JOKES......Who Has The Siccest Ones?

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scrillafein

Sicc OG
#1
Jun 21, 2005
507
0
0
#1
Post up the best jokes you know..
i remember reading one here about some employee at a hotel/bar selling everything on the menu for cheap. Then a customer asks him why everything is so cheap.. and what is he trying to do to the business.. and the employee responds.. same thing my boss is doing upstairs to my wife..
there's more to it but i forgot.. lol
 
niguardian

niguardian

Sicc OG
#3
Aug 6, 2008
10,132
195
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40
#3
so adam n eve was chillin in the garden of eden one day and eve got her period for the first time, they started trippin out kuz they never seen it before and didnt know what was happenin, so adam tells her 2 go wash herself off in the river while he goes n asks god whats goin on, so he asks god whats krackin n god explains and everythings koo, then god asks wheres eve now and adam explains shes washin herself off in the river

and god was like aaawww man...





























now ill never get that smell out of the fish...






da doom ksssssshhhhhhh

ziiiiiing poooowwww
 
R

R

Sicc OG
#6
Dec 7, 2005
7,629
1,807
113
35
#6
a redneck named bubba died in a fire and was burned pretty badly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body.
so his two best friends, daryl & gomer, were sent for. daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. daryl said, "yup, he's burnt pretty bad. roll him over."
So the mortician rolled him over and daryl looked and said, "nope, it ain't bubba.
the mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought gomer in to identify the body. gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over."
the mortician rolled him over & gomer looked down and said, "no, it ain't bubba."
the mortician asked, "how can you tell?"
gomer said, "well, bubba had two assholes."
"what? He had two assholes?" said the mortician.
"yup, everyone knew about it too. every time we
went to town, folks would say, "here comes bubba with them two assholes.'
 
niguardian

niguardian

Sicc OG
#9
Aug 6, 2008
10,132
195
0
40
#9
Handsworth4Life said:
a redneck named bubba died in a fire and was burned pretty badly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body.
so his two best friends, daryl & gomer, were sent for. daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. daryl said, "yup, he's burnt pretty bad. roll him over."
So the mortician rolled him over and daryl looked and said, "nope, it ain't bubba.
the mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought gomer in to identify the body. gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over."
the mortician rolled him over & gomer looked down and said, "no, it ain't bubba."
the mortician asked, "how can you tell?"
gomer said, "well, bubba had two assholes."
"what? He had two assholes?" said the mortician.
"yup, everyone knew about it too. every time we
went to town, folks would say, "here comes bubba with them two assholes.'
Click to expand...
lol i remember my grandpa tellin me that one way back in the day
 
Tha Mack

Tha Mack

Sicc OG
#10
Feb 21, 2006
2,181
10
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41
#10
There was 2 constuction workers workin outside of a building. one on the 1st floor, the other on the 4th floor.

the guy on the 1st floor left his hammer on the 4th floor, so he yells up to his co-worker, "I need my hammer!"

the guy on the 4th floor couldn't hear him

so the guy on the 1st floor points to his eye (I) then points to his knee (need) then starts swinging a pretend hammer.

the guy up on the 4th floor pulls out his dick n starts jacking off.

furious, the guy runs up to the 4th floor n screams "what the fucks yer problem, i asked you for my hammer n you start jackin off??"

his co-worker says, "I know, i was trying to tell you "I'm coming"
 
kingsix18

kingsix18

Sicc OG
#16
Oct 19, 2008
2,034
384
0
35
San Diego
#16
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Cuz it was dead.

A black guy, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says "Get the fuck out."

So this guy and this girl go out on a date. They have their fun and at night they have sex. The guy tells the girl "There's something I want you to do. Will you suck my dick?" The girl says "No cuz I'm scared you won't respect me." So he says ok and forgets about it. Then they get married. On their honeymoon they have sex. Then the guy asks her "Will you suck my dick?" She said "No cuz I'm scared you won't respect me." So he says ok and forgets about it. On their 5 year anniversary they go to the Bahamas. At their hotel they have sex and the guy asks the girl "Will you suck my dick?" She finally says ok. So she sucks it and it's pretty good. Not great since it's her first time. He cums and she says "Well that wasn't too bad." So they go to sleep. Then their hotel phone starts ringing. And it keeps ringing and ringing and ringing. Finally the guy says "Well aren't you gonna pick it up cocksucker?"
 
Ethereal

Ethereal

Sicc OG
#17
Mar 18, 2003
5,362
194
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#17
This lady is giving birth to a baby.. the doctor completes the delivery, pulls the baby out and starts beating it senseless.

The mother screams, "What in God's name are you doing?!?"

The doctor says, "Oh I'm just fucking with you, the baby was already dead!".
 
I AM

I AM

Some Random Asshole
#20
Apr 25, 2002
21,001
86
48
#20
Ethereal said:
This lady is giving birth to a baby.. the doctor completes the delivery, pulls the baby out and starts beating it senseless.

The mother screams, "What in God's name are you doing?!?"

The doctor says, "Oh I'm just fucking with you, the baby was already dead!".
Click to expand...
i think we have a winner...

god damn man that's foul but i busted up laughin!
 
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