lawmakers object to fake penis for drug tests

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Cheaptimes

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Jan 3, 2005
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#1
lawmakers object to fake penis for drug tests
Thu May 12, 9:11 AM ET



WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A life-like prosthetic penis called the Whizzinator and other products promising to help illegal drug users pass urine tests provoked U.S. lawmakers on Wednesday to take legal action with subpoenas of manufacturers.



Lawmakers objected to attempts to circumvent drug tests with products such as The Whizzinator, a fake penis that can provide a flow of clean urine "again and again, anytime, anywhere you need it!" according to the Web site www.whizzinator.com.

A congressional subcommittee voted to subpoena the owner of Puck Technology of Signal Hill, California, the company that makes the Whizzinator. The panel also voted to subpoena the owners of Health Choice of New York City and Spectrum Labs of Cincinnati, two companies that lawmakers said also were suspected of selling products aimed at circumventing workplace drug tests.

The owners were required to provide financial and operational records by Monday and to appear at a congressional hearing on Tuesday.

"These companies seek through deception to make a buck by violating our trust and compromising our security," said Rep. Ed Whitfield, a Kentucky Republican who chairs the House Energy and Commerce Committee's oversight and investigations panel.

"It is a risk we simply cannot tolerate. This panel will uncover how widespread these products are and recommend the necessary steps to end their use," Whitfield said in a statement.

Actor Tom Sizemore, who played a sergeant in the war movie "Saving Private Ryan," was caught using the Whizzinator to try and pass drug tests, California prosecutors said in February. He was put in jail after using a similar device and failing a drug test, prosecutors said.

DRINKS TO FLUSH DRUGS

The House committee is investigating whether federal legislation is needed to stop companies from making similar products, such as drinks that promise to flush out drug ingredients in urine.

The company officials had previously declined to testify and provided little information, a committee statement said.

Michael Fichera, owner of Health Choice, said he had told the committee he would cooperate with the investigation.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with the products we're selling," Fichera said in an interview. "We do a service. I think it's way more positive than negative."

He said users of his company's products, which include drinks and capsules, must be "clean" for two to three days before using them to pass a drug test.

"We're not beating or cheating on drug tests. We are just accelerating the cleansing time," Fichera said.

An official at Spectrum Labs did not immediately respond to a request for comment about the congressional action. A man who answered the phone at Puck Technology said no one was available to comment.
 
Apr 25, 2002
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#4
Cheaptimes said:
Whizzinator
haha @ their website:

I just want the feedom to smoke a joint every once in a while. How can that make me a worthless drug addict? I can't believe people are against us getting back the freedoms that were taken from us. It shouldn't matter if your taking medication as long as you do your job well. What I do on the weekend is my own GOD **** business!! And F*** you stupid people that don't agree. I think all you should burn in hell after I beat you to death! Have a nice day.
good citizen, IL

because of this thing ive fucked my girlfriend more then once and passed all my tests, thank you guys all the same!!!!!
:), TX

Hey, you guys messed up and sent me the big black whizzinator and got me kicked out of the KKK. But Earlene shore did scream when I did her last night! Yee Haw! Thanks whizzinator, you bunch of race mixing rubber ding dong makers!
Billy Bob Earl Elmer Jones, AR

I just ordered this thing. If it isnt everything all of you say that it is I will use it to piss all over you. I am sure it will save my social life though.
diddydiddydopedealer, MA

Yo! I love the Whizzinator! But my coworkers all know I have a mighty, uncut schlong. Now I fear office gossip will lead to my undoing. Is there an uncircumcised '03 model for me? Help me Whizzinator!!
John Cocktosten, GA

even though my penis is normally small, the whizzinator makes me look and feel like a man when I'm taking a piss test
Gene G., AZ

Who ever said that pot smokers are a waste of space will answer to me!!!!!!!!
LUCIFER

I have a hiper-small penis, and this brought back my self-steem and confidence. See the results for yourself!
http://ricotta.has-a-small-penis.com
sergio ricotta, Ca

It also works great as a novelty sports bottle. Ahhh refreshing, and it's got a wang to it!
harald, OR

without it i would still be a virgin and now i can piss in public....... thank u puck
lucky, TX

i'm italian it's fantastic idea,and after 5 year i can take my driving licenze back thanks whizzi and everybody and thanks internet
stefano, AL

I always keep a fresh lubed Wizzinator in my underware drawer to keep me going on strong through the day. Thanks Whizzinator!
George Guluska, PA

"I used the Whizzinator at work and it saved my job, and then later that night, I used it on my wife and it saved my marriage."
Mike, Abingdon, VA
 

Cheaptimes

C'mon now...
Jan 3, 2005
4,590
2,123
113
47
www.twitter.com
#5
G-Dubb said:
haha @ their website:

I just want the feedom to smoke a joint every once in a while. How can that make me a worthless drug addict? I can't believe people are against us getting back the freedoms that were taken from us. It shouldn't matter if your taking medication as long as you do your job well. What I do on the weekend is my own GOD **** business!! And F*** you stupid people that don't agree. I think all you should burn in hell after I beat you to death! Have a nice day.
good citizen, IL

because of this thing ive fucked my girlfriend more then once and passed all my tests, thank you guys all the same!!!!!
:), TX

Hey, you guys messed up and sent me the big black whizzinator and got me kicked out of the KKK. But Earlene shore did scream when I did her last night! Yee Haw! Thanks whizzinator, you bunch of race mixing rubber ding dong makers!
Billy Bob Earl Elmer Jones, AR

I just ordered this thing. If it isnt everything all of you say that it is I will use it to piss all over you. I am sure it will save my social life though.
diddydiddydopedealer, MA

Yo! I love the Whizzinator! But my coworkers all know I have a mighty, uncut schlong. Now I fear office gossip will lead to my undoing. Is there an uncircumcised '03 model for me? Help me Whizzinator!!
John Cocktosten, GA

even though my penis is normally small, the whizzinator makes me look and feel like a man when I'm taking a piss test
Gene G., AZ

Who ever said that pot smokers are a waste of space will answer to me!!!!!!!!
LUCIFER

did you find those on the website? if so thats tight, if not, still funny.