your not alone homie... this is (ANOTHER) Day 1 for me too. ive been layin in bed all day sweatin n shit and back is hurtin like hell. i only got 4mg of subs too and i wanna take them now but i gotta work on tuesday and was hopin to save them for work. but fuck it, im about to take 1 just to feel a lil better. then ill be out of subs. i work 5 blocks from my dealer, theres been a few times in the last couple months where i "went home sick" only to walk to my dealers house so i would feel better,everytime i do it i feel like hanging myself and just ending it. thats gonna be runnin thru my head this week. i want to quit as well, i guess this week will be the test. to see if i even have any will power. if i dont quit opiates now, eventually i wont have a place to live.
ive been goin to aa meetings lately too, wakin up at 5am and walkin up to town for the 6am meeting, even tho im high at the time ive been makin a lil effort anyway... stay up tim, we can get thru this even if we dont got those subs, like you said, we did this to ourselves. and its up to us if we wanna help ourselves too...