****Sorry for the long post, I forgot to rant last week****
So last week I locked my keys in the ignition inside the car, (shit was off )just after I pull into work. So no big deal right? I mean shit I have roadside assistance and I've done this before, takes 30 minutes for the dude to get here, slim-jim the shit open, done deal.
Not this time! Not that easy. So after calling roadside assistance I get a call from the guy that's going to open up my car. Dude speaks HORRIBLE English, I have to act like I can't hear him and that the phone is cutting out not to embarrass him, which I should have because he was a fucking ass hat size 7 5/8 in.
So he pulls up in a white nissan quest mini van from like 95 with his fucking red dotted fore headed wife inside. No tow-truck that I have become accustomed to. Bring tools, not wife number 5 bitch.
He gets out of the car with a long ass skinny cardboard box. He then pulls out this fucking metal rod, I swear it was some fucking re-bar or some shit. He then circles around my car scratching his head looking for a way to slide his ghetto contraption through the window to pull the door handle. He says "no" then tries again and says no with every failed attempt of entering through each window.
The bastard turns to me after 3 minutes and says in a Apu voice " I will not do it, unless you want me to break the window ". I ask him if he has a slim jim or something and he replies "we don't use those". I'm like dude, I've had this done an assload amount of times with the slim jim. He then starts making some excuses so I tell him not to trip and that I will figure it out and proceed to walk back to my building as he's talking.
At this point I go back into the building pissed the fuck off and I get a call back from the roadside assistance company with an automated machine asked if my service issue has been resolved. I reply with a simple no, and hang the fuck up. No more than 2 minutes later I get a call from the same number, this time it's a human, and he calls to resolve my problem. Dude sounds nice and helpful, kinda ghetto sounding but shit he was about to send a locksmith out to me FOR FREE so shit whatevers clever. He then puts me on hold to create another service order. At this point I'm cool, my shit will get unlocked.
After waiting on hold for 5 minutes, dude comes back on the phone and says his manager wants to talk to me. FOR WHAT? Well dude asks me what happened with the first guy and gives me some baby faced bullshit about how he doesn't want me to waste another service ticket because I only get so and so amount per year. I say well I mean, shit my door needs to be opened, I can't use YOUR service, if you won't let me. Again he's trying to lay it on sweet. I say, don't trip, I'll open it myself since you guys can't. and hang up.
Again I'm pissed the fuck off. I go outside and circle around my car, for a minute I actually consider bashing in a window but then I rule that one out. I go inside hoping there is some sort of metal strip or a fucking coat hanger determined to do this myself. Nothing anywhere. FUCK. I go back outside a just peer into my car checking the sun roof, both doors, just hoping something would be open. I then turn around, and sitting right ontop of the dumpster next to my car is a fucking coat hanger already bent straight as if God wanted to help a mother fucker out and placed it there for me. Light shined on that bitch.
I fucking dick around getting so close to opening the door. The loop on the hanger would unbend as soon as the handle got to half way open. So close yet so fuckin' far. People drive by and stare at me digging into the car like a crackhead. Any moment security is going to roll up and tase me. After messing with it for almost 40 minutes, FINALLY I open that shit. I felt like celebrating.
I then go back into work, go online and write a prickish complaint letter while getting paid. I never do that sort of thing, but fuck that shit!
