I'm a seventeen year old newcomer but have been writing lyrics for 5 years. I'm currently lookin for a record deal but i'm just about to start my own. this is a song a wrote a while back about my city. i wrote the first verse and my boy wrote the second. please post critism good or bad just be honest
chorus:
Grew up just a whiteboy in the ghetto had to prove myself/
So I started packin 3 glocks and hidin em on the shelf/
Sprayin round after round just to show I'm down/
No I'm the a greatest kingpin ever around/
Verse 1:
Y'all wanna know what livin in the nati's like/
Try fightin everyday just to keep your bike/
No jobs everybody gonna rob & steal/
Alot of fakers but plenty do stay real/
Police stay on riot gear on my block/
No female lies about suckin some cock/
Hour after hour another real player dies/
Police say it was an accident but we know they tellin lies/
Gangstaz stay equipped with more weapons than the armed forces/
Runnin from the boys in blue is like gonna threw obstacle courses/
Some playaz make they girl straight get an abortion/
Don't pay ya debts you'll be twisted in contortion/
Going out on Halloween that's a little risky/
Kids gettin jacked for they candy after a bottle of whisky/
But what's worst is seein your boy shot dead in front of a church/
An always knowing you could be the next one layin in the hearse/
Chorus: x2
Verse 2:
Ghetto Livin in Cincinnati/
Hard azz timez with hard azz killaz/
Everybody pullin triggaz tryin make major figgaz/
People on the corner slangin any drugz/
Even if it means getting hit with 7 slugz/
Bitches be trickin everyday/
Just tryin make some pay/
Young teenagers smokin on that sticky weed/
Growin up evil never doing a good deed/
Alot of motherfuckers pullin 187'z/
We just some ghetto dawgz tryin get to heaven/
Its hard on the goddamn streets/
That's whay playaz turn to the beats/
Every playa be dreamin of havin some 20 inch feet/
Guys payin major loot for the bj/
Tryin get one everyday/
Haterz keep bustin the gunz/
Just for a couple of ones/
Chorus: x2
chorus:
Grew up just a whiteboy in the ghetto had to prove myself/
So I started packin 3 glocks and hidin em on the shelf/
Sprayin round after round just to show I'm down/
No I'm the a greatest kingpin ever around/
Verse 1:
Y'all wanna know what livin in the nati's like/
Try fightin everyday just to keep your bike/
No jobs everybody gonna rob & steal/
Alot of fakers but plenty do stay real/
Police stay on riot gear on my block/
No female lies about suckin some cock/
Hour after hour another real player dies/
Police say it was an accident but we know they tellin lies/
Gangstaz stay equipped with more weapons than the armed forces/
Runnin from the boys in blue is like gonna threw obstacle courses/
Some playaz make they girl straight get an abortion/
Don't pay ya debts you'll be twisted in contortion/
Going out on Halloween that's a little risky/
Kids gettin jacked for they candy after a bottle of whisky/
But what's worst is seein your boy shot dead in front of a church/
An always knowing you could be the next one layin in the hearse/
Chorus: x2
Verse 2:
Ghetto Livin in Cincinnati/
Hard azz timez with hard azz killaz/
Everybody pullin triggaz tryin make major figgaz/
People on the corner slangin any drugz/
Even if it means getting hit with 7 slugz/
Bitches be trickin everyday/
Just tryin make some pay/
Young teenagers smokin on that sticky weed/
Growin up evil never doing a good deed/
Alot of motherfuckers pullin 187'z/
We just some ghetto dawgz tryin get to heaven/
Its hard on the goddamn streets/
That's whay playaz turn to the beats/
Every playa be dreamin of havin some 20 inch feet/
Guys payin major loot for the bj/
Tryin get one everyday/
Haterz keep bustin the gunz/
Just for a couple of ones/
Chorus: x2