Can Anybody Speak Polish?
- Thread starter recklessofgilaz
- Start date
These two Polish men rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow." The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"
Q: How do you take census in a Polish village?
A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and
subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the
Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind
towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years,
_but_ I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their
prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out
totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out
rather inebriated. Then, they release the Polak, who comes out and
says, "Has anyone got a light?"
A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and
subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the
Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind
towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years,
_but_ I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their
prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out
totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out
rather inebriated. Then, they release the Polak, who comes out and
says, "Has anyone got a light?"
A Man goes to a whore house. The Madam is out of women but, since the man is Polish she thinks she can get away with a blow up doll and he will never know the difference.
The man comes out after being in the room for five minutes. "How was it?", says the Madam. "Not good at all," says the man, "I bit her nipple, she let out this huge fart and then flew out the window!"
The man comes out after being in the room for five minutes. "How was it?", says the Madam. "Not good at all," says the man, "I bit her nipple, she let out this huge fart and then flew out the window!"