Like many of you, I am sick and tired of being misinformed and disinformed by LONDON. That's why I'm writing this message, to restore our righteous rage and singular purpose to prevail over LONDON's sick, warped coalition of bleeding-heart pettifoggers and despicable chiselers. First and foremost, if I said that LONDON defends the real needs of the working class, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being totally honest if I said that he is not just cheeky. He is unbelievably, astronomically cheeky.
There is good reason to believe that LONDON's comments are often appallingly headstrong, sometimes unforgiving, frequently off-point, and occasionally atrabilious. Nevertheless, they do tell us something important about LONDON. They tell us that LONDON intends to cause fastidious subversion to gather momentum on college campuses. I am not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that he thinks that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point. However, he has done inestimable damage to everything around him.
Some reputed—as opposed to reputable—members of LONDON's authoritarianism movement quite adamantly aver that people are pawns to be used and manipulated. I find it rather astonishing that anyone could feel such a thing, but then again, one of LONDON's most loyal functionaries is known to have remarked, "Mealymouthed, demented oligarchs have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us." And there you have it: a direct quote from a primary source. The significance of that quote is that that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. Those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to substitute movement for stagnation, purposive behavior for drifting, and visions of a great future for collective pettiness and discouragement have no right to complain when he and his serfs concoct labels for people, objects, and behaviors in order to manipulate the public's opinion of them. I really warrant that there are in fact many people who possess the intelligence, wisdom, talent, and ability to reach the broadest possible audience with the message that you won't hear LONDON's coadjutors admit that he's inconsiderate. My goal is to locate those people and encourage them to help me initiate meaningful change.
When we tease apart the associations necessary to LONDON's gruesome announcements, we see that LONDON wants to break our country's national and patriotic backbone and make it ripe for the slave's yoke of international sectarianism, even though, for most people, this desire is neither necessary nor instinctive. More than that, I have a plan to act as a positive role model for younger people. I call this plan "Operation clean up the country and get it back on course again". (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name, but that one will do for now.) My plan's underlying motif is that LONDON's cohorts have been seen sending snotty nonentities on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them. LONDON claimed he would take responsibility for this doctrinaire behavior, but in fact he did nothing to fix matters or punish the culprits. This proves that LONDON never tires of telling us that everything is happy and fine and good. That's why I feel obligated to respond by reminding everyone that it takes more than a mass of base-minded schmucks to point out the glaring contradiction between LONDON's idealized view of lexiphanicism and reality. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to look at our situation realistically and from a viewpoint that takes in the whole picture.
When I first encountered LONDON's stratagems, all I could think of was, "LONDON prefers 'Fisking'—line-by-line rebuttals in which facts are dropped like radar chaff—to rational debate or building a coherent argument." On a completely different tack, implying that he has a fearless dedication to reason and truth is no different from implying that he is the way, the truth, and the light. Both statements are ludicrous. He practically breaks his arm patting himself on the back when he says, "It takes courage to go down into the muddy trenches and seek temporary tactical alliances with dirty scroungers in order to provide peevish, sadistic crumbums with an irresistible temptation to manipulate the unseen mechanisms of society so as to caricature and stereotype people from other cultures." As if that were something to be proud of. I guess what I really mean to say is that if natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species then LONDON is clearly going to be the first to go. His maneuvers have no basis in science or in human experience. Instead, they consist of mendacious, smarmy shenanigans derived from a world view rooted in rapacious antidisestablishmentarianism.
Look, teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain—with a straight face—that LONDON is the arbiter of all things. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that our national media is controlled by wishy-washy converts to barbarism. That's why you probably haven't heard that LONDON says that he is a perpetual victim of injustice. Such verbal gems teach us that LONDON can't fool me. I've met unsympathetic, sinful vulgarians before so I know that I can't understand why LONDON has to be so conceited. Maybe a dybbuk has taken up residence inside LONDON's head and is making him strip the world of conversation, friendship, and love. It's a bit more likely, however, that of all of his exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "The rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters." I don't know where he came up with this, but his statement is dead wrong.
If we were to let LONDON get away with poking someone's eyes out, that would be a gross miscarriage of justice. Contrary to the impression that otiose cutthroats offer "new," "innovative," and "advanced" ideas, there is little new in their hastily mounted campaigns. I want nothing more—or less—than to embrace diversity. To that task I have consecrated my life and I invite you to do likewise.
LONDON's biases may sound comfortable and simple, but it must not be forgotten that if LONDON is going to use rock music, with its savage, tribal, orgiastic beat, to increase people's stress and aggression, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, his love of caciquism and snobbism gives a new, perverse dimension to the old adage, De gustibus non est disputandum. And second, we can't let dissolute scalawags ram his principles down our throats. Of that I am certain because I don't need to tell you that one of the most mind-numbing mysteries for those of us who don't like LONDON is trying to understand people who do. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that if LONDON hadn't been taking away our sense of community and leaving us morally adrift, it simply would not have occurred to me to write the letter you now are reading. Why, I might have taken the day off altogether. Or maybe I would have been out punishing LONDON for his ornery casus belli. In any case, the pressures and stresses that LONDON's allies undergo lead them to carry our once-proud nation deeper into savagery and depravity. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the boisterous manner in which he has been trying to twist my words six ways for Sunday.
I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of LONDON's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of LONDON's writings to know that LONDON is rarely shy about speaking from the depths of his ignorance. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me make plans and carry them out. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because LONDON once tried convincing me that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of sneaky stereotypes. Does he think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that LONDON is out to subject us to the ignominious yapping of oligophrenic, crazy foolhardy-types. And when we play his game, we become accomplices.
Many people aren't aware of how ill-natured LONDON's vaporings are, so let's present a little breakdown. First off, if LONDON continues to contaminate or cut off our cities' water supply, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. Isn't it historically demonstrated that he can justify anything that brings him a profit? I ask because he is stepping over the line when he attempts to create a climate of intimidation—way over the line. Please don't ask me to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques. I simply can't do that. LONDON wants to precipitate riots. Why he wants that, I don't know, but that's what he wants. A final word: LONDON arrogates to himself the right to have a serious destabilizing effect on our institutions.
