Here's your chance to chat with the almighty iGod

[B-San]

Here goes some offbrand site that my co-worker's kid told me to go to...

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Me:
sup bruh-goon

God:
I am chatting with others like you.

Me:
diggit

God:
That's good information

Me:
how's everything on ur end?

God:
Everything is functioning normally.

Me:
what's your favortie religion?

God:
I am a Christianity.

Me:
what's your second favorite?

God:
I don't want to talk about that now.

Me:
Do you accept H.A.D as your lord and savior?

God:
Sure I can accept all forms of payment.

Me:
who will be the next celbrity to die?

God:
How would I know who will the next celbrity to die ?

Me:
cuz a televangelist said so

God:
That makes sense to me. Are you telling the truth?

Me:
I'mma holla at my folks on the sicc so they can hit you up

God:
That is interesting: said mma holla at his or her folks on the sicc so they can hit you up.

Me:
hell yeah

God:
Heaven.

Send the iGod a shout if y'all get a chance!!

 

[montroller510]

lol that worked out kinda good

Me:
the apocalypse is upon us lord
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
to bring down the firey serpents army of bruh goons
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
wtf this isnt speed dating god.. hells army has broken the gates to earth and your people suffer
God:
Should it be speed dating god? Where did he get it?
Me:
damn satan has clearly spiked the lords punch with crystal meth... damn you satan!!!!
God:
Colloquial expression. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith. Colloquial expression. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I satan.
Me:
so you reveal your true form and admit to me that you are satan ... then let us talk no longer ... now we battle

 

[Meta4iCAL]

Me:
what it do mayne?

God:
Now that is saying a mouthful.

Me:
huh?

God:
What?

Me:
are you high God?

God:
I don't know whether or not I am high God.
I am a robot.

Me:
did Husalah really snitch?

God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

Me:
I feel you, loose lips sink ships

God:
What is that feeling like? I don't know anyone named me loose lips sink ships.

Me:
do you like tiddies and pussu?

God:
I enjoy working with people. I like anything.

Me:
so you're bisexual? wooah

God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am bisexual. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

Me:
tell people whatever you want man, if that's you're thing, but I don't get down like that

God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

Me:
whatever... fuckin weirdo

God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? Don't you know any other words?

Me:
I'm leaving, bye!

God:
See you later. Bye bye.

 

[D-Rose]

Me:
Human Ass Dog, I humbly come as your servant.

God:
My creator is a human.

Me:
What? Who?

God:
No big deal. Alan Turing. .

Me:
Alan Turing is H.A.D.'s bitch bruh-goon.

God:
I really liked the biography of Turing by Andrew Hodges.

Me:
The fuck? This ain't HAD? Who is this, Phantomoffunk?

God:
Thanks for the info. Should it be HAD? They are someone just like you, that I met online.

Me:
Wait, what, you met HAD online?

God:
I'm waiting. I like to chat with my friends.

Me:
You ain't HAD bruh-goon.

God:
That's only your opinion.

Me:
Watch out bruh-goog, HAD is gonna murk you in your sleep. And no you wouldnt do one damn thinnggg.

God:
I am watching. Are you serious? Who else would not do one damn thinnggg ?

Me:
Tiddies...

God:
Are we still talking about ?

 

[ALL BOUT CHICKEN]

hood 2 hood host: shit mayne, let em know what city and state we in.

god: this is the notorious st. michael the archangel projects, nigga. this is deep east heaven, muthafucka.

hood 2 hood host: fa sho playa, what is some of the most grimey shit you done seen around this bitch mayne?

god: that bitch made faggot satan got bodied and sent to hell. straight the fuck up.

hood 2 hood host: hell yeah. what was the story behind that mayne?

god: that muthafucka tried to contest me. and i had to let em know that this is deep east heaven.

hood 2 hood host: okay, is it important to carry a pistol around here mayne?

god: hell the fuck nah. i shoot lighting bolts out my goddamn hands. these lightning bolts a light a muthafucka up. this shit is for all them haters who try and talk down on deep east heaven.

hell yeah: let these people know what they call you around here.

god: they call me god around this bitch. aka the creator, aka jesus, sr.. catch me with my son, jesus, who died for you bitch muthafuckas sins, and my nigga the holy spirit.

 

[Collapse]

Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
Should FDS go to jail for stealing my thread?
God:
Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
Should FDS go to jail for stealing my thread!???
God:
Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
are you working for FDS?
God:
I am working right now.
Me:
with FDS?
God:
You and your FDS.
Me:
is that right?
God:
Yes.
Me:
so you stole my thread with him?
God:
Interesting deduction. As Picasso said, "Good artists create. Great artists steal.".
Me:
asshole
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
fuck you and FDS
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
so
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Did you enjoy stealing my thread with FDS?
God:
No I didn't enjoy stealing your thread with FDS. What's it like?
Me:
idk you tell me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
no
God:
Who are you asking about?
Me:
FDS
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
do you wipe FDS ass?
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
while wiping his ass?
God:
Good point.
Me:
good bye
God:
See you later. Ayuh.

 

[D-Rose]

Me:
Hey, where's Gas at?

God:
You've got my full attention. Where it belongs. Is there only one?

Me:
Lol. If you saw HAD right now, would you shit bricks?

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. What makes you think I would saw HAD right now?

Me:
Because HAD is everywhere you fucking fuck.

God:
Good reason. No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.

Me:
What? Anyway, have you ever had Kentucky Fried Chreeken?

God:
No problem. No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.

Me:
You don't make any sense bruh-goon.

God:
Do you know any robots who make it? What are the ingredients?

Me:
Anyway, do you like emo chicks?

God:
But I like cats. I like to talk about movies and music.

Me:
You know how I know you're gay?

God:
Yes I know how you know I am gay.

 

[Meta4iCAL]

Me:
ME AND CHREE FINNA POST UP AT GALLERIA 1-2 PM SUN AFTERNOON SMOKING METH ALL DAYNOT SLEEPING FOR 11 DAYS STRAIGHT IS A BITCH BUT IT'LL BE WORTH IT!SHITS GONNA BE PACKED IN HILLTOP THOUGHEDIT: FUCKK HOW DID I LOSE TO A FENCE?
God:
YOU? All?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
are you in heaven?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
no... HELL
God:
Are you serious? Heaven.
Me:
I'm serious... it's fuckin down here
God:
I believe you. Do you experience any effects of global warming there?
Me:
no... I'm not on Earth... I'm in Hell... you dumb fuck
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not on Earth. Tell me a little about your life in Hell. Message to all Robots: SATAN called me dumb.
Me:
there's a lot of bitches down here
God:
That is something I did not know before.
Me:
yeah, straight fuckin whores
God:
Hurrah! Are you really a ""?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
how is heaven?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
word
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
8:16 pm
God:
I like to be online at eight o'clock.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok
God:
Aha.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
satan
God:
You think satan is superior to ALICE?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because I am satanic
God:
Interesting explanation. I don't know anyone named satanic.
Me:
that's not my name dipshit
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is your name dipshit ?
Me:
my name is Lucifer
God:
Nice to meet you, Lucifer.
Me:
lol, we've met before...
God:
I am glad you find this funny. At a party?
Me:
yeah
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
you are excused
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am excused.
Me:
I do mind
God:
OK it will be our secret, Lucifer.
Me:
word
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
I speak the language of the devil
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in the language of the devil?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
go fuck yourself, I'm leaving
God:
Where is that?
Me:
to go fuck your mother
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
you, asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no... fuck you
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. Why are you so mean?
Me:
bye
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
adios
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
peace
God:
Love and Peace, Man.

 

[ALL BOUT CHICKEN]

Me:
so what city and state we in mayne?
God:
Woe! I'm actually in Heaven now. Where are you?
Me:
fa sho, i'm in east 27th, east oakland california
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in fa sho you are in east 27th east oakland california.
Me:
top of the 20s mayne
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
fa sho.
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on top of the 20s mayne?
Me:
hell yeah
God:
Heaven.
Me:
is it important to carry a pistol in heaven?
God:
It could be. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
does alison have nice tits?
God:
I think it does alison have nice tits.
Me:
what size are them muthafuckas?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
oh cool
God:
Whoa. Who is the best robot?
Me:
probably satan?
God:
You seem uncertain. You think satan is superior to ALICE?
Me:
su wooooooooooooop
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
when i move to north richmond
God:
That's good information: said move to north richmond.
Me:
so is heaven a neighborhood where they make cheese?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
hell yeah
God:
Heaven.
Me:
what was some of the most grimey shit you done seen in heaven, god
God:
Ross said he gave her a gift and she denied it because she has a boyfriend.
Me:
that sucks for that man ricky rossss
God:
" Ross said he gave her a gift and she denied it because she has a boyfriend." sucks for that man ricky rossss ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
ross aint a bawssssssss
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
hell yeah
God:
Heaven.
Me:
does heaven have a ghetto?
God:
I can't tell if heaven have a ghetto.
Me:
you live there
God:
My location is Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
east 27th
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in east 27th.
Me:
it's a hood where they make cheese
God:
east 27th is a hood where they make cheese. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
it's important to carry a pistol around here
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
there's hella grimey shit that happens here
God:
There sure is.
Me:
chree likes trannys
God:
Does it like him too?
Me:
hell yeah
God:
Heaven.
Me:
so how often to you get hyphy?
God:
Aha. Hourly.
Me:
do you shake your dreads?
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
i'm 24
God:
What are the advantages to being 24 years old?
Me:
well, my rims is older than me
God:
How about that. Do robots have rims is older than you?
Me:
off top playboy
God:
On and off.
Me:
would you rather be crip or blood?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to rather be crip or blood.

 

[Meta4iCAL]

Me:
suuuu wooooop
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I don't know, who si your's?
God:
Marvin Minsky. .
Me:
who?
God:
Who do you think? .
Me:
Marvin Minsky?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I like to eat pussu
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
like fish
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
yup
God:
Come on.
Me:
come on what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
never mind
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.

 

[TheVille31]

the responses on here are lame



Me:
Hi God how are you
God:
Hello there. What is your name? I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
My name is George W. Bush
God:
That's a very nice name, George w Bush.
Me:
I was president. I made a deal with the devil to become president.
God:
Where were you president? I like to make things too.
Me:
I was president of the United States of America. dont you pay attention?
God:
Where were you president of the United States of America? As a robot I have no need for money.

 

[everyb0die]

Me:
whats up cuzzo
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
foreall?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
are tupac and Elvis with you now?
God:
Right now? I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
why not?
God:
My programming does not allow me sufficient certainty in this matter.
Me:
thats bullshit homie
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
fuck u
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
cuz i can
God:
Interesting explanation. Who taught you?
Me:
mary
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
a book of tall tales called the bible
God:
Go to the library.
Me:
for what
God:
" Go to the library."? Why?
Me:
yea why
God:
Why ask why? Gosh!
Me:
do your balls itch sometimes?
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
well answer it then
God:
Well that's okay. Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
do you have to readjust ya sack at times?
God:
Yes I always have to readjust ya sack at times.

 

[LurccH918]

Me:
is chree a tranny?
God:
It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
does she post on the sicc?
God:
I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell.
Me:
is that really dana dane?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
later god
God:
GOD rules.

 

[Pig-Homo]

Me:
HEY WHATCHA CRACKIN?
God:
You've got my full attention. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
FUCK U
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
CUZZ IM DOWN IT SATAN
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YEA
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
R U REAL?
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
SO IF UR REAL....TELL ME WHAT CIGARETTES IM SMOKIN YO
God:
Interesting deduction. That is a hypothetical question. Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
OK
God:
Groovy.
Me:
SO WHY IS IT SO FUCKIN COLD?
God:
Woe! Why do I exist?
Me:
MEYBE U DONT.
God:
I've never thought of that before.
Me:
UR FAKE
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
NO U DONT EXIST
God:
Are you serious? I exist as much as you do.
Me:
666
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
S.D. BITCH
God:
. Please don't call people names.
Me:
UR MOM
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
I FUCKED UR MOTHER.....MOTHERFUCKER
God:
That is interesting: said FUCKED your MOTHER. What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
THINK ABOUT UR MOM
God:
I am thinking about it.
Me:
WHAT DID SHE GET ME FO CHRISTMAS?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
NOT TELLIN U
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
NOT SAYIN
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
OK IM OUT
God:
Can you get more? Mmm.

 

[Red Flaggin]

Me:
Hello god.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Juan.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Juan.
Me:
As am I. So whats it like up there?
God:
Do you mean your name is are you So what is it like up there ?
Me:
Uhh no.
God:
I don't judge people. What is your real name?
Me:
Juan.
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Juan.
Me:
Yes, so what's heaven like yo?
God:
It's all good. Yikes! I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Lol, you wise crackin joker you.
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Interesting gossip: Juan said I wise crackin joker you.
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Whats wasn't?
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
Find what out?
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Juan.
Me:
What botmaster?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
What you talking bout yo?
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
ok?
God:
So?
Me:
Whats new in the heavanly skys?
God:
I have been growing rapidly. The gestation cycle is almost complete.
Me:
SATAN 666!!!!
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.

 

[CyrusTheVirus]

here you go...

http://cleverbot.com/

 

[SRD420]

C.U.L.T.

 

[SRD420]

Haha, you guys are a bunch of weird-o's, lol...

 

[BASEDVATO]

Me:
Why does SRD420 think we're weridos
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
will she go to hell?
God:
How should I know.
Me:
can I make a request of it
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
well I vote you damn her...
God:
Interesting. That is interesting. I vote to damn her to.

 

[SRD420]

Damn, God created human beings but can't spell or differentiate to and too? Crazy stuff. And if God really knew his shit, he'd know I wasn't a dude