Ok. Yeah I read X's message. And what he said about me sounded kinda crazy like I was just on here claimin to be somethin or someone that I wasn't. But that's butt. That nigga was callin me his woman & from about 98/99 up until last month said he wanted to marry me. But I'm only 25. I need to live MY life. I have kids, etc. I need to concentrate on them. I went through mad shit in the past couple years that I had to deal with. So I didn't always have time to get things done for him or do what he needed me to do EXACTLY when he needed me to do it. And I could never tell him no. Shit, I take care of 2 kids by MYSELF. I go to school. I was working. I was going through other issues...deaths in my family, court shit...blah, blah, blah. We were both 'doin our own things'. But my life is crazy as hell. And he decided he didn't have time to deal with crazy anymore. He needed somebody more stable. And he found it. Good for him. We are STILL close friends. That man knows me better than my mother. Plain and simple. He just found somebody that is better capable to handle his business & gives him what he needs. Cool. I don't give a fuck. I love X, so if he's happy...cool. I love him and he loves me. The problem is, we haven't been IN LOVE for a long ass time now. He found somebody that he IS in love with. So cool. I've been in love before and I wouldn't deny that to ANYBODY. And in all honesty, it would have never worked out anyway. I DON'T like Cali, period. He has 9 more years to do, and I can't handle being married to a man locked up on the other side of the country for 9 more years. I've already raised 2 kids by myself, and not by choice. I just can't see purposely puttin myself in that situation again. I have 2 SONS without fathers. How could I knowingly bring more children into this world KNOWING that their father would not be completely around for 9 more years? I think that's crazy. And plus, like I said, I'm only 25. I didn't do his crime. He's locked up, not me. He's told me that so many times over the years...to just live my life and do me. And I did. How many people do you know that would give up their young life like that? It might sound selfish, but it's called being human. I'm just not ready for that. Ok, I had a man for a period of time, but he had other women, like the one he's gonna marry. He was dealin with her at the same EXACT time he was tellin me he was gonna marry me (which was recently). He was FUCKIN bitches (not just FUCKIN WITH bithches) in the fuckin PENITENTIARY!!! If you can't trust a nigga that's locked up, who the hell CAN you trust? So we both lived our lives. We knew what was goin on, but at the same time had the common goal that when the time was right, we would get married. But that time never came. So I don't want ya'll to think I was perped out or anything. I was just callin it like it was bein told to me. He told me how happy he his with his new woman, and I hope she can continue to keep him happy the way he is now. There's no hard feelings. Shit, she's better than me. It's a long road ahead, and I hope she's prepared for the battle, cuzz it won't be easy. I know. I was there for a minute. If she can deal with all that, she can have it. Bottom line. Mad props to ya. So on some real woman shit...good luck to them. And oh, if you fuck him over, I'm beatin your ass...lol =) That's still my baby, I still love him, and I always will. We were just always more like sister and brother than anything, and we'll both be so much more happier to just keep it at that level. I know he doesn't like me puttin his/our business out there. But it all started with that message he left. Like I said no hard feelings. And I still love his short ass. =) Oh, and you can print this out & send it to him if you want to. Don't bother. I printed this out before I posted it. It'll be in the mail tomorrow.
It's all love. Ain't no hatin in my blood. Just keepin it gangsta.
Oh, @ Lil Cyco...you ain't call me back nigga. So there's the answer to MOST of your questions!!! You're still my brother though. =)
It's all love. Ain't no hatin in my blood. Just keepin it gangsta.
Oh, @ Lil Cyco...you ain't call me back nigga. So there's the answer to MOST of your questions!!! You're still my brother though. =)
