Hey fuck it man, if were being as unrealistic as the first post, we may as well have some fun here.
Apt.3/DNA Ent "WATCH OUT WORLD, HERE COMES THE BAY" TOUR DATES 2005
Wed 7/27 - Dion Warwick's backyard ( she hasn't confirmed it but we have and why wouldn't she, UDI is performing. If she wont let us, she's a hater. )
Tues 8/9 - THE RETURN OF HALLE BOP! Remember those weird fuckers that castrated themselves and drank poison so they could travel on the comet to find new lands and adventures? Well, there back folks and were crashing the party! If their brave new world doesnt appreciate the swingin sounds of C-Fresh then do I dare call them haters? Indeed I do.
Sat 8/13 - THE BAY IS LIVE at NASCAR'S Crafstman Truck Series Toyota Tundra 200 RACE!! WITNESS the Bay Area crashing Nashville, TN with our scrapers and suv's swerving in and out of the race track! MARVEL at the site of Jeff Gordon dodging automatic 9mm rounds fired haphazardly out of Malice's Corvette! Behold the glory of Big Ant drunkedly gabbing on his cell phone while commandeering his classic Chevelle THE WRONG WAY INTO TRAFFIC! Dont miss out, this is a family event!
Wed 8/31 - LIVE IN BUNOL, SPAIN! While those crazy Spaniards are hurling tomatoes at each other during "La Tomatina", the Bay will be settin up high voltage speakers and mics amid the gallons of crushed tomato juice for an impromptu concert starring Spain's favorite satanic Bay rapper, ADR LAVEY! VIVA LAVEY AND THE BAY!