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Calm 1 NPK 503

Calm 1 NPK 503

Sicc OG
#1
Feb 21, 2003
3,397
55
0
www.myspace.com
#1
Danny works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Danny! How ya doin?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Danny. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Danny if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know that you drink Budweiser."

"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."

A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Danny. "Hi Danny," she says, "Want your usual table dance?"

Danny's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Danny follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Danny!"
 
Calm 1 NPK 503

Calm 1 NPK 503

Sicc OG
#2
Feb 21, 2003
3,397
55
0
www.myspace.com
#2
Four Catholic Women

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, 'My son is a Priest. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Father'. The second one chirps 'My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, everyone says 'your Grace'.' The third Catholic lady says smugly, 'My son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Eminence'.' The fourth Catholic lady sips her coffee in silence. The first three ladies all ask, 'Well...?' She replies, 'My son is a 6' 2' hard-bodied stripper, and hung like a rhino. When he walks into a room, everyone says, 'Oh, my God...'
 
Calm 1 NPK 503

Calm 1 NPK 503

Sicc OG
#3
Feb 21, 2003
3,397
55
0
www.myspace.com
#3
Hospital Donator

So there was this hospital, and a stuffy old rich lady that was going to donate money for the much needed new wing.
The administrator of the hospital was giving the stuffy old bag the run down and the guided tour of the facility.
As they walked past a room, the old lady saw a nurse jacking a patient off.
She said "Well I never"
without missing a beat the administrator explained, "This patient has a condition that creates way to much semen, if he is not re leaved 4 times a day the pain is not tolerable."
So they continued with the tour.
Upon reaching the more private rooms, they passed a room where the nurse was giving a patient a blow job.
The old lady exclaimed "Well I never..."
Again the administrator without breaking stride said
" oh this patient has the same condition as the one we saw earlier. He just has better insurance........".
 
Calm 1 NPK 503

Calm 1 NPK 503

Sicc OG
#4
Feb 21, 2003
3,397
55
0
www.myspace.com
#4
The Sportsman's Double

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked okay for a 57-year-old.

We drank a bit, and a had a bit of a snuggle and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

"What's that?" I asked.

"It a mother and daughter threesome," she said.

I said, "No."

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

I went with her back to her place.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:































"Mom, you still awake?"
 
Calm 1 NPK 503

Calm 1 NPK 503

Sicc OG
#5
Feb 21, 2003
3,397
55
0
www.myspace.com
#5
The Pharmacists Daughter

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend: "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back: "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"
 
Calm 1 NPK 503

Calm 1 NPK 503

Sicc OG
#6
Feb 21, 2003
3,397
55
0
www.myspace.com
#6
Another Pharmacist Joke

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.

The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing,
fit to bust. The pharmacist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, if
the man returns, to follow him.

Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his
actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he
returns.

"So did you follow him?"

"I did."

"And...where did he go?"






































"Over to your house..."
 
Calm 1 NPK 503

Calm 1 NPK 503

Sicc OG
#8
Feb 21, 2003
3,397
55
0
www.myspace.com
#8
2 Families

Two families moved from Afghanistan to America.
When they arrived, the two fathers made a bet ..
After a year's time, whichever family had become
more Americanized would win.

A year later they got together.

The first man said, "My son is playing baseball, I ate McDonald's for
breakfast, and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud. How about you?"

The second man replied, " Fuck off, towel head"
 
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