Department of Labor asking me to show proof that I've been looking for work.
- Thread starter corinthian
- Start date
lol @ giving him advice on how to not get a job.
Just show up to the interview and DO really really bad....like start twitching in the middle of the interview and when you talk, don look the guy in the eyes...focus on some other object in the room..and try as hard as you can to not blink for the entire time.
Or line up some coke on the desk while there interviewing you and offer him some
tear a piece of the application off and tell them you had to use it as a crutch and your sorry
Go out and collect applications and turn them all into the wrong places
When it asks "If you have been convicted of a felony, check yes...and list the following
charges
18-913.Felonious administering of drugs
18-923.Attempted strangulation.
18-3302A.Sale of weapons to minors.
18-4014.Administering poison with intent to kill.*awaiting trial
18-4116.Indecent exposure
18-1101.Bigamy
18-7501.Small Aircraft hijacking
18-5611.Inducing person under eighteen years of age to patronize a prostitute
18-4502.First degree kidnapping -- Ransom
18-5003.Cannibalism *awaiting trial
Just show up to the interview and DO really really bad....like start twitching in the middle of the interview and when you talk, don look the guy in the eyes...focus on some other object in the room..and try as hard as you can to not blink for the entire time.
Or line up some coke on the desk while there interviewing you and offer him some
tear a piece of the application off and tell them you had to use it as a crutch and your sorry
Go out and collect applications and turn them all into the wrong places
When it asks "If you have been convicted of a felony, check yes...and list the following
charges
18-913.Felonious administering of drugs
18-923.Attempted strangulation.
18-3302A.Sale of weapons to minors.
18-4014.Administering poison with intent to kill.*awaiting trial
18-4116.Indecent exposure
18-1101.Bigamy
18-7501.Small Aircraft hijacking
18-5611.Inducing person under eighteen years of age to patronize a prostitute
18-4502.First degree kidnapping -- Ransom
18-5003.Cannibalism *awaiting trial
lol @ giving him advice on how to not get a job.
Ask for an application, only fill in your name and turn it in, call every 3 hours to ask about the status of your application
Offer sexual favors to employment
Tell them you need to bring a gun to work because "them playin hatin suckas is still tryna kill me"
tell them you are famous and have been on TV...when they ask more about it, explain you appeared on the last season of "TO CATCH A PREDATOR"......twice.
Just show up to the interview and DO really really bad....like start twitching in the middle of the interview and when you talk, DO NOT look the guy in the eyes...focus on some other object in the room..and try as hard as you can to not blink for the entire time.
If they ask you about any disabilities, tell them you are a narcotic dependent narcoleptic hypochondriac...but it doesnt affect your work at all.
Or line up some coke on the desk while theyre interviewing you and offer him some, or take off your shoe and start clipping your toenails in the middle of the interview, or scratch your criotch and smell it repeatedly...before you leave ask his opinion if it "smells like something is wrong" and put your finger under his nose
tear a piece of the application off and tell them you had to use it as a crutch and your sorry, offer him the doobie
refer to the guy interviewing you as "blood" and "homeboy"...ask if the other employees are mostly "scraps" or "chapetes"
Ask him to use the phone to check in with your parole officer during the interview, if he says ok..pretend to get into an argument with him about getting a job.
Tell him you gotta get paid under the table cause yo baby mamas been looking for you for 3 years for child support
Pick your nose while asking for an application, leave the boogetr on the app when you turn it is
Sign your name as "JAH THE ALMIGHTY ONE"
Ask to be called Peaches or Delicious during the interview
Explain you need to job to finish the botched surgery you got in a garage in Juarez Mexico
speak in 3rd person when asking for applications, and when turning them in
write a resume on toilet paper, explain thats how you smuggled it out of the honduran prison
Tell them your last job was a doorman at a crackhouse, or a security guard for Victoria Secrets Dressing room.
Go out and collect applications and turn them all into the wrong places, fill them out in crayon and sharpies, include little drawings on the side of hearts and flowers, or something more disturbing
When it asks "If you have been convicted of a felony, check yes...and list the following charges
18-913.Felonious administering of drugs
18-923.Attempted strangulation.
18-3302A.Sale of weapons to minors.
18-4014.Administering poison with intent to kill.*awaiting trial
18-4116.Indecent exposure
18-1101.Bigamy
18-7501.Small Aircraft hijacking
18-5611.Inducing person under eighteen years of age to patronize a prostitute
18-4377. Molestation/Rape of a domesticated animal
18-4502.First degree kidnapping -- Ransom
18-5003.Cannibalism *awaiting trial
Ask for an application, only fill in your name and turn it in, call every 3 hours to ask about the status of your application
Offer sexual favors to employment
Tell them you need to bring a gun to work because "them playin hatin suckas is still tryna kill me"
tell them you are famous and have been on TV...when they ask more about it, explain you appeared on the last season of "TO CATCH A PREDATOR"......twice.
Just show up to the interview and DO really really bad....like start twitching in the middle of the interview and when you talk, DO NOT look the guy in the eyes...focus on some other object in the room..and try as hard as you can to not blink for the entire time.
If they ask you about any disabilities, tell them you are a narcotic dependent narcoleptic hypochondriac...but it doesnt affect your work at all.
Or line up some coke on the desk while theyre interviewing you and offer him some, or take off your shoe and start clipping your toenails in the middle of the interview, or scratch your criotch and smell it repeatedly...before you leave ask his opinion if it "smells like something is wrong" and put your finger under his nose
tear a piece of the application off and tell them you had to use it as a crutch and your sorry, offer him the doobie
refer to the guy interviewing you as "blood" and "homeboy"...ask if the other employees are mostly "scraps" or "chapetes"
Ask him to use the phone to check in with your parole officer during the interview, if he says ok..pretend to get into an argument with him about getting a job.
Tell him you gotta get paid under the table cause yo baby mamas been looking for you for 3 years for child support
Pick your nose while asking for an application, leave the boogetr on the app when you turn it is
Sign your name as "JAH THE ALMIGHTY ONE"
Ask to be called Peaches or Delicious during the interview
Explain you need to job to finish the botched surgery you got in a garage in Juarez Mexico
speak in 3rd person when asking for applications, and when turning them in
write a resume on toilet paper, explain thats how you smuggled it out of the honduran prison
Tell them your last job was a doorman at a crackhouse, or a security guard for Victoria Secrets Dressing room.
Go out and collect applications and turn them all into the wrong places, fill them out in crayon and sharpies, include little drawings on the side of hearts and flowers, or something more disturbing
When it asks "If you have been convicted of a felony, check yes...and list the following charges
18-913.Felonious administering of drugs
18-923.Attempted strangulation.
18-3302A.Sale of weapons to minors.
18-4014.Administering poison with intent to kill.*awaiting trial
18-4116.Indecent exposure
18-1101.Bigamy
18-7501.Small Aircraft hijacking
18-5611.Inducing person under eighteen years of age to patronize a prostitute
18-4377. Molestation/Rape of a domesticated animal
18-4502.First degree kidnapping -- Ransom
18-5003.Cannibalism *awaiting trial
Props:
Chuco
I vote for any laws to require people to actively search for work when theyre job has been eliminated. After say like 6 months you better be looking. Its cool to take a lil time off but I dont go to work and appreciate the ones who live off social programs. Look for a job. People should get drug tested too. Half my neighborhoods been on welfare for years and I'm sick of it.
No, there's no way around it.
They should give you a sheet to write down the jobs you look for. I think you have to look for AT LEAST 3 jobs per week(it may vary by state). You also have to do somethin' similiar when you file your claim online each week. You have to go to your local unemplyment office once a month. They'll send you a notice in the mail. If you fail to do any of this, your won't get unemployment.
They should give you a sheet to write down the jobs you look for. I think you have to look for AT LEAST 3 jobs per week(it may vary by state). You also have to do somethin' similiar when you file your claim online each week. You have to go to your local unemplyment office once a month. They'll send you a notice in the mail. If you fail to do any of this, your won't get unemployment.
So you got laid off, didnt look for work, didnt make the effort to make it appear you looked for work, and now its "bullshit" theyre not handing you a check? I get you wanna hide behind the abstract notion this is "your" money, but get real dude, if you spent 10 minutes a week even trying you wouldnt have any problems. And I wouldnt be worried about bullshitting about finding a job, I'd be worried about finding a job. Its a tough time to be looking for work, and theres slim chance of something falling into your lap quickly. I was out of work for about 3 months, filled out around 115 applications, called countless places, 2 dozen phone interviews, and finally got a new job about 4 weeks ago.
Funny you didnt highlight that part...
So if able bodied people like yourself worked, instead of collecting unemployment, then the labor cost would be less and the rest of us would get paid more. Thanks again, bud.
Funny you didnt highlight that part...
So if able bodied people like yourself worked, instead of collecting unemployment, then the labor cost would be less and the rest of us would get paid more. Thanks again, bud.