give feedback please

[bee]

im hella fuckin sick/ thats why bitches love to drop to they knees and suck my fuckin dick/ then i cum all over the place and it runs all down her face/ suck me off like a vacuum/ what can i say they love to consume my nut/ get some on her butt/ shes just a dirty slut/ all good tho/ jus one of my ho's/ they love to shed all their clothes and get in bed wit my bros/ homies hit it and they kno that some a these dirty bitches got to go/ they too dirty for us and like to cuss/ all they do is bitch and fuss/ but i wont let them outta the game alive/ pull out my nine and put one between they eyes/ and watch their souls rise into the skies/ their families couldnt help but to shed tears/ they couldnt do shit tho cause im #1 on their list of fears/ dont tempt me tho cause i love to drink beers and im on the brink of killin some queers/

 

[Cmoke]

a-b-c-1-2...oh sorry...keep workin on it

 

[bee]

haha....i just wanna know what i should do better (besides everything) cuz i kno im no good

 

[dissciple211]

just keep workin on your vocab dont just use big words but try to incorporate them into ur flow and make a storyline with it.Also be creative with metaphors and multis(rhyme multiple times ina line),the more u spit the better u will get dog keep that shit rollin.1

 

[Acer]

try not to rap about the same ol shit everyone else does