happened and I explained exactly what I did and demonstraited. Bam!! On my ass again! And my shorts completely ripped off the middle big gaping hole. Thunderous laughter for about 5-10 seconds I brush my self off walk right past the lead told him 'I'm going to the nurse' and people got quite cuz I wasn't acting all ass hurt about it. And I walked my ripped up short wearing ass through Great America like a perv or sum shit and went to the nurse. Yup.

 

[Defy]

damn....I gotta bounce and I only read half of them....but they're hella funny....well, except for j-boeg's....you suck j-boeg....

I'mma tell another one later, but back in summer school me and my potna was walking up to the store during the break in between classes, and this broad he was kinda talkin to was driving up in a clean ass 'maro....well we look over at her as she's turning, and she's hella mean muggin like she's better than us cuz she's driving, and the bitch hella ran into a big ass truck.....she got all butt hurt cuz we were rollin on the floor laughing at her ass for at least 10 minutes

 

[:ab:]

Damn some of these are hella funny

 

[MRTHECOSE]

i agree blunthogg