Reminds of me of a dude here at the base I'm at who went to the cop shop to report a laptop that was stolen from his room. The only thing about it though is he was drunk as a skunk and underage. In case you're not familiar with how the Military works, underage drinking is a HUGGGGGE deal. Even though I already got caught once but I got over that shit only cause I'm just such a shit hot troop. Anyway so he was like "my laptop got stolen out of my room" the cop says "oh yeah, let me see your i.d." dude shows it to him, next thing you know he's getting arrested.
Don't go to a Pig factory if you're under the influence of anything, no matter what. Duh!!!