I received my AARP Card and had to use a magnifying glass to see the number to call to activate it, but after waiting on hold for so long I forgot who I was calling and why, so I hung up. As I made a prune juice martini (sooooo good) with a metamucil chaser, I popped a tape into the betamax and watched some of my favorite M.A.S.H reruns while thinking bout the "good old days" of the Los Angeles Raiders and the Minneapolis Lakers. SO i plugged the phone line into the computer,dialed up, and got this website address from my Rolodex and signed on BayAreaRapTalk.Net with my 1,000 free hours from AOL, but this 14.4 baud modem is kinda slow.
So as I watched some scrambled porn on channel 99 and checked my answering machine...i figured i should go out and buy some new porn DVD's but I realized that Hollywood Video was closed down.
I picked up the yellow pages to try and find a phone number, but it took so long and I got confused and just stopped. I trimmed my ear hair and decided it was getting late (it was almost 7pm) and it was time to take my Doans, drink some Crystal Pepsi and go to sleep...
but then I couldnt sleep and went to Woolworths to check if there are any sales on some Lifesavers soda,candy corn or Cactus Cooler