I went to 2 different churches this weekend.

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JLMACN

JLMACN

JLMACN
#1
Aug 26, 2002
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WWW.YABITCHDONEME.COM
#1
This one - http://www.antiochchurch.com

For my brother-in-law whom was getting baptised. Wow, I must say what a sad day when we have to say a "money prayer" to help us feel better about giving money to the church. It went something like this.....

"God bless this money im giving. Help it to give me good tax return, job puposals, investments, bonuses, raises, etc....etc" you get the idea...
I wanted to walk out after I read that prayer. I mean here we have about 500 people in this church on a Sat night service just raising their hands and really praying this money prayer. I wouldnt of had any problem about this prayer had it said ANYTHING about: longevity of life, health, watch over children, etc.

That shit just bothered me...flat out.

then

I went to a Catholic church. My son is taking first communion classes and my wife was to sick to take him to his classes. So I took him. I sat thru the service, which was one of those typical " Satan ruins all things" services but at the same time it wasnt bad. Then after the 45 minute service I had to go downstairs to take my son to class. he goes to class and the parents come upstairs and the priest wanted to go over the whole process of a service......basically everything from the time you walk in a catholic service and spray yourself with holy water to the time he tells you to "go in peace" means something!!!! And I mean everything.

The funny part is this. I sat there with all these parents, right? Most of which were in there 30-40 and 50's. So I was younger than most. while going over the whole process of a service, the priest asked this question:

Who called jesus the lamb of god?

I whispered to myself, John the baptist.
A whole 30 seconds goes by (which is a long time to wait for a answer) and NO ONE knew!!!!! So I say at the exact same time as the priest John the baptist. And he was like, oh you knew!!! Good for you. bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

So I win some sort of lint prayer book. But this is why im telling this story.
Here we have a athiest in the middle of a catholic church surrounded by Catholics who have been practicing since they were born, possibly, and no one knew the answer....

:cool:

ok, I guess you would've had to be there.

hahaha

5000
 
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phil

Sicc OG
#3
Apr 25, 2002
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#3
i feel ya bro. my mom took me to one of those money churches before. they actually were rude about demanding the people to tithe so the pastor and his wife could enjoy a bahama cruise. fuck that shit. mom wanted me to meet this preacher so bad because he was a ex con and all this shit and maybe i'd be "scared straight" or whatever. ha!!! i just knew from that point on if i was ever broke i could fall back on christianity as a hustle because this cat had it on lock!! its crazy the stupid shit people do/believe because of the bible and religion.
 
HERESY

HERESY

THE HIDDEN HAND...
#9
Apr 25, 2002
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www.godscalamity.com
www.godscalamity.com
#9
Peep. I went to my god sons christening or whatever the hell it was that I had to attend to become a godfather. Well anyway, we went to this church in Oakland, and before the actual christening the church did what most churches usually do--hypnotize you with music and bring out the collection plates. So after they finished banging on their pots and pans it was time to take an offering, but here is where things get crazy. The church had to raise like 200k for a new church, they had this graph posted on the left wall that showed where they currently were as far as money and what was needed. So anyway, they took collection for that, but they took ANOTHER collection after that. This time, the preacher called for a new collection and he said this was "THE TRINITY OFFERING". When he said that my nephew, who is close in age to myself, looked at me and I looked at him. We both uttered out "WHAT THE FUCK?" The preacher said it was time to take the TRINITY OFFERING, and that the trinity offering would be HIS. He said when you do the trinity offering you have to give THREE TIMES AS MUCH as you previously did. He said it doesn't matter if it was one dollar or a hundred as long as it was THREE TIMES the amount because it needs to be a Trinity Like Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
 
HERESY

HERESY

THE HIDDEN HAND...
#11
Apr 25, 2002
18,326
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www.godscalamity.com
www.godscalamity.com
#11
That was the first and only time I've heard of the trinity offering. People make up their own shit as they go along, so my advice to anyone going to church is to actually read on your own and do it that way. However, if you need the church environment,want to go to church because you like being around your peers or you need church as a support mechanism thats cool, but try to find a church that places emphasis on the church actually helping and giving.
 
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2-0-NINE

Sicc OG
#13
Mar 12, 2005
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#13
phil said:
FUCK A CHURCH
Click to expand...
Real Church members, are those that don't associate with particular churches anymore, which is why I seldom go. I'm not discouraging anyone from going to church, but from the 3 catholic churches I attended in the past, and the many Protestant Churches I've gone too, it was all too familiar with JLMACN's experience.

Sixx said, Religions of the Idea of God was made to oppress people, how about the modern day churches in place of his opinion on God.

Edit: Some of the best churches I've attended, never gave out collection plates, or once ever mentioning money. Quick to teaching scripture, no fake healings, just straight up bible teaching.
 
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phil

Sicc OG
#17
Apr 25, 2002
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#17
2-0-Sixx said:
Some churches are good. The ones that do a lot of charity work
Click to expand...
yes there are some and i dont think its a coincidence that their pastors dont sport rolies and drive jags. a lot of these preachers and pastors are hustlers and predators.

i said fuck a church because the people i see who REALLY NEED it are the ones that get taken advantage of. my grandparents come to mind.
 
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phil

Sicc OG
#19
Apr 25, 2002
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#19
i used to work at a church in atlanta. it was one of those megachurches with the school and all that shit built in. buncha fake motherfuckers runnin the shit. ran like a corporation.
 
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2-0-NINE

Sicc OG
#20
Mar 12, 2005
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#20
Section 501a Churches

Jerry "the Bitch" Falwell
Joel "Mr. you can do not wrong" Osteen
Oral "The dying old man" Roberts
Benny "The Muslim hating Indian Christian" Hinn
Creflo "Uncle Tom" Dollar
Jentson "Freddy Krueger looking ass" Franklin
Pat "The Body Building, titty sagging, prophet" Robertson
 
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