I crashed a church carnivel this weekend

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May 21, 2002
3,955
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Sacramento, CA
#1
So Saturday I'm in my rig rolling towards whichever strip mall the wind blows me towards, and I drive by this church where hella people are, a bunch of tents, and grills. I swerved into this place and decided to check it out since there were some chickies. Some nice little fuckin chickies.

I got out of my rig and flipped my shades down, unbuttoned a couple of my GAP casual dress shirt buttons, and strolled around and checked out the ongoing shit. Apparently it was some little Saturday carnival. How come nobody informed the Thought?

I got a snow cone and watched some stupid kids fuck off in the big bouncy air mattress tent. There were some dumbass games going on there too, but not much else. There were some decent chicks there, mostly jailbait. Then I saw a pack of hot chicks, possibly a few jailbaiters, posing next to the hot air balloon. They were wearing shorts and a couple had shirts that revealed big tits, and some jackass was taking photos of them together.

They got into what I considered some unintentional provocative poses, kind of hugging each other and sticking their asses out, you know, as if they didn't expect the photographer boy to be drooling. After they were done with a bunch of pictures and I had popped some wood, I saw them giggling and they were like, "Thanks Juuuuan Millionnnnn!!!" to the jerkoff. Fuck that guy. I should have been the one getting love from them beeotchees and grinning at their asses.

I muttered. "Dammit" and walked over to get a hamburger for free off the grill. Some chick was working the grill and as she delicately turned some hot dogs I stood there and said, "You're good at that," and she said "Thanks."
"One burger, please."
"Ok," she said.
I muttered REALLY low, "sex, please..."
"What?"
"Nothing," I said, and grabbed my burger and ate it.

I stuck around a bit longer and was about to leave when I looked over and saw that jackass photographer, yapping with a couple adults. I watched as he put him camera down behind some stage and rush off to go get a drink. With adrenaline rushing through me, I sneaked up behind the little stage and almost ran off with the camera. Since nobody was looking, I hit the ground and was concealed behind the stage and lay in the grass on my side. Like a soldier trying to pick apart a ticking time bomb, I ejected the fucking roll of film and stuffed it in my pocket. I peered up from the stage and NOBODY saw me. I stood up and tried to look normal when I saw the dude laughing with some other guy and making his way back to where the camera was. I slithered away and watched as he picked it up and walked off.

I got in my car, drove off as fast as I could. It was an EPIC feeling. I drove down some back roads through a neighborhood and did a head nod of confidence. Turned a corner and I'll be FUCKED if there wasn't some hot chick in her front yard, squatting in front of some flowers and doing something to them and I saw a nice crotch shot. I came to a stop and rolled the window down. She looked up and I made the assumption right then that she was about 19, 20, living at home with her parents. I had already gone this far...why not take it to the next level? I mean, I HAD to see this chick nude. Fucken HAD TO. I asked, "Pahdon me....which room is yours?"
"What?" she asked.
"I just wanted to know what room so that I could bust out some binoculars some night and watch you undress"
"What?" No harm to her...I wasn't going to tell her what night and it's harmless, plus it's an EARNED JERK. Dammit. I repeated...."Which room is yours here?"
She backed off and said nothing.....I asked, "Well?"
She ran back inside, and seconds later some old man with a KVE t-shirt burst out and yelled, "HEY!!"
I yelled, "Shoobiddy fukkin DOOOOOO!!!" I sped off.

WOW!! That fukker would have killed me.

It was a great effort by me though. I developed those damn pictures and lined the ones up of the chicks on my floor like I was playing "Memory," and spanked all over the place and did a Larry Bird fist-pump to the ground right afterwards, closing the deal. Perfectly excecuted. MONEY, and EARNED. Fuck that loser who thought he was going to jerk later to those chicks. I ripped his heart out of his ass. That was MONEY.

-D
 
Apr 25, 2002
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#2
Deep Thought said:
With adrenaline rushing through me, I sneaked up behind the little stage and almost ran off with the camera. Since nobody was looking, I hit the ground and was concealed behind the stage and lay in the grass on my side. Like a soldier
Lol, this part about you actin likea soldier had me crakin up....shit i could just imagine someone doin that....but cooh story tho, kept my interest