texts from last night

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Jul 4, 2008

Basically people send in their (usually) drunken texts from the night before, and this site shares them for the world's amusement. Keeps me occupied for hours. A few examples:

(864): we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me

(210): I just want to hang out with her.
(916): You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.

(516): I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...

(434): well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Jul 25, 2007
those were drunken text messages? my drunken text messages would look like dis "heysi wslup myhk niggaiea!:L I gots somew hoesz witt me!!! HOllAWh!!"
Dec 9, 2005
(765): Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
(1-765): The power was out.

(762): Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

(510): my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Apr 26, 2003
East Oakland, USA
Some of those are long ass texts, that shit would take me 10 minutes to write. My texts are usually like 'where u at?' or 'i'll be there later' or 'fuck that' maybe im just bad at texting, but fuck that, men shouldnt be texting eachother anyways.


Allez Les Bleus 🌟🌟
Feb 27, 2006
Paris, France
(248): Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...

(248): Christians are straight up FREAKS

(305) 1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

(847): All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

(586): We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy

(313): oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing

(540): It was kinda weird being the boss
(1-540): Did you feel like Tony Danza?

(313): mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Aug 18, 2002
I just submitted this one...from a crazy ass fucking bitch that burglarized and vandalized my home over 10k damage...i got this txt like a month after that at like 4am

Look:I left your horrible, lying, lame, pathetic ass high && dry in the oncoming winter wind. Who fucking cares?? No one. Nobody but you.EVERYbody knows exactly why I did, whether it's in their face or not. Everybody but you.So stop keeping tabs on me through associates, stop getting folks to "talk" to me, stop ghostwriting, stop making me out to be the opposite of what you once boasted I was.... just all around fucking stop.You are sick. I was sick for having empathy towards a very grey entity with a bunch of fucked up issues that I do have the answers to, but said does not want to face them. Whoops!! My bad.I DO thank you for this sea of motivation that I'm swimming in because I do owe a fraction of my success to; you reminded me of how far one will go to prove that I AM on top of my game && the best for a legacy.I dare you to keep this up.I dare you to subpeona me with your bullshit.I dare you to spit my name out of your mouth everytime you feel the need.Drew, all you are!
doing is
fueling the fire... MY fire. I am the bigger, stronger, more stable individual; I've worked through all of my issues, on my own by the age of 21. I've been through && LEARNED from each && everyone of my experiences waaaay more/before you in your 29. I know how to spot the jealous && envious, that get upset at someone for doing what the fuck THEY cannot. Don't take it out on me, baby... I tried to give you knowledge, pick up where you were weak.I told you how I am, you should know how I be && where I'll go. So... YOU take a moment to think about what's right.Back the fuck off && up because what YOU are doing is not right.That's all I have to say; the rest you will hear via sources && media. This message was sent from a T-Mobile wireless phone.

Ne Obliviscaris

RIP Cut-Throat and SoCo
Dec 30, 2004
some of them make lots of sense:

(508): ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks