Should Gay couples be able to adopt?
- Thread starter JLMACN
- Start date
Once again, I ask if you can post a link to this "proven fact." Who are these psychologists that you speak of, because I know a few, and they would never support your claim. I'm sure you've encountered many gays, you just didn't know it because they feel forced to hide from the kind of ignorance that pervade your posts.
A lot of gays are child molesters? A lot of gays were abused and became gay because of that?
Hm, well... Ok...?
I guess I know the RARE few gays that are gay just because they are attracted to their own gender. My friend James has never been abused, and was raised by two awesome parents. His mom and dad are really good people. James just wasn't attracted to girls as he was growing up. It wasn't that he chose not to be attracted to them. He was attracted to boys though. He's really cool, and his boyfriend is a great guy.
I won't argue that there have been women out there who were abused and subsequently stopped trusting men. Or men who were abused as children and the same thing happened. It happens. But it's not the standard.
As you grow up, your personality and sexual identity begin to develop. I've never met a gay 6 year old, because at 6 there shouldn't BE a sexual identity. If there IS, then someone has been doing that child very horrible injustices. Childhood is for learning and growing. Now when you're 13 or so and beginning to feel certain ways for certain people, it's possible to feel strange about it. It's not like my friend chose not to be attracted to women. It just wasn't how he was built.
Hm, well... Ok...?
I guess I know the RARE few gays that are gay just because they are attracted to their own gender. My friend James has never been abused, and was raised by two awesome parents. His mom and dad are really good people. James just wasn't attracted to girls as he was growing up. It wasn't that he chose not to be attracted to them. He was attracted to boys though. He's really cool, and his boyfriend is a great guy.
I won't argue that there have been women out there who were abused and subsequently stopped trusting men. Or men who were abused as children and the same thing happened. It happens. But it's not the standard.
As you grow up, your personality and sexual identity begin to develop. I've never met a gay 6 year old, because at 6 there shouldn't BE a sexual identity. If there IS, then someone has been doing that child very horrible injustices. Childhood is for learning and growing. Now when you're 13 or so and beginning to feel certain ways for certain people, it's possible to feel strange about it. It's not like my friend chose not to be attracted to women. It just wasn't how he was built.
No, I didn't.
Gay people don't become gay simply because of environmental factors. At six years old, we're all the same. IF a child of any gender is abused, they can become either very promiscuous with the opposite gender, or can shun the opposite gender. But that isn't a natural thing.
A small percentage of people who are gay perhaps had a rough childhood, but not the majority...
Two parents of the same gender will not magically turn a boy genetically destined to be straight into a gay. If they abused him, he might have some issues. But the same could be applied to a straight couple who abuses their child.
You are saying that most gays become gay because of a horrible experience during their childhood, and that they are more likely to abuse a child into being the same way. I am saying that this is not true.
I believe, 80% of the time, homosexuality is genetic. Good parents, straight or gay, would raise a child to be whatever the child wanted to be. Having two parents of the same gender isn't going to turn you gay. Having an abusive father and a weak mother will probably mess you up pretty bad.
At 6 years old, there is no sexual identity. Having gay parents isn't going to give a 6 year old a sexual identity. Growing up and discovering who you are is what does that when it happens naturally. Maybe having two parents of the same gender isn't "natural", but neither is a single parent situation or foster homes.
I am 100% for loving families who raise a child well. I am against abuse. If two men want to raise a child, and see themselves as fit parents, let them do it.
Gay people don't become gay simply because of environmental factors. At six years old, we're all the same. IF a child of any gender is abused, they can become either very promiscuous with the opposite gender, or can shun the opposite gender. But that isn't a natural thing.
A small percentage of people who are gay perhaps had a rough childhood, but not the majority...
Two parents of the same gender will not magically turn a boy genetically destined to be straight into a gay. If they abused him, he might have some issues. But the same could be applied to a straight couple who abuses their child.
You are saying that most gays become gay because of a horrible experience during their childhood, and that they are more likely to abuse a child into being the same way. I am saying that this is not true.
I believe, 80% of the time, homosexuality is genetic. Good parents, straight or gay, would raise a child to be whatever the child wanted to be. Having two parents of the same gender isn't going to turn you gay. Having an abusive father and a weak mother will probably mess you up pretty bad.
At 6 years old, there is no sexual identity. Having gay parents isn't going to give a 6 year old a sexual identity. Growing up and discovering who you are is what does that when it happens naturally. Maybe having two parents of the same gender isn't "natural", but neither is a single parent situation or foster homes.
I am 100% for loving families who raise a child well. I am against abuse. If two men want to raise a child, and see themselves as fit parents, let them do it.
wow...
good thread..
I do know some gay folks..i even have a family member that is "gay"..
he was molested at a young age..
and came out this way..
long story short..
every single gay person i have ever encountered....
is too emotionally distraught (sp?)..
to raise a child..
i think to myself...
what could a gay man teach my son about being a "real" man..?
what could a gay woman teach my son about being a "real" man..?
u r prolly gonna ask me....what do u mean by "real"?
well....
i wont argue my meaning and yours...cause my standards for my son...would most likely be very different than a typical gay person..
I dont agree with a gay couple raising a child..
i think it confuses a child...easily..
being that at a young age...
NO KID...knows that that they are gay...or not.
when my son sees his mother and I kiss or hug..
his understanding of a relationship develops...as Man-Woman..
now i think....what if he was with a gay couple..
he would see Man-man....woman-woman..
it would confuse a child Sexually...without a doubt..
then i think....what if that day comes where my son asks his gay -mother-father..
can i date boys?
what would they tell him???..
becuase what i see as "right" in my eyes are totally different than what they see as "right"..
If he wasnt "born" gay......his growing up around a gay couple....would infuence him to be gay.
no more or no less than if i was a abusive father...he may one day become abusive..
...
u get the picture..
5000
good thread..
I do know some gay folks..i even have a family member that is "gay"..
he was molested at a young age..
and came out this way..
long story short..
every single gay person i have ever encountered....
is too emotionally distraught (sp?)..
to raise a child..
i think to myself...
what could a gay man teach my son about being a "real" man..?
what could a gay woman teach my son about being a "real" man..?
u r prolly gonna ask me....what do u mean by "real"?
well....
i wont argue my meaning and yours...cause my standards for my son...would most likely be very different than a typical gay person..
I dont agree with a gay couple raising a child..
i think it confuses a child...easily..
being that at a young age...
NO KID...knows that that they are gay...or not.
when my son sees his mother and I kiss or hug..
his understanding of a relationship develops...as Man-Woman..
now i think....what if he was with a gay couple..
he would see Man-man....woman-woman..
it would confuse a child Sexually...without a doubt..
then i think....what if that day comes where my son asks his gay -mother-father..
can i date boys?
what would they tell him???..
becuase what i see as "right" in my eyes are totally different than what they see as "right"..
If he wasnt "born" gay......his growing up around a gay couple....would infuence him to be gay.
no more or no less than if i was a abusive father...he may one day become abusive..
...
u get the picture..
5000
I understand what you're saying, and I disagree with many of your points. I think that they are born out of an ignorance of gay people. Understand I'm not saying you're ignorant, I just think that you are not well versed on the subject. BTW this is a great thread, and question. I was born and raised in SF, so I've lived knowing gays, and gay couples who have raised kids, my whole life. I had friends of mine when I was growing up who had gay parents, so this is nothing new to me.
Honestly, the households with gay parents were no different from the ones with straight parents that I grew up around. Sometimes they were better, sometimes worse, but one thing that must be cleared up is that these "gay" households were not like some S&M parlor, with The Village people playing on a 24hr loop. I mean, I knew more "straight" households that were dysfunctional than the "gay" households I knew of.
I guess the real point that I'm trying to make is that these so called "gay" households were no different in terms of child rearing, there was love, understanding, and support... Sex, and sexuality was no more of an issue than in any other house.
In terms of a "real" man, and our definitions of real, yes you are right, everyone's deffinition will be different. That being said, my friends who were raised by gay parents, 2 of them, both men, have grown up to have integrity, be responsible, successful, and just all around cool people...oh and BTW they're both straight. In all my years, I've never known of a gay person pushing their sexuality onto anyone, including their kids. The preconcieved notions of gay people being so different from straight people, (obviously, I'm not speaking on the obvious difference), needs to realised and overcome.
Honestly, the households with gay parents were no different from the ones with straight parents that I grew up around. Sometimes they were better, sometimes worse, but one thing that must be cleared up is that these "gay" households were not like some S&M parlor, with The Village people playing on a 24hr loop. I mean, I knew more "straight" households that were dysfunctional than the "gay" households I knew of.
I guess the real point that I'm trying to make is that these so called "gay" households were no different in terms of child rearing, there was love, understanding, and support... Sex, and sexuality was no more of an issue than in any other house.
In terms of a "real" man, and our definitions of real, yes you are right, everyone's deffinition will be different. That being said, my friends who were raised by gay parents, 2 of them, both men, have grown up to have integrity, be responsible, successful, and just all around cool people...oh and BTW they're both straight. In all my years, I've never known of a gay person pushing their sexuality onto anyone, including their kids. The preconcieved notions of gay people being so different from straight people, (obviously, I'm not speaking on the obvious difference), needs to realised and overcome.
for all the folks saying that it's wrong because a young male needs an older male to look up to and a young female needs an older female to look up to .. you ever heard of a single parent home? young boys grow up with no one but their mother their whole life and seem to turn out fine. you all act as if a gay couple are going to be snorting coke and fucking each other in the ass while the kid hits them with whips .. get fucking real.